i am looking forward to seeing people's ideas on this subject! good question! I guess what i have realized being a sahm with my 1yr old is not to put off doing your chores otherwise they build up and then its hard to catch up. also, if you go upstairs, bring something with you like laundry or bring dishes to the kitchen if you are going in there anyway...just alway have something in your hands to put away. if you walk past a toy on the floor just pick it up right then.
i have started to keep a whiteboard calendar that has one major chore a day so i can keep up with keeping the house clean (vacuum one day, clean bathroom the next etc.).
also, i have a bunch of trader joe's grocery reusable bags that i keep hung on my coat rack and they are filled with things to go to the park with (like diapers, toys, blanket, a bag of snacks etc.) so then we have to leave the house that back is already packed. when you come home you have to restock it but it helps so much to limit the amount of time it takes to leave the house.
as far as mail and random things between me and my husband, i have two "dinner trays"...one for him one for me. and i just distribute mail, receipts, notes, lists, random things that i don't know what my husband wants me to do with it and things that i don't even know if i should keep or throw away...and once a month i sit the trays on the floor when my husband is home and go through the trays.
and i have a magnetic pad of paper on the refridgerator to write what we need for groceries...i just keep a running tab.
i also keep a small blank whiteboard around and use that to keep track of pending items like "write thank you's", "call insurance", return library books, etc. it feels good to erase items on the list!
oh and one other thing...i think you have to try different strategies out to see what best fits you like some people like tracking their tasks on the computer, some like paper lists, or day planers...i happened to really like whiteboards!