Helping Child Who Is Often Left Out

There are a couple of different things you can do....

1. Try to make plans with the other girls from school, try not to make plans with the already existing clicks bacause she will host an party an still be on the outside. Invite all the girls, or just a few who may be on the outside as well. Talk to the teacher she should know ehere the clicks already are.

2. Try outside activitys, you could even find out what other girls in the class do, i.e. sports softball, soccer, cheerleading, dance, non-sports awana, girls scouts. THere is a lot out there just look around.

3. Individual sleepovers are a great way to start that great bound. Try inviting just one girl to a movie (i.e. high school musical 3, or the dog movie) and then to sleep over. Make plans that will help them make lasting memories.

Good Luck!

She may not be as worried about it as you are. Most private schools actually shun the individual best friend in favor of group friends to reduce peer pressure etc. Or "one" on One which may not be a truly good influence. She also is being less exclusive by keeping friends with all vs just one. BUT perhaps you can find an activity she truly can develop a passion for like sports where she is more likely to develop a close bond with girls more similar in interests. Horseback riding also really helps someone open up. But she has a lot of years to go through life and friendships will last some fleeting through trials of life. At 10 they are still more close to family than wanting to be away from family so count your blessings!

Sorry to hear about her pain, basically girls can be MEAN and insensitive. Try an outside activity like Girl Scouts or a church youth group where she can meet a BFF that shares her interests. Or see if there is another girl on the fringes of the group and start actively courting her as a new friend, invite her to playdates make the first move towards friendship.

Hi Robyn,

Is she part of any type of sport or after school activity that doesn't not have to do with her school? If not, that may help her.

D.
"have you send an unexpected card today"

Try getting your daughter involved in a club, like 4-H, or a girls club, with people who live closer to you. Then she will have plans of her own with her own friends and those at school will not be so important. Also she will be doing things she enjoys with others who enjoy those same things.

I can relate to your problem. I have an 11 year old who is the same way, and still is not the "best friend" of any of the girls she knows. We moved from Michigan, so it is hard to break in with those who are already friends. But there are a few solutions. I encourage her not to give up, and find other places in which to make friends. With only 10 to choose from at your daughter's school, that is not necessarily enough to find a good friend. So like my daughter, we go to parks that are close, we go to extra curricular activities and go to church. She still hasn't found a best friend, but she makes new ones every week, and because she makes them so often, this makes her feel special. Unfortunately it takes time. We have been here 3 1/2 years, and she had many best friends up in Michigan, so she knows what it is like and keeps searching. Somefriends she makes are too far away, or too busy, but I tell her that there are more girls out there who need friends too, be patient and it will come. In the mean time, we do a lot together to make her feel special right here at home and it helps build our relationship. Good luck and be patient.

Maybe you should have a party at your house and have her invite all the girls over. Make sure all of them are invited and no one is left out. That just may give her the chance to make a friend. Also maybe she is trying to hard to make friends. Tell her to be herself and friendship will come to her. Also take a look at how you are dressing her. Does she stand out from the rest or dress different? At that age girls look at those things. But for starters I would have the party. Also maybe you should consider putting her in public school where there are more kids and a greater chance of making friends. Private schools are not all they are cracked up to be.