Hitting by an 19 Month Old

Do you expect to teach a child not to hit by hitting him?He is frustrated and is not old enough to articulate what's bothering him. Help him learn to use language not hitting and hair pulling-biting will be next, I suppose. Then what will you do? Bite him ?

When he hits you or pulls your hair, say "ouch!" loudly and painfully, then walk out of the room quickly. If you're holding him, put him down abruptly and walk out. This says, "you hurt me---I don't want to play with you." He doesn't want to hurt you (you are his most important person), and this shows him that you are done when he does it. He'll run after you crying, most likely. This is him saying he's sorry. It's a lesson for him about hurting others.

he may be too young to even connect being in time out with the hitting. Just continue to say NO, and make a very dramatic sad face, if he is doing it when frustrated of tired or sad give him those words "you're MAD! but no hitting!!" if he thinks it's playing try patting him softly and saying "be nice" touch his hair soflty and say "nice, gentle" NO pulling He will understand your tone of voice and your facial expressions better than he will understand a discussion so keep your words short. if will take a Lot of Repetition!

I'm not sure I know any child that does well with timeouts. My youngest will be 2 this month and I've been doing timeouts with him since he could walk. He is taken to a different room and put in a particular chair when he hits, pulls hair, bites or pitches an almighty fit. He knows that being sent to the laundry room is no party.

You're not creating a monster. Just nip it when he starts getting rough. A firm warning/reminder to be gentle is the first step, then give him a time out for any further rough behavior. Kids understand a lot more than many give them credit for understanding. They can't verbalize it at that age, but they understand exactly what you're saying when you tell them no or to be gentle.

Well, at 19 months your son hasn't necessarily developed empathy yet and he really doesn't know how hard is too hard. It's normal for him to get carried away. The thing is to teach him -- owww, you are hurting Mommy. Let him know that it hurts. And you can gently show him that it hurts. If he pulls your hair hard, for example, tell him, owww that really hurts me! Then you can gently tug his hair and say see, that hurts, don't do that! It may never have occurred to him that he can hurt you. It will take some time, but he will get the idea. Putting him on time out for this behavior has nothing to do with the behavior and since it starts out with playing, he's not doing anything out of bad motivation -- so punishment doesn't make sense -- he's not meaning to hurt you. It doesn't sound like he's anywhere near a monster -- just a little boy -- and going to hit the chair after he couldn't hit his Grandmother sounds just like a little guy, following through with all his energy and intentions. I think every parent with a son has been through this stage.

Updated

Well, at 19 months your son hasn't necessarily developed empathy yet and he really doesn't know how hard is too hard. It's normal for him to get carried away. The thing is to teach him -- owww, you are hurting Mommy. Let him know that it hurts. And you can gently show him that it hurts. If he pulls your hair hard, for example, tell him, owww that really hurts me! Then you can gently tug his hair and say see, that hurts, don't do that! It may never have occurred to him that he can hurt you. It will take some time, but he will get the idea. Putting him on time out for this behavior has nothing to do with the behavior and since it starts out with playing, he's not doing anything out of bad motivation -- so punishment doesn't make sense -- he's not meaning to hurt you. It doesn't sound like he's anywhere near a monster -- just a little boy -- and going to hit the chair after he couldn't hit his Grandmother sounds just like a little guy, following through with all his energy and intentions. I think every parent with a son has been through this stage.

Just do what his grandmother does - I think this is a part of development. He is not a monster. My first child never hit, but my second one does and I do exactly what your mother does and he moves on.. You have to be firm.

easy....slap his hand EVERY time he does that...probably not perfered, but my daughter started that at that age, slapped her hand hard enough that is scared her and she soon stopped, and i disagree with sue, he is not too young for time outs he's over 1 year, so time out should be for 1 min that's all he will understand or remember time out for (1 min per year of age rule)

he's too young for timeouts. grandma has the right idea. it's fine if he punches the couch! remember, he's expressing frustration that he can't verbalize. if he's learned already to do so by taking it out on inanimate objects, he's well ahead of an awful lot of older kids. and adults, for that matter.
you may be a bit 'safer' than grandma so don't be surprised if it takes longer or he backslides more with you. be patient and persistent.
and for heavens sake, don't resort to hitting him back. someone is sure to suggest it. ignore them.
khairete
S.

Never fear A., my daughter did this at the exact same age!! The way you describe your son totally reminds me of her. She often would hit me when she got so excited or happy about something! Timeouts never worked for us. All I did when she hit was hold her arms down, look into her eyes and tell her "No. We do not hit." very sternly, and then I'd let her go. Most of the time she didn't hit again in that moment. She was a "hitter" for about 2 or 3 months. Then it stopped. Just keep telling him NO. You're not creating a monster. In my opinion, it's pretty normal behavior at this age (at least that's my experience) My little hitter turns 7 next week, and she is an absolute sweetheart :)