Hitting Problem

She getting something from hitting or she wouldn't do it.... never give in to her, always put her on a time out and apologize for hitting, have the teachers or other parents do the same with her.... tell her she can't play with the other children if she is going to hit them.... but always remember to praise her when she is playing nicely.... children desire attention... and they'll get it one way or another... Children make mistakes, it's how they learn.... I always concentrated and praised their achievements.....

LOL. I'm going to share with you a technique that dog trainers use to teach puppies not to bite, and I've seen it work just as well for kids. The next time she hits either you or your husband, give her an exaggerated response. Crumple your face and wail in pain, maybe even a few crocodile tears for good measure. (Just don't over do it so much that you traumatize the kid.) If that doesn't work, you could always give her a pop on the hand the next time she hits someone. The idea is to "show" her how much being hit hurts. Good luck!

Most kids will hit others even parents, or usually parents 1st until they're stopped. How to stop them? Hit them back and explain that hitting is not nice. Have her teacher give you a report each day on what she does with classmates. I think if you all step up to the plate and return the favor, she'll calm down. That's old fashioned discipline but it works.

My daughter whet trough this too. We had a very firm "you hit, You sit" policy. It has to be consistent every time she hits. Good luck.

Hi J.,
You are DEFINITELY not alone in this hitting phase. My daughter is 23 months and has been doing the same thing to me, and it gets me even more upset when she laughs and thinks it's funny. I've spoken to other moms at daycare and I feel better knowing other parents are going through the same thing, but what can we do? Don't give up on the "timeouts" or quiet time. Make sure daycare is disciplining her the same way as you so you're all on the same page. Every time she hits say, "no. no hitting. it hurts", or something short and to the point. Our daughter is "starting" to get it somewhat, but still have a ways to go. Just be patient and keep up the same discipline and she will grow out of it. Let me know how it goes!!

Hi, J.! I think this is a natural stage she is going through. I am so glad you are concerned about it. There is nothing more nerve-racking and aggravating to me than to be responsible for children who hit. I just can't tolerate it. If you are consistent, you will see a change in her behavior. My children are 16 and 15 now and my daughter now has a friend older than her that still likes to use hitting to aggravate. It reminded me of the stage my children went through when they were very young and it made me very glad that I addresed the problem and got rid of it!!! Your efforts will pay off for you and for society as well, so I congratulate you for your efforts on nipping this one in the bud!!

When my neighbor's daughter was 2, she started pinching children in her class and in the nursery at church, one time even pinching the blood out of a a little girl's arm. Like you, they tried everything. Then, out of desperation, the mother decided that every time the child pinched someone, she would pinch her. It made her aware of how she was hurting other children. Within 2 weeks she had stopped pinching. This was a bit extreme, but it worked.

does she have a favorite toy or game? You can try telling her when the teacher tells you that she has misbehaved or if she does it to you, then she loses that for the rest of the day. Sometimes it has to be drastic when the timeout's aren't working. But the main thing is to be consistent with what works for you. For my son, who was very aggressive, the time out's worked at that age because he could care less about toys, now that he is older, it's very upsetting to him to lose something for an hour a day, whatever the punishment is.

Also, maybe you could try to reward everyday she goes without hitting, such as a treat jar, no hitting in class and she gets a treat, let her pick what the treat is. good luck!

Hi J.-

When my son (2 1/2) swings to try and hit or actually does hit, I hold his arm so he can't do it and have him look at me while I explain why it is wrong. He doesn't like to know he has hurt someone he cares about--family or friends. That has curbed his desire to hit along with me having him use words instead of his hands/arms to communicate, i.e., tell Justin that you are playing with the toy right now and he can play with it later.

Even though she is just a little one, have you asked her why she is hitting? It's worth a try because her answer might give you some insight and help you to help her to stop this behavior.

Since the time-outs are not working, I think you and your dh should sit her down during a time when she is not in trouble and talk to her. Tell her you love her and you love each other and people who love each other do not hit each other. Ask her if she thinks that is true? Again, the response you get might help you. Befor you have this conversation, you and dh need to figure out what it is she loves right now. Is it a doll? A game, A movie in the car? Whatever her favorite is, decide that every time there is a report of hitting, she will lose that privilege for a day. Finding the right consequence is sometimes a little tricky but you can do it and once you find the right one, she will respond to it because as you mentioned, she is a well behaved child.

Don't forget to do this as a couple. This is a good time for her to see that you and your dh are a team. Hope this helps, S.

J. I hope this issue is getting better most children do go through this and PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKES DON'T I REPEAT DON'T HIT HER BACK!!! time out 2 mins if you see her hit then you put her hands in your and tell her "WE DON'T HIT" period it's that simple hitting a child back at that age is just confusing period. It's like the bitting thing I can't understand why some parents think that giving a bite back helps. There are also books at the book store about her age level that say not to hit, there's book about sharing etc I suggest you get some of these and start reading to her now about nice things to enforce what you tell her. I know that teachers wouldn't by law be able to hit your child back so it only makes sense to advocate the same steps as the teacher "Time Out" and the words "WE DON'T HIT "...best wishes to you.