Help with My 2 Going on 25 Yr Old.....

There is an excellent book called Making the Terrible Twos TErrific, by John Rosemond. It's worth it's weight in gold, and will explain why two year olds act the way they do (like the own the world), and help you to get him on track. What he says really works, if you actually do it. Also, there's another book called Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, by Azrin. It really works, too, in less than a day, but the child needs to be cooperative first, so the first book would need to be implemented first. You can find both on amazon.

Hi H.,

I highly recommend "How to Make the Terrible Two's Terrific" by John Rosemond. My son will be 3 in August, and we also have a 1 1/2 year old... so they're both in the "terrible two's" stage! This book helped tremendously!! Good luck!

D.

my doctors daughter that sees her for adhd recommended a book called 1 2 3 magic its great. when reading it i was like ya right that wont work but it did! its also on dvd if you dont have time to sit and read a book

My favorite child advice comes from Dr. Rosemond. He writes books and also free columns that you can find in your newspaper or online. He stresses accountability -- the child has to learn that there will be consequences, they are accountable for their actions. Good luck, I have a 2-year-old too.

It's ironic that you are asking this question. I have a 17-month-old and a 3 week-old. My 17 month-old has always been very easy, but recently he has been tantrumming more and just being overall difficult. My husband and I were looking for the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. Our new little guy has been a bit more challenging in the fussy department than our first baby boy. We didn't find that book, but we found "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" instead. I have already thumbed through it and can tell it is going to be very helpful. So although I haven't read much, I think it's going to be a good one. You may want to check it out.
Good luck!
-K.

I have worked at a preschool for 9 years and have a 26 yr old who was a preemie. His cognitive level is a 3 to 4 yr old, so I've lived with that age a long time. A very smart special ed teacher taught me a great way to change behavior. What does your son value the most??? Is there a Thomas the Train or dinosaur or a video? When my son finally had a favorite something (red ball and the newspaper), I told him that I would take it away. No discussion just take it away. I was very calm and did it everytime. No emotion should be showed. Make a list of behaviors and start with the most harmful (like breaking things when angry). When you conquer a behavior, you move to the next behavior. Oh...also my son is a red-head too.

Warning....I have heard that the kids who don't have the terrible twos go through horrible 3's.

Hi H.,
I feel for you as my oldest daughter was and still is very hard to handle at times. In our other home she practically peed in every room of the house! She is 8 now but still strong willed. I have 2 book suggestions that may help. The first one is The Strong Willed Child by Dr Dobson-really helpful book and his other books are wonderful to check out as well (Dare to Discipline). The other I can't remember the exact title but it's a book written by the Super Nanny and it's a fast read and will also help you with the time out technique. The Super Nanny show is great to watch, there's always something to learn. I do want to mention though that the time out technique will work if you follow through on it every singe time. If you start to get tired and say just forget it, you might as well not do it at all. If you and your hubby work together as a team like take turns when it starts getting rough it's so worth it. Good Luck!

well, as a redhead :) - we are a difficult bunch. But i read that you're not much of a disciplinarian, but you need to be. Kids like us actually WANT structure. He is pushing the limits to see where he needs to stop. He probably feels out of control because he doesn't know where the boundaries are. If you think about it, not knowing boundaries is scary - you don't know where danger is, you don't know where trouble will start, you don't know when things will change. If you give a kid structure, they KNOW where to stop before danger comes.

He seems like he's running around and having fun, but he's actually thinking "Ok, what do i have to do to get a rise out of her. How far can i go before mom really notices me" So breaking a dish or something is his way of getting your attention "mom, if I do this, is that far enough for me to push?" so if you stop him and give him a strong signal that breaking things is too far, then he will think "Ok, so i know that i can go so far as breakingthings, but that's where it stops." otherwise, he'll keep looking for that one step further.

If you wait too long, he won't understand why you're all of a suddent punishing him for things he's been doing all along.

Punishment doesn't necessarily mean spanking, if that's what you have a aversion to. We "pop" once on the leg with our almost three year old. We only use that for blatant disrespect or something dangerous so that he knows, if we pop him, he better not EVER do that again. If it's a minor infraction (throwing a toy, not taking care of things, running in the house, etc) something that is not disrespectful to us or dangerous, he gets the time out or the toy taken away for the rest of the day.

Different kids need different punishments, but it's all about giving him a sense of what is safe and OK. Boundaries aren't restrictions or punishments, they create a "Safe place". It's like the railing on a cliff. within that railing, we feel like it's ok to walk around and look at what we want to look at and do what we want to do, but if we go beyond that railing, we're definately going to regret it :)

Good luck --- sorry for the novel :)

There's a book called "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel (you'll remember her as Blair from "Facts of Life"!). Great ideas, and when you let God and His Word get involved you'll find your own attitude mellowing out! You'll begin to see his behavior as a way to teach principles instead of a screaming match!