Hey C., I feel the same way about my house. I just started bagging up toys and putting them away. Nobody ever seems to wonder what happened to them. It took my 5 year old a month to realize the play kitchen that took up space and never got played with was gone. (I sold it on Craigslist and put $50 in my pocket). We moved 6 months ago and I have 3 boxes of toys, stuffed animals, etc. My girls, 8 & 5, haven't missed a single thing. Just this morning, I'm unpacking those boxes and putting most of it up for sale on Craigslist or ebay.
Regarding the laundry, if it's not in the hamper, it doesn't get washed. I don't care if it's sitting right beside it. With my husband, this finally started to work after a few weeks.
Can't help you with the garbage issue. With the dishes, I had to ask them every night until they just do it. Luckily, my husband will call them back to put them in the sink if he sees it. If they forget, we call them back to do it. It just takes time and repetition.
Also, I'd quit with all the extra cleaning everyday, just tidy up. It sounds like it just frustrates you.
Good luck,
B.