Be sure when they have a task to "allow them to do it their way".
You can make some suggestions, but as long as they get it done be pleased.
Also notice when they do something without you asking and tell them, "Thank you for picking up your clothes, without me telling you."
"I like the way you put your dishes in the sink without me having to ask."
When our daughter started school, we spoke about her responsibilities.
I explained it was her school. Her homework, her back pack. I would help when she asked, but she was responsible for doing the work and remembering to pack it into her backpack.
As she got into higher grades, we discussed projects. Again I told her If she needed help to let me know, but the teachers really wanted to see her work.
I really tried not to be a helicopter parent. The first time she called because she forgot something, I took it to her, but told her in the futre, I was not going to be able to do that any more.
I allowed her to be given her REAL grade.. If she did not study, oh well.. If she did not turn in homework.. Hmmm, what are you going to do about this? Tomorrow you were supposed to have those items, So sorry, I am going to bed, you knew thie a week ago..
Yes, some people will say their children are too young, but I learned that our daughter only took once or twice to realize, I was serious..
I promise by the time she was in 5th grade, hardly any of the parents at her elementary school were still asking, "do you have homework?
The kids knew they did and so did we.. It continued all the way through high school.
Allow them to succeed with your acknowledgement, and allow them to fail if they do not do the work. Grades do not matter till High School.. By that time these children will know what is expected.
We also had discussions about making choices. Good and bad. Trying her best and that sometimes, it was not going ot be perfect, but that is ok. That as long as she did her best, we were going to be fine with that..
It was the taking chances she had and still has problems with.. She likes to be able to control everything and we are trying to allow her to just try it.. It is not a failure it is a chance to try something new. No one is always perfect..