Hitting, Pinching and Biting.

Hi P.,
I have a 13 month old that likes to poke at eyes. Usually when he does this he thinks he is playing and I just say "no" and distact him with something else. At this age if he isn't doing it in anger I wouldn't worry about it. A different stage will be here shortly. LOL. I've never had a biter so I don't know if that is a stage or not. Good luck.
Chris

It can be so frustrating and embarrassing to deal with this. My son did much the same thing. He liked to throw things at people, too. So, for that, we taught him to only throw a soft, squishy ball. At least then, he would be truly playing, rather than something that could hurt someone, or make them think he was trying to be mean. As for hitting, if he started along that line, we taught him to high five. He gets to experience the sensation, without the mean intention. Biting, we just told him, we bite food, not people. Also, ge might be getting his one year molars, so you might want to see if it helps to treat his mouth for teething pain. We discovered that alot of why our son bit, was because it made his mouth feel a little better from the pain of cutting those teeth. Pinching can be an even trickier one, though. For that, we just had to keep on him, saying no, when ever he tried, and catching his hands before he could get to do it. This is tiring, but it's also easier to stop once you get him broken of the other bad habits. He'll grow out of it. It just takes time.

FIRST OF ALL TO GET HIM TO STOP BITING BY BITING HIM BACK

i know it sounds horrible but at a year old they don't really understand what "no, ouch" really is. i kept saying ouchi everytime she'd bump her head or inflict pain on herself and then when she started in with the slapping me in the face or biting me when i nursed or pinching; i would say "no ouchie!" every time and redirect her attention; took a few times but eventually she got it.

I have a 12 and 13 year olds when they were younger my youngest child went through the same thing. I would do back to her the same thing she would do to me .If see would bite I would bite her back and then she quit bitting after acouple of days after she relized if she bite me I would do it back to her and she did not like it. as far as hitting you in the face I would grap her hand and tell her no that is not nice or exceptable and it took a while to get her to understand that but she final did quit.pinching I suggest the as for bitting . I hope this helps you.

My son did something fairly similar, with the hitting and biting. When he bit, we would immediately tell him "no" VERY loudly and put him on the floor (as he only bite when we were holding him). It took me all of two days to get that if he wanted to hang out with us, he couldn't bite us. If you give the child ANY type of attention they get "reinforced" for the behavior and do it again. So, with the hitting too, we would just remove him from what he wanted most - attention. He gets a time out in our office chair now (he's a little over 18 months) for hitting, and he has almost given that one up.

Hello P.

It is very frustrating when children hit, bite pinch. You mentioned your son would hit when his face was held. He might be telling you in his own way he doesn't like it. I run a daycare and have found if you use baby signs starting at 8 months by 1 yr children can have a way of communicating with you and it reduces allot of these behaviors.

Also make sure that other family members are not laughing when these things are done. He will think it is a game. The biting could be due to teething and you can give him something to chew on. I have a toy that you bite on it vibrates and my kids love it. Pinching you just take his hand and say no pinching, pinching hurts. Show him a sad face..

I wish you the best and congrats on the new baby.

I'm not exactly sure what the answer is but I will tell you that our daughter who is 4 1/2 has a tendency to hit or kick at myself, her dad and her most loving grandma when she is frustrated or angry. It feels like total disrespect. When we say no at first we hold her hands or legs but she will just continue (otherwise she is really a sweet little girl really). We will eventually put her in a time out usually in her room until she is ready to apologize and behave. She never really started this until she was about 2 1/2 so I don't know if time outs would work for your child since he is so young. I know the Nanny book I have addresses this so I'll look it up and let you know if I learn from an expert. Sometimes my daughter starts her antics thinking it is funny, which we remind her it is not. I know other moms who have children around ours age and they kick and hit also. I haven't been notified or witnessed my daughter behaving like this with other children thank goodness. It must be a worry for you with another young one coming so soon. You will really have to be on the look out. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck conquering this battle.
T.

what exactly are you doing as disapline? Just saying no don't do that? Try putting him in his crib or a pack and play or even strap him in his high chair the second he does either. If he's anything like my kids he'll then realize he did something wrong. Do NOT talk when you do this. Leave him there for a minute. when in public sternly tell him no and hold his hands for a minute, do this for hitting or biting. The number one rule for this to work is not to try to stop the crying you're surely going to get and not to talk to him while he's in the "time out". Ignore him for a full minute. Then take him out and say nothing or tell him no hitting or no biting, which ever you prefer. He's a baby and saying to much about it will only take away the effect of the punishment. He's going to really not like being confined so he'll get the picture faster then talking his ear off about it. Let's face it, you can't reason with a baby, so why try? This has worked wonders for my kids and my house is much more happy since we started it with all bad behavior. Good Luck!

My son just turned turned 1 on Feb 3rd and he does the exact same thing, when he hits us, we take our hand and gently stroke it down his face and say " nice" he hates anything touching his face so this seems to distract him and he will stop. As for the pinching it is usually when he is very excited or something startles him, when he does this we say "ow" very loudly and he will actually put his head on my shoulder very lovingly as if to say "sorry" I don't know if anything of this will help, but know that you are not alone!!

unfortunately the only thing that worked with my 4 kids on the pinching and biting was to do it back to them, of course not real hard but enough so that they can feel it. surprised the heckout of them and thye realized that it wasnt funny. i cant help you on the hitting though, my kids fortunatley didnt do it.

P., this may seem so easy and maybe too easy, but it worked for my son (he will be 1 year on March 8th - I am also 5 months pregnant with a girl; what a coinsidence!). Anyway, my Mother perfomed a mirale when I told her that my son was hitting and laughing about it. Over a weekend he spent with her, every time he would hit, she would take his hand, mock a stroking of her face and say "Nice Grandma". She said she probably did it 100 times over the course of the weekend. But it worked! When my son came back home, my Mother told me about this and I'm like "Yeah, right", but I tried it when he slapped. I said "Nice Mama", and he actually took his hand ever so gently just how my Mother had "trained" him and stroked the side of my face instead of slapping. Now, when he's not even slapping (which he very rarely does), I say "Nice Mama" and he is "trained" to nicely stroke my face. Amazing how fast they can learn with persistence and consistency. This works with everyone, even the dog, who probably appreciates it more than anyone! Good luck! And all the luck with the baby too! Isn't it exciting!