Help with Hitting - Saint Louis,MO

Hi C.,

I realize being austic - it may take different ways to stop the hitting, do you try "time-out" and tell him why? Does certain things set him off? Overstimulated/tired? Do you take any food or something special away/remind him why to let him know what you want from him? Since I don't know the extent of his austism, if possible try to trace what sets this behavior off. Is it something he wants/scared?

I know it can be very frustrating. Hang in there. Best Wishes!

You might check out The Thompson Center in Columbia, MO. I know it's a haul for you. It is for us too, but it is worth it! The autism specialist, neurologist, genetesist (sp?), and staff are all wonderful. We got in there almost right away with a referal from our family practioner and help from our First Steps providers. You might be able to get some kind of referal from the school system as well. What would have taken atleast several months, only took a few for us. Hope this helps!

C....you are a wonder woman! My hat off to you for being able to stay at home & take care of eight children. I hate to say it but if your child realizes NOT to hit those outside of the home them those that the child hit..need to hit back, so that the child 1) know's that it's wrong, 2) how it feels & 3) hopefully see that in your home not supose to hit anyone. Then you go back to a home that doesn't hit:-). Good luck & God Bless!

I have a stepson who is also autistic. When he was younger he had a tendancy to hit, pinch or bite himself. When ever we noticed these behaviors we mad him sit on his hands or put his hands in his lap with a pillow over them and would the pillow there for a few minutes until he calmed down. Autistic kids need constant stimulation and hitting is his stim. But applying proprioceptive pressure on the pillow also gives him that stimulation. Try it and let me know. We have read so many books and talked to so many therapists and they are all having different views but this seems to work.
Good luck and please know you are not alone.
Y.

C.,
Are you aware of the state of Illinois Autism Project? They provide some great in-depth services to families of children with autism, including doing observations and coming up with strategies to address problems.
If you are interested, you can call the F.A.C.E.S. program in Edwardsville and they can get you the information. Their number is ###-###-####.
M. Anne

C.,
I know the challenges of trying to understand children and their actions especially when they have special needs. I am a pre-school special ed teacher and I have had success with autistic children with some visual cues. I am not sure how verbal your child is. Sometimes when kids can't use their words to express what they want or need they will react in a physical manner. Maybe your son may need some visual to help communicate. 1st of all are you in contact with your local school district? Your child has the right to services through your district. They can be a huge help to you and your family. some schools even have programs for your other typical children to help them cope with a sibling with different abilities.

I had a child last year in my class that was completly non verbal and he was a big hitter. I used two pictures to help him understand when he did that behavior. A pic of a child's fist and a pic of a chair. I would tell him "you hit you sit" and pull him to the chair everytime he hit or attempted to his someone. Also a story that you create just for him may help too. They are called social stories and we use them alll the time at school. They can be written very simply on paper and stapled together with a couple of stick figure pictures to show the actions.

Good luck.

You don't say how old he is, but maybe time out away from others, even if you sit with him. Have you gone to any support groups? How educated are you in Autism? there is much to read online, and new research results.

In my experiece the best way to stop a behavior in children (and adults with autism is to ignore it. Hard to do when you are being hit, slapped pinched etc! Your son is unable to communicate something and is using hiting to elicit a reaction. Chances are it's working. Teach family members how to protect themselves and to learn to anticipate the hits, to remain calm and to not "react" to the hit. Ilimating the current behavior is only half of the solution you must also teach him an appropriate way to get the attention that he is needing. (ie. use your words, say I am angry.) If you would like to email me with more of the specifics I would be glad to offer some more specific solutions based on my experience as a behavioral therapist and QMRP. Also, the Judive center for autism may be able to offer you some assistance if you haven't tried yet. I worked there during College and they seem to have pretty good people and are definatly dedicated to your cause.

I don't believe in hitting back. That is like justifying that hitting is ok. When you see him hit, grab his hand, tell him very sternly and straight in the eye, NO and remove him from the situation. This has worked for me with my child that used to bite. Hope this helps.

C.,

My oldest son (age 14 1/2) has Asperger's Syndrome, high-functioning Autism. As a toddler, he used to bite anyone he could literally sink his teeth into, lol! Thing I didn't realize at the time was, he was doing it because he lacked appropriate communication skills. Next time your son hits, stop him and teach him the proper way to communicate his needs. For instance, if he bites one of your other kids because they won't give him a toy, tell him, "That's not the way to ask for a toy." Then SHOW him the appropriate way to ask for it. Autistic kids really have to be shown the way to do many things, especially those related to communication and social skills. I'd suggest you do lots of role-playing with him and do it often, because he'll need the repetiveness in order to learn it. Keep in mind, you can't just tell him, you have to show him.

Hope this helps,
K. (in KS)

I have several friends who autistic children. It is a very common issue. What type of autistism does he have? It takes a lot of patience and consistency. They become very strong in this aspect. He is acting out when he wants something and not getting his way. First, try rewarding him when things does not go his way. Remember, you are in charge, not him. I would go to one of the autistic websites and join it to talk to other parents who have experienced this. Meds may also be needed for a short time period. Remember it is a habit and it takes 20 days to break a habit or longer. If you got him on meds and it works, then do it. I hope you are taking him to a neurologist who specializes in Autism.

My youngest hit everyone so much that I would use all my energy restraining him. I took him to the doctor and he simply told me it's hard to be a parent. I said this is my 6th kid and there's something wrong with him and I'm not leaving until we figure something out. He's been on a very low dose of prozac ever since. It doesn't make him perfect, but now he thinks about other options before hitting. Good luck! We love them so much. Also take some minutes for yourself to recharge. Lock the bathroom door when you shower. Watch tv all by yourself after they all go to bed. Go to a Mary Kay meeting. You wouldn't believe how fun it is to be around some positive energy and grown ups!