Help with the Day to Day Grind!

I'm a working mom to two young boys and my favorite two time savers are having someone else clean my house and ordering my groceries from vons.com! Thought of a third...ordering my diapers from diapers.com...less impulse shopping at Target for me!

Good luck.
-M

Here's the system I've worked out by trial and error...

1. Make a list of things that need to be done (in my head, usually, writing takes too much time and the baby eats the list anyway).

2. If I manage to cross one thing off in a day, that's a success. If I don't, that's fine too.

3. Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. For example, if I vaccuum today, it'll need to be done again a dat sooner than if I leave it until tomorrow. Got enough food for dinner and breakfast? Shop tomorrow.

So my system amounts to "try to do less." Yes, I'm trying to be a bit funny, but it's all true as well. I used to be a bit of a neat freak and chronically organized, and the best lesson my kids have taught me is to let it go and play with them instead. :)

I'm repeating the first Response just so you take it extra seriously: Fly Lady! God bless Fly Lady. It's free, and it's AWESOME.

www.flylady.net

There's no other way and it's free.

I usually have a basic list for each day. I used to have 10 things for each day. Then when we adopted my oldest, it went down to 5 things a day. Then we had my daughter, it went down to 3 things a day. My goals each day are to run a load of dishes in the dishwasher, run a load of clothes in the wash, and fix dinner. On the days that both kids are in preschool (M-W-F), I do errands, pick up the house and vacuum, and other odds and ends that need to be done. Since my son is almost 5, we have him clean up his room about once a week. My 2 yo DD is pretty good at wanting to help clean, so while brother is cleaning his room, she helps me pick up her room.

DH handles all the out of the house stuff (pool, lawn, trash, etc.). And I ask him to clean the guest bathroom twice a month. He will also help pick up the living room when we have guests coming over and will do a load of dishes about once a week if I ask him.

I do my grocery shopping once a week with my bestfriend. We usually go on Thursday nights and have dinner then do our shopping. We have fun, get some time away from the kids and hubby and also get an essential chore done while having fun!

I get up around 630am and check my emails before the kids get up. DH volunteered to get up with the kids in the morning, feed them breakfast, and he will get my son dressed before he leaves for work. He felt like he never got good time with the kids during the week because of work, so he figured the hour or so in the morning was his best shot at it.

But honestly, this routine didn't start to really work until my daughter was about a year old. Before that I was breastfeeding and she was so needy just because of her age. So for now, I suggest setting a goal of 1 or 2 chores/goals a day. Then as your baby gets older, add on a few more.

My dining room area and my room are always a mess. There is always laundry and dishes to do, even if I do a load everyday. There are always things to be put away and to get done. So I tackle what I can..but spend most of my day with my kids doing things with them. In the big picture, does it really matter if the house is a little disorganized when your kids got to spend that extra 30 minutes laughing and doing something fun with you? Know what I mean? So just take one day at a time. As they get older, keeping things in order gets better and easier.

I'm thinking your child needs a lot of attention and that's why you can't do much. I'd say buy yourself a good baby carrier (Asian baby carriers are the best, you cna google that) and just wear him when you do your chores. you can put him on your back and vacuum or wash dishes or dust around.

I know it's not the popular answer but it saved me with my second child who was way more demanding than my first. Also, I say this because i do practice attachment parenting, which you can look up and see how it can help you. I don't do everything they do but I do what I feel comfortable with and it helped my life a lot.

Also, don't be too hard on yourself, having a high maintenance kid is not easy and takes a lot out of you, you just have to work with your child's personality to be able to to more about your day to day work.But just take one little thing at a time and be happy you were able to do that.

good luck!

Advice that saved my sanity ---"Lower your Standards!!!!!"
I know that sounds wierd, but the dishes and the dust will wait until you have half a second to get to them. Your son will grow up wayyyyyyy too fast. Give him the attention he needs, and enjoy each stage of thier lives. I think it was Erma Bombeck who wrote a poem about regrets, and getting the 'day to day grind' done wasn't on the list.

S. C
When I was home, time management was a challenge. For one, my children were always in the room with me with I was cleaning, cooking, and so on. When my children could see me and heard me talking to them while I was clean and such they would just listen and learn. When they were old enough I would let them help me our. When a child is the only one home they have the misconception that you have to spend all your time with them, they will soon learn that you are there and they can either follow you around or play with their toys. Exploration is also one of the things that begin at this age, enjoy their new found joys. Pick two or three times a day when you spend one-on-one time with your youngest boy and then do what you need to do between these times. When you find a routine that works for you, things will settle down. I do this to this day with my grandchildren and great grand children when they visit. When I was working, I would spend time with my children and clean AFTER they went down for the night. It worked for me. Good Luck.

Here it is again. Flylady.net. ITS FREE. She is great. I always said that I KNOW how to clean but I don't know how to keep it clean (well, picked up, really). But How do you actually CLEAN the stuff that never gets done: blinds, ceiling fans, drapes, I am pooped after making it so I can clean? She will help. I found out about her about a year ago from a mom asking the same thing as you. I checked out her responses and boy my life is way different. For the better.

What will matter most in 10 years... having a child who is strong and confident and knows that his mom enriched his life of having a spotless house? There are times that you must get things done... I always make sure the dishes are done and the dogs are fed and the laudry is done... other than that... its' when I get it done. If my hubby complains I show him where the stuff is and tell him to get crackin. At first I was trying to do it all... and when i realized that it just isn't possible because at some point you spend more time chasing after your toddler than you do cleaning house.. or you just feel like taking off and going to play at the park with him because it's much more fun... you just do it. So my house isn't royalty clean status, but it's clean enough to have someone drop by unexpectedly.... as long as they don't mind stepping over toys. :)

I've started doing my to-do lists a little differently. I type mine into the computer at night for the next day. As I work on something I turn the font to blue. When it's done, I turn it to green (I've done the same thing by highlighting it when I'm not on the computer). It makes me a little more efficient because I can see where my time has already been spent so I'm more likely to finish a task than to start a new one. More than anything though, it makes me feel better at the end of the day to see that even though I may not have crossed things off completely, I really did get stuff accomplished (at least partly)!

Good luck and thanks for asking the question! I'll definitely keep on eye on this thread to see if I can pick up any tips!

Hi S.,

You might try the website www.flylady.net. This website is full of great, helpful hints about being a better "home executive." I wish I had known about it when my kids were babies (they're 11 and 15 now)!

But, if the site isn't for you, I would simply encourage you to pick one thing a day that you want to accomplish it and do it. It could be as simple as taking a shower! As you get used to the accomplishment, add to your list...2 things a day, then three and so on. In no time, you'll find your personal success system and be on your way. Structure is the key.

For me personally, the one thing that got me organized was going back to work. I wound up going back to my classroom, unexpectedly, six weeks after my first son was born...with my son! Nothing taught organization faster than teaching 150 kids their US History and Economics while managing a 6-week old baby, in class, at the same time. We-the students, the baby, and I--were on the tightest, most effective schedule ever. I've never accomplished so much before or since.

But, that's extreme...I wouldn't recommend it. Flylady is much easier! <wink>

Good luck!
S.

Dear S.,

Kids come with very different temperments. If you have not "taught" your youngest that you come quickly, I don't see how it is much of a "habit". He just may really feel he needs mommy, or some sort of one-on-one interaction. (Little ones learn the most vocabulary and social skills this way anyhow)
My daughter did not play independently for long until she was 2. (Yep, it was tiring...but I kept her around close to me so she could see what I was doing most of the time. I did a lot of baby wearing too.) Some kids amuse themselves much earlier. I think it's luck.

Something that really helps me is www.flylady.net

Best of luck,
J.

Another flylady.net convert....I don't do everything she advises, although I SHOULD..but what I DO do, helps tremendously! Also, get a baby carrier, sling, backpack, baby bjorn...whichever works best, or go to the 2nd hand store, buy a used one of each & switch them up during the day, depending on your needs & what your baby likes. Your 4 yr can help some, you can make it a game to clean & straighten up. Your baby needs as much contact with you as possible, he won't care about what you are doing while he's riding along, just that he's there. And yes, lower your standards somewhat...your time with your kids is finite..housework, unfortunately--isn't.

My secret: routines, lists and delegating! And Flylady rocks.

Can you get him involved in your work? Ex: my kids started to get "chores" at about 9 months old. I would just give the little one a wet washcloth and have one myslef and show them how to wipe down walls and cabinets at frist. at 12 months they start likeing to sort things so we sart sorting silverwear. sure the first few times it was hard for them but after the first week, I haven't needed to help. Sure they are slow but it is so worth it having them be busy while I do the rest of the dishes undisturbed.