Help with Birthday Invites

I guess I can see both sides of this. I can understand that you would like it to be just family, however, before my husband and I got married I was the "new friend" and purposefully "not" invited to a family function. It quite honestly did not make me feel very welcome and now we are married and I am "NOT" close to my in-laws at all. This new friend may end up being your sister-in-law someday. I guess I am also just not sure why you would oblect so strongly to her being there? If it is a cost thing then ask your brother if he could pay for her meal...but if it is something else, maybe it is your brother that you have issues with and not her? Or is it issues with Mom? I am just not sure why it would be such a big deal? My mother-in-law before we were married would not have me in family pictures even though we were living together - sometimes a gesture as small as not inviting her can cause years of issues. I would reconsider...Just food for thought.

Hi K.,

Is anyone else in your immediate family dating? And if so, are they bringing their respective "significant others"? And are spouses of your immediate family allowed to attend this birthday lunch? If you have other people in your family that will be attending and they are bringing a significant other, then I think it's rude not to invite your brother's new friend. Why are you particularly singling her out on this?

Otherwise, you most likely will piss people off and you just have to deal with it, as do they. You can't please eevryone.

-Char

Ha!!... I can definately see both sides. I can understand why he would want to invite her, besides it's a public less formal place at a resturaunt, not in your home, and maybe he's excited to have the opportunity to introduce her to the family. I'm sure if she comes, it won't be that bad, it may even be fun to get to know her. Sometimes it's worth it to bite the bullet in order to create a warm and happy atmosphere in these types of situations.

On the other side, my future sil really wanted her boyfriend to be in our wedding pics with the family. Well, they broke up a year later and she's remarried now and it's just weird.

If you want to bend this once, that's fine... but I see your point about it ALWAYS being an issue with uninvited guests. If that's the case, then maybe putting your foot down this time will be a big hint top everyone that you are sick of it. (In my experiance with my inlaws though... they don't get big hints).

Also, some people are more relaxed about bringing guests. Just wait till you start having birthday parties when your kiddo is over and the children you invite bring their siblings and parents and everyone else! Sad to say... it never stops!

Just try to relax and enjoy what this day is whatever you decide, the celebration of the first year of your little one.

I'd just be frank and say... well, if you want to have something for the family and invite her, I'd love to meet her but for this, I'm just inviting who we want there ..and leave it at that... my ex MIL was the SAME WAY... drove me nuts! :)