My Son just turned one and I have been breastfeeding him on demand, I have also introduced him solids since he was about 7 months. I enjoy Breastfeeding him the whole time untill recently.
I remember when he was born, he was able to sleep for 5 hours straight without waking up for a feeding, but now he is waking up about every 2 hours just to go on the breast or he will cry.
I know he is not hungry, he just doesn't know how to self sooth. I have been trying the "not letting him fall asleep nursing" method ( I read somewhere that before they fall asleep while nursing, you gently pull the nipple away so they get used to the idea that they dont need breast to fall asleep) but I dont think its working. One day I can pull off with ease the whole night and some nights (like last night) He is up every like 30 mins just to look for the breast... and I m just sooo sooo tired... Please any suggestions are welcome , thanks for helping...
Thank you all for the very helpful responds!!
Hubby and I always had a night time routine but last night, we started a different routine,.. We had dinner, played a little, showered, i nursed him, brush teeth, story time and then its time to sleep. It wasn't easy he was protesting and crying most of the time and kept on showing me the sign for "milk" (there were a few times I almost gave in) but I stuck through it and we just kept on putting him down and telling him its time to sleep, we also sang to him and gave him plently of hugs and kisses. To my surprise, even tho it felt like eternity but it only took about 1 hour. He slept for about 3 1/2 hr which hasnt happend in a long time!! and we did the round 2 with him for about 30 mins and he slept for another 3 hours.!! I hope this is a breakthrough and I m crossing my figers that tonight will be just a little easier. Thanks again for the great support and suggestions!! I will keep updated!
You can't! I'm not trying to be rude. I just gave up trying. I breastfed for 23 months and I could never get my daughter to sleep through the night. I have no idea how anyone can get their little one to sleep through the night. Yes, I was constantly exhausted but now shes off the breast and while she still doesn't always sleep through the night all the time, it's gotten a little easier.
Dear E.,
When my son was one, I DID continue to breastfeed him on demand, so I did not practice what I'm about to preach.
However, I have read that breastfeeding immediately before sleep results in a digestive process that makes it difficult for young children to continue sleeping. I also did use the method you describe (gently pulling the nipple away), and it seemed harmless, but it honestly didn't get us any closer to weaning. I sort of concluded that children are smarter than that, you know? If you're going to make a big change, they can tell, and they won't be deceived by half-measures. It's better just to make the change.
In addition, I've read (from a very breastfeeding-friendly source that I really trust -- Dr. Sears) that it's helpful for toddlers to have some comfort object other than mom's breast. And, finally, the older and further into toddlerhood your son gets, the harder it'll be to switch up his routine. One-year-olds are a lot more open to change than 2s and 3s.
So, at your son's age, you really might want to look for a bedtime routine that doesn't involve nursing, perhaps by having someone else do bedtime for a little while.
HOWEVER, I also want to be clear that you don't HAVE to do this. If it works better for you to nurse on demand, there is nothing in the world wrong with it, and there's no evidence whatsoever that it'll be in any way detrimental to your son's long-term development. To make the process livable for yourself, you might think about letting your son sleep on a futon on the floor, so you can fall asleep next to him. I did that with my son, he DID eventually self-wean, and he's a wonderful, super-smart little boy. No damage done. I'm not sure I'd do it with a second child, honestly, but for the multiply allergic kid I've got, I'm glad he got the nutrients.
Best wishes, and don't feel bad, whatever you do. It'll wind up being the right decision for you and your son.
Mira
Breastfeeding a one year old in our society can be challenging because we often feel that the milestone of 1 year means babies should be able to be independent, no longer need the breast, and that we can now make a transition and start doing more. I've found this milestone is more significant for moms than for babies, though.
Breastmilk is still very important for babies, especially at one year and 18 month milestones, and it really is great that you have continued to nurse your son, as this is the best nutrition. Nursing can also be a source of teaching your child that someone is always there and cares, this is probably what you are experiencing now. Your son may be more active during the day and with that activity, some children look for more comfort -- connection to mom at night.
One of the things that you didn't say is if your baby's sleeping arrangements have changed. I thought that when my daughter turned 1 year that we could change our sleeping arrangements -- she was not happy with that at all. This made her more clingy and she wanted to nurse more for comfort and making sure mom was nearby. .
We often spend lots of time trying to get our children to sleep in their own bed, and give them inanimate objects to "love". While my position may not be popular, it worked for me and I think you need to find something that can work for you, allow you to get rest, and provide your baby with the security he needs.
At about one year, in our home, we call the change from infant to toddler and the resultant clinginess "the porcupine syndrome" because while we love to be close and cuddle the quills of the porcupine mom and baby often poke the other.
You might try some soothing methods, such as starting a bedtime routine -- perhaps a tepid bath (if your baby likes baths), a relaxing massage with some light lavender scent, and then swaddling (if he will tolerate it), and a nursing session. The swaddling allows them to feed secure. If your baby wakes up to nurse, you may be able to gradually substitute the nursing with a patting rocking motion.
It may help too if dad is available if he does some of the above. My husband always enjoyed the cuddling up with a book after a bath with my girls. If your baby likes music, you could also play a video of his favorite music -- we loved Hap Palmer's Baby Songs.
Unfortunately, as moms we are on demand 24 hours, and we don't always know what is going on with our children or what the future holds, so embrace this time of change.
I find with any change, and as moms we experience a lot of them as our children grow, that I need to give it time and me praise for my patience (which is often shorter than I would like) to work through it one small step at a time.
Hope this helps. Enjoy this time, your baby is only at this stage once.
My little ones never quit waking up to nurse until I weaned them, which was about 18 months. When they were finally weaned, both of them slept through the night, all night! My son was different though. I had to wean him early, due to several reasons, and he is just about to turn 1. He recently started sleeping through the night, because my hubby and I decided that we would just let him cry it out. He was waking like 3 times per night, but we let him CIO for a few nights, and now he's sleeping like a rock. It's so nice to sleep all night. Good luck with your little one.
K.
Sorry to say but he will have to go cold turkey. Right now he is running
the show. Do not nurse him when he wakes up. Go in rub his back,
calm him, b ut do not feed him. You will have some rough nights for
the first week, but in the end everyone will be happier.
Updated
Sorry to say but he will have to go cold turkey. Right now he is running
the show. Do not nurse him when he wakes up. Go in rub his back,
calm him, b ut do not feed him. You will have some rough nights for %0
This might sound harsh but no more breast. It'll take a few nights but he'll get the message. Breast mil;k at his age isn't very filling so yes he wakes up every 2 hours. The pacifier breast is the worst thing in the world becasue it is hard to break. Shop around for a good pacifier, no cheapy ones. I forgot the brand but I found one as close to a nipple as possible when I dried up. You could even take the top off a baby bottle that is close to natural and use that. My son weaned himself off the fake nipple within months. Put your foot down and stay strong.
hello
it's gonna take a while but i think a 1 year he need to fall sleep by his own ,try to give him dinner and then a little breastfeed and then just read a book and then the crib awake and he needs to learn fall sleep
it's hard but is the only way ....i did that with my twins and it took me 3months but now the sleep all night :)
Introduce a "lovie" or other comfort item, whether it's a paci, blanket, stuffed animal or some combination of all of those things.
At 1, he should not be feeding at all in the middle of the night. You're going to have to stop this cold turkey.
Go to him give him his comfort items that you introduce and soothe him to sleep (I would not suggest picking him up, rather just patting his back or tucking him back in). After he gets the hang of that, stop going in there if he wakes up. He may need to cry for a bit, but he'll be fine. And you'll get your sanity back!
E.,
Good for you for breastfeeding for so long. I did too, it was very difficult, but in my opinion, totally worth it. We had some sleep issues with our son at about 9 months (I nursed him for 13). Elizabeth Pantley's book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution offerred some good advice. Its easy to say nurse until drowsy, the put down in the crib awake, but in my experience, nearly impossible to do.
I strongly recommend you get the book, it helped me a lot.
Good luck,
R.
If you haven't already, put him in a different room, so he is not sleeping with you.
Have your husband (or someone else that may be living with you, but NOT you) offer him a bottle when he wakes up. It will take you about 4 - 5 days, but he will realize very soon that no nipple is coming his way and will stop waking up.
Also, let him cry for a little bit before offering the bottle, slowly prolong the crying times and see if he can figure out how to soothe himself. Most babies figure it out.
but it's important that he is not in your room and you have the monitor turned off, so you don't feel the urge to get up and see him and the smallest whimper.
good luck
