I have a 20 month old little boy and a 5 1/2 year old little girl. My son is a handful and a half. We cannot go out to dinner anymore like we use to when it was just our daughter, we can't even go into the grocery store as soon as we walk in somewhere he starts this very high pitched scream and does not stop for anything. He wants everything that my daughter has or does. The "time out" is not working for us all that well he will fight you to no end when we try to put him in the corner. Does anyone have any other advice they can give me on this matter...
its a phase that will pass - in the meantime, dont take him with you.... or be prepared with a snack and aa toy to deflect the situation... at 24month, fred meyer will let him go into the playroom.... try that.... its a phase.
wanting everything his sister does or has in normal. You can try to mediate by watching for signs that he's going after her by stopping and redirecting him. It's not too early to start teaching about sharing. Your daughter will benefit from that too.
As to screaming and being out of control in a restaurant as well as at home may be caused by him being more sensitive to chaos and noise. If he is tired or hungry it will be even more difficult for him to control himself or allow you to control him.
I haven't been able to take my grandson to the store or to eat out since he began walking. I tried but decided it's not worth it. My granddaughter, who is older, has nearly always been manageable in those situations. Both are high strung, willful children but it seems that my granddaughter is better able to to respond to direction.
I'm not suggesting that your son has a physical and/or mental condition that causes him to be this way. He's probably just more sensitive to sound and movement than the average kid or you haven't found a way that works to help him calm down. However, it's possible that he may need some professional help. We learned that my grandson has speech apraxia (unable to talk in the usual manner). They think this is related to an inadequate connection between his brain and his mouth. We think he gets so angry in some situations as a result of this difficulty. It is also possible that something else is going on with him. Such as broad spectrum autism disorder. Even with the help of professional people in this field we still do not know what is actually going on with him.
If your son is meeting the usual developmental mile stones than I would focus on learning skills to help him adjust but if he's behind in any of them, expecially speech, I'd recommend that you get a professional evalutation. I think speech and motor development are two main signs of a disorder.
We thought my grandson was just speech delayed and waited until he was nearly 3 before getting help. The school district has a program for children up to the age of 3 during which they get in home help. After age 3 one has to take them to a preschool setting and the help is less intensive.
Again I don't know enough about your son to know if he needs professional help. I'm giving you this information because I wish we'd had it earlier. Your son is probably just more sensitive to noise and change. I've read about children who are and are helped by changing the way in which parents do things such as when they go to the grocery store or restaurant.
I know how frustrating it is when one's child acts out in such a loud way and won't be calmed.
does he talkyet?maybe he is having a hard time communicating?
The best advice I've seen on this type of behavior is in a Love & Logic class... See if you can find one. Sometimes they offer it at the local schools or churches. There are Love & Logic books out there too. Also, I LOVE watching Supernanny. She has some great practical tools for tantrums. I think she (Jo Frost) has a book out too.
The best thing to do when your kid throws a tantrum is to "remove the audience" - at a store that means you've got to leave immediately (even if you've got a cart full of groceries) because all the people staring just fuels the tantrum even more. Unfortunately that inconveniences you as well, because you'll have to go back to the store later. Calmly let your child know that there is no possible way for them to get what they want if they scream and throw a fit - and stick to it! Being consistent is the key to success. I have 3 kids and when they do throw a fit (not often since I've been using this technique) I take them to their room and tell them that when they calm down I will come and talk to them. If they are really out of control and keep trying to come out, I will calmly pick them up and put them on their bed (folding their feet away from me so they can't kick) and tell them again that when they calm down I will come and talk. Sometimes I lock the door if they won't stay on the bed. They're used to it now so they calm down pretty fast. Sometimes they'll even calm down on the way upstairs, but I still tell them they need some quiet time to think about whether or not that was a good choice to react that way. When I talk to them, I ask them if it was a good choice to throw a fit. (The first few times, I had to prompt them to say "No Mama".) Then I would tell them some appropriate ways to react to the situation, like saying "Oh man!" or "Bummer, I really wanted to do that" or "Oh well, maybe we can get that for my birthday." Then we practice taking a deep breath together to get our emotions under control, and I always give them a hug for calming down and understanding why it's not okay to scream and yell like that. I know this is very long, but I hope it helps!
