I need help getting my 2 year old (28 months)to go to the potty. She was doing well in the beginning. We were actually impressed at how well she was doing. Then one evening as I was putting my 1 year old to bed, my 2 year old decided to go to the potty all on her own. She has one for her size. As her norm, when she was finished, she called for us to come and help her wipe and dispose of her potty. Well since I was with our other child, I called out to my husband to check on her. Well, he doesn't realize that he has to have tack when dealing with a newbie at training and yells out in disgust of what he finds in her potty. She had pooped all on her own without any fear that I hear many children have when it comes to the #2. When I hear my husbands sounds of disgust, I rush to calm him and praise my daughter. Alas, it was too late, the damage had been done. She had been frightened by her daddy's response and to this day, will not sit on the potty. When I have forced her to sit on it when she awakens in the morning, she will not go until I put a diaper or pull up on her. I don't want to make it worse, but she had come so far to just let it go. Any advice? E.
I dont know anything about potty training. I do, however, know about men.
Do me a favor and knock him up-side the head!!!! :)
Good Luck to you!!!
Margaret:)
With my daughter we used a reward system. She would get a sticker everytime she pooped and then when she had 5 stickers she could get a toy. With my son he likes to read his potty book on the potty and it takes his mind off of it so he doen't relize hes pooping. My aunt put a potty in the living room so her grandson would get comfortable with it and just let him sit on it regularly and once again he was so distracted by the TV he didn't realize what he was doing. Just a few suggestions, hopefully they help.
Wait until she is three...much easier and less stressful on both of you! She will be more physically capable and more mentally ready.
I like Mel's answer. Give her a little bit to recover from beng scarred, and buy the pull ups and then tell her that you don't have any more diapers and that all the store are out or something and that its time to go to in the potty again. I can understand your frustration my son is 2 (27mths) and we just started trying to potty train him he will go and flush our toilet for us watch us and sits on his own potty but won't go. Then he got sick this week and started have really nasty potty so I had to delay my trainning. But you definetley need to address this with your husband, maybe have him take her in there and him show her "see i'm not scarred sorry i yelled". Good luck!
I think your husband needs to be the one to tell her he is sorry for reacting in an inappropriate manner and that he would be glad to help her with going potty again. Maybe this would calm her fears.
Let it go and start all over again. Put pull ups on her at night, panties during the day and let her guide you.
Smack your husband (LOL) Just kidding! And just keep up with the praise when she does go on her own.
Sounds simple, I know, but I have a 3 year old who won't go number 2 on the potty, so I know it can be frustrating at times! Hang in there!!!
my son is going through the same. I may seem weird but bring her with you , when you go and she may reAlize that everybody is the same. my husband did it to my son now he see that what used to scare him... He can now be brave and get rid of it by flushing it away. MY nice who is now 7 (8 in june ) , and my two nephews ( 4 and 5) went through the same thing and it help to have some one older and even more of the same sex to show her that she is o.K., It will take time just like when you first started potty training but you will see that it is well worth it. MY SON DOESN'T WANT TO USE HIS POTTY CHAIR SINCE WE STARTED DOING THIS FOR HIM. hE WANT TO USE THE REAL ONE INSTEAD.
I am a nanny, plenty of experience with this. Instead of forcing her to potty, allow her to work with her own schedule..but still praise her when she tells you she pottied. Some children revert back to being "baby" when they go thru something that bothers them. Your husband should be the one to tell her how grown up she has become and he needs to follow up on this with a constant "praise of growing up"..Let her decide when to grow up, she will go back and forth for a few times..:)
Sometimes the best thing to do is to "let it go". My little one had started out well when he was just over 2 yrs old then had a setback. After much frustration on both his and our part I decided to take the advice of stop pushing and let it happen. So I stopped "pushing" which lessened the frustration my hubby and I had, as well as the frustration level of my little guy. After maybe a couple of months of letting him be a "baby" he started cooperating, and trying. I then sweetened the deal by telling him that when he could keep his diaper dry that I would let him pick out big boy pants. We then transitioned to part of the day in big boy underpants and the other part of the day in diapers. What seemed to finally do the trick was vinyl training pants w/cloth lining (you can find them at Target). When he would have an accident they made more of an impact on him than wearing big boy underpants, and certainly more than pullups (big waste of money). Within a week of the vinyl training pants he was dry all day, and within a month he is sleeping in big boys pants and is largely accident free at night.
Remember your daughter is in her terrible twos, so setbacks are to be expected. Rather than play the typical 2 yr old's game of who can be the most stubborn, just take a step back and let her know that it's ok to be a baby, and that as soon as she wants to be a big girl you will be there to cheer her on!! As for the hubby remind him to at least use tact if he doesn't want to act happy when dealing with potty runs. Hope this helps. Best of luck!!
I'm sorry I don't have advise but you made me laugh!!! I would try again in a couple of weeks. You can have 5 pull ups and tell her when she is down to the last one it's time to go on the potty again. It worked for my daughter!!
First of all just wanted to say way to go on having your two year old almost potty trained! A lot of toddlers don't catch on until later, so you and your little one have done great!! I went through the same type thing, even went to the doctor with the problem, and the answer...when she or he is ready it will happen. I did use the Bear in the Big Blue House Potty Time VHS...my kids loved it! And don't forget praise praise praise, you and your husband!!! Just takes time.....V. mother of three
Oh E. ~ men can be like bulls in a china shop, can't they?
The same thing happened to a friend of mine and her daughter went on to retaining her bowel movements for days and it became a psychological problem.
Perhaps you can try to reward her with something saying that if she does a poo in the potty, you will give her this or that (bribery!) to try to undo some of the damage.
When you change your baby, call your daughter over to see the poo and try to explain that's it not poofy or dirty...
and ask her to "show" the baby how to poo on the potty...even hold baby on the potty and make a game out of it to make it fun.
Funnily enough I had an 11 mth old who trained herself on the potty to my amazement and then we moved to a different county and that was that. She refused to use the potty again for months and months.
It seems to be a very delicate thing when they achieve potty training.
I am so sorry to hear about the mis-hap in the bathroom. Your daughter must be devistated. Poor thing!. Well, I had a lot of sucess with potty training very early with both children and we had a lot of fun doing it. Lets see if I can give you any advice from years ago when I trained mine. I have a 7 yr old and a 5 yr old. But some things never change like potty training.
First of all I would go to the library and take out a book on potty training for kids. Not for you but to read to your daughter. I remember I had one for my kids, and it was really cute. Take some time off of training him while you are getting all of the equiptment needed. Give her a week or so to recover!
Second, I would buy the doll that you can feed a bottle to and the doll pees in the potty. You all clap and make up a potty song. Silly I know but it worked for me. I would do this silly "Pee Pee on the Potty, Pee Pee on the Potty", silly dance which would make my kids laugh and smile. I made it a light deal with lots of sillyness. I danced like the congo line in a cheesy movie. They loved it.
Third, find a reward system. I hate giving my kids candy, but I would first give the dolly and my Daughter m&m's after the dolly would go pee, give the dolly lots of praise, then do that silly dance, and make it all a positive deal. I know you had been positive, I can tell by your sensitivity to her and how quick you ran into the bathroom. God bless you.
Lastly I would like to say, don't worry, she'll be out of diapers before you know it. Then she'll be turning 7 just like mine. Best luck and best wishes. I think the doll can be bought at Target or toy's r us. Good luck.
Hope all is well in the bathroom soon.
Deb
Hi E.,
My kids are out of the house now, but are young enough to have had the luxury of disposable diapers in their earlier days! So.......... there is one thing that comes to mind.
They did not have "pull ups" then so we never had to gear back to an almost diaper. Seems to me even though the pull ups are convenient, they might send a mixed message to some kids. A little trick I used to use is based on car rides or travel. After they are out of the diaper, or you are "testing the waters" safeguard your carseat (Car). Lift up the pad in the carseat, and place an opened diaper under the pad, with the absorbant side up. Anytime you notice the child has had an ooops, take the pad off, wash it and replace the wet diaper with a new one. It is a wonder how much liquid comes from our wee ones!
This helps, as they don't know that it is there, and may actually wait til you get home, if they are old enough to realize what waiting is.
So, not too much help on the actual potty training thing, but maybe this will help since travel is such a big part of what folks do these day!
~ laur
Two ideas... There's a great book that I would read to my son (which we always read at bedtime) during his potty training stages. The book is titled "Once Upon a Potty" and there are two versions... one for girls and one for boys. Also... do you take your child into the bathroom with you when you go potty? I found that when I would take my son in and let him see me go poo and then I'd wipe (discreetly so he wouldn't see my privates) and then we'd make a big deal about the poo in the potty and I'd let him flush the potty bye=bye. Sounds a little silly... but whatever it takes! Good luck!
Have you tried giving her a small reward when she goes on the potty like a few m&m's. I babysit a two year old I just helped potty train. This is what we did to get her started. She would tee tee but would do the other in her pantys I told this was not good and promised her a trip to the dollar store to get a prize when she did all on the potty. It worked. D.
Oh I totally understand although it was my dad who scarred my son out of using the potty. He was doing great and then my dad came to visit and LAUGHED at the noises my son was making while using the potty. It hurt his feelings and then there was no more potty for a month to six weeks.
I went back to diapers and started all over again when my son seemed to be over it.
Good luck!! and {{{{hugs}}}}
