Help with 19 Month Old Drinking 8 Bottles a Night and Not Sleeping Alone

Hi A.. I know it's hard to tell kids no (I have two young boys of my own). The only thing is, you have to. It's not good for his teeth to be drinking milk or juice right before he goes to bed, or in the middle of the night like that. It stays on his teeth and rots them. It's also not good for them to be on a bottle after 12 months. Anyway, I know that's what you were asking, sorry.
Just tell him no. He's going to cry, cry and cry some more, but once you've made a decision you have to stick with it. Be strong. He'll be grateful for it later. Just tell him no and don't back down. Just put him in his room and tell him, "It's bed time. Go to sleep you can have something to drink in the morning." It should only take a few days to break the habit. If he still needs something for "comfort" then get him a stuffed dog or something. My 3 1/2 had a blanket until he was 3 he took EVERYWHERE!!! He still sleeps with it! LOL
Anyway, whatever you do decided to do, be firm and don't back down. Good luck!!!

As mentioned before, all juices have sugar in it, even the "no sugar added" varieties. There is still naturally occurring sugars in everything. Any carb has sugar in it, intrinsically. Milk too. If you look at ingredient labels, anything with "ose" at the end has sugar in it (ie: fructose, glucose, sucrose etc.) Also, corn syrup, which is a popular ingredient in many foods, has tons of sugars in it and is not a healthy additive flavoring. In any case, its not easy to avoid all sugars... to a certain extent, the brain needs "sugar" as fuel and the body too. Its the excess sugar in the diet which is unhealthy or lead to diabetes. For me personally, there is no reason to "have to" give a child juice or juice drinks. They can get the nutritional values from fruit itself, plus the fiber. It's a personal choice.... for us, we just give our child milk or water. Sometimes fresh squeezed juice. Sometimes. But fruit is what we try to have them eat. Or veggie juice drinks, or home-made smoothies without the added sugar. Not soft drinks though. If a child is given diluted juices... that's a good option. It's just a "habit" that we "give" our children. Of course everyone likes juice. It's not evil. It's just the quantities, and not relying on it to placate them too much. For our younger child who is 1 yrs. old.. it's just water or milk. We are not introducing juice until he is older or asks. We give him a sippy cup of water for bed, in the crib to which he feeds himself should he wake up, and then he goes back to sleep.
That's just us. Everyone is different. They get the nutrition from foods. We use a sippy cup when he sleeps, just for the fact that it doesn't leak. Other than that he uses straw cups. Still have to wean him from the baby bottle though, before bed. But I'm not in a rush. During the night... a pacifier is what helps him go back to sleep. And a pat on the back, and his stuffed cow. I too, have to get him to go cold turkey with the milk bottle during the middle of the night wakings. But he only does that when very hungry. We all have different approaches. Good luck and let us know how it turns out!
~Susan

Do you think he may be ready for a little push into getting rid of the bottle at night? My 20 month old still wakes up in the middle of the night needing to nurse, and I have a 6 month old who I don't want woken up too, so I'm going through the same delima. I think when families have multiple children, the children are going to be born in the order they are for a reason. God will give them the ability they need to deal with learning quickly to let it go.
You said you sleep with your kids, so maybe instead of a bottle, you could cuddle with him to help him get back to sleep. What I did with my first child to night wean him at about 14 months was to cuddle with him and when he asked to nurse, I would say, "not right now, it's time to go night night, I love you" and I would wrap him up in my arms. At first, he wasn't having it, so I rolled over and said "well, I can't hold you if you are going to scream and throw a fit" and he would calm down and come cuddle up to my back.
I guess you should just try things untill you find something that works. Have you tried giving him water instead of milk and maybe not so much in the bottle? Hmmmm.....
I will be curious to know what you've tried since I am in a similar delima. I hope I helped even a little. Just remember, this is temporary, it won't be like this forever! I have to remind myself that sometimes when I feel like I'm loosing my mind! :)

Just letting you know- you are not alone... i also co sleep w/ my 22 month old and most of the time my 6 year old sneaks in with his blanket and sleeps on the floor. My 22 month old still has only milk bottles. She does eat and nap during the day.. but has to have her baba at night. Someday I will take it away but hopefully it wont be tramatic. It sounds like your 19 month wants to be like the new baby. I say... let him... its a big change for him. You got lots of good advice, i dont know the difference with their teeth of bottle, sippy cup, straw.... Sometimes I try massaging her gently on her legs or rubbing her cheeks after shes done with her bottle. Good luck

Hi, given your children's ages, I am guessing here that your son is feeling the need for some extra comfort after forfeiting his role as the only child and therefore the sole focus of mom and dad. Adjusting to a new sib can be difficult, especially for a little one who can not talk out his worries with his parents! My suggestion is to try to find some other ways to provide him some extra attention and comfort in order to reassure him of his special place in the family and in your heart.

S. Wolf
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Stop feeding your baby at night! You have trained him to wake up and eat...that the middle of the night is dinner and snack time. You are BOTH taking the easy way out - he doesn't want to eat during the day, you don't want to lose out on sleep.

Get him out of your room, if possible. When he wakes up, you are easy access, and that is why he will wake up the baby. Besides, most infants will sleep through noises like that.

Absolutely STOP feeding him juice and water. Juice has very little nutritional value and is high in a sugar called fructose. Fructose, esp. on an empty stomach, can cause a spike in insulin and, thus, a spike in blood sugar. The problem is that the pancreas can overcompensate by producing too much insulin in the blood stream, thus far too rapidly lowering blood sugar. We all know what that means, right?? New hunger WAY too soon! That is why simple sugars do not fill us up for long and leave us with low blood sugar! Plus, too much sugar causes gas!

Do not give him 2 8-oz. bottles at bedtime unless he is an anorexic baby who needs the nutrition. He is probably waking up with gas pains that he is mistaking for hunger pangs, bless his little baby heart.

Get rid of the bottle! He is too old for a bottle anyway. My son's last bottle was at 7-months-old. I introduced a sippy cup of water at 4-months-old. From 7 months on, he either got my boob or a sippy cup of breastmilk. Bottles can cause a lot of dependency, not to mention tooth decay. I shudder to think what will happen to your son's teeth, as I am gathering that you are not sending him back to bed after all these milk and juice bottles after brushing his teeth each time.

Things will get worse before they get better, but you need to pull a Super Nanny and let him tough it out for a week in a loving environment. Consider this: once babies reach about 5-months-old, they are physiologically able to go 8 hours at night without a feeding, so make him wait THAT long, at the minimum. If you are worried that you are not being loving enough without the baby feedings, then you can spend some special quality time playing with him and cuddling him, etc. during the day and at bedtime. Get a bedtime ritual that he can look forward to each night. Here is mine, as an example:

Dinner
Hot tub with daddy (conditions permitting)
Bath/shower with daddy
Diaper/pajamas
Brush teeth
Read 3 books (or more, depending on the time)
Gets on his bed
CD music turned on (Baby Einstein or Baby Genius classical lullabies)
Hugs
Kisses
Eskimo kisses
Butterfly kisses
Sniffies (in his ear)
Pinchies (tickles)
Blow kisses (fast and slow)
Night Night

In short, just say NO to night feedings. If he is hungry, he can wait for breakfast and learn to eat throughout the day. Feed him the diet of a toddler avoiding all simple sugars and juice...give him high protein, whole milk (or try whole Lactaid milk), good fats and complex carbs. Your pediatrician should be able to help you or refer you to a nutritionist.

You cannot be a good mom under these circumstances. I wish you the best. Do the hard work now, and you will be a better mom for it b/c you will be more rested, have more energy and, most importantly, you will set the stage for future limit-setting with your toddler. Trust me when I say...it will only get worse if you let your toddler run the show.

BTW, about me: I have 3 boys - ages almost 2, 11 and 13...so I have been through the toddler stage 3 times! I was also a social worker and parent educator for years before I became a SAHM. I have my degrees in Psychology and Education (Master's), but my kids have been my best educators, by far!

I agree with this is not good for his teeth and maybe that can be your motivation to try something different. I feel for you wanting to make sure there is something in his belly if he's an extremely picky eater, but as long as he is getting all the milk he wants, he will keep asking for it. Try diluting it down every night until it's all water, if anything at all and talk to your doctor about an iron supplement (but only take it if absolutely necessary because that can effect the teeth too.) I worked for a pediatric dentist for 9 years and many parents would come in under the impression the "baby teeth" didn't matter because they would "fall out" soon. Soon is at ages 5 to 12 so, they need those baby teeth in there for speech development and bone growth. The other thing is anything that happens to the baby teeth, be it an injury or decay, can effect the permanent teeth. Bottle rot decay is very common still and you can do everything you can to prevent it by brushing his teeth 3 times a day and until you get this milk/juice at night thing curtailed, I would add wiping down his teeth and gums with a wet washcloth every time you change his diaper during the night (or every time he has a bottle.) Have you tried offering him a sippy cup in the daytime? I wish I had more advice over what would fix the problem. Hopefully soon he'll catch on to all the "He's the big brother and the big boy" talk. You'll all get a better nights sleep if something drastically changes. It will probably get WAY worse before it gets better so be prepared for a battle of the wits, but if you're strong it will just be temporary. Hopefully, you can find a food he really likes. He could be regressing a little because of the baby. He sees the baby have so many bottles and he could be a little jealous. I've read some mothers have their baby's ready to get off the bottle "give" their bottles to another baby. Literally have him put them all in a bag and try to have him "give" them away when he's ready."

All fruit & fruit juice has natural sugar in it--it's called fructose. Milk has natural sugars on it also. Not only can going to sleep on a bottle destroy a child's teeth, but I have a nephew who had permanent ear problems as a result of going to sleep with a bottle of milk. He's 14 and deaf in one ear. Either way--a good idea to go cold turkey. Good luck, Mom! I'll think good thoughts for you.

Hi A.,
well i have a 20 month old whom just stopped that. It was 4 bottles a night. It was crazy. I actually went and bought the 4 ounce bottles to cut down on them and i made two milk and two water. I would attemp the water first and then i had a milk one just incase. Well it worked. He went straight to water ( even though he wont drink it awake. And now hes weaned off. Its being consistant and slowly. All it is ,is a bad habbit. I run a fan in my room its called white noise. It blocks out noise which would wake him up and remind him he wanted a bottle. I make sure he is very comfortable. I use a play pen for his bed its very comfortable for him. He can move around and the mesh protects him if he turns around. I hope it helps. This worked for me.

A.,

I will tell you what my mom and doctor told me when my boy was little. Sometimes you just have to let them cry. If he is only looking for comfort, and you give in to him everytime he wakes up, then it will continue for as long as you allow it. What does he do if you deny him the bottle and just snuggle him in and say "go back to sleep"? There comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. It's tough (I would cry like a baby when I had to do it to my boy who is now 14) but worth it in the end. Talk to your doctor about how long is OK to let them cry. Good luck!

I agree with Georgia's response. And all I have to say is that you have to with your child what you would expect from any other normally functioning human being - - no more bottles, 3 square meals a day, a balance of milk, water, and juice, a sensible snack, an hour to 2 hour nap per day, a resaonable bed time and a reasonable wake up time with NO interuptions. You have to expect it, and you have to DEMAND it. You are the parent, you are in charge, and it is time to take control of your lives for the sake of your children and your sanity. NO MORE BOTTLES. NO MORE FLUIDS PAST BED TIME. NO MORE CATERING TO THIS CHILD ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT...NO MATTER WHAT!!! you will be sorry if you don't nip it in the bud and do it cold turkey. There may be some nights of screaming and crying and suffering...but it won't be forever. However, it will be if you don't quit this behavior. good luck.

Hi A.,

Couple suggestions:
You might want to avoid the juice in the night. Even diluted as much as you are, you're still giving your child sugar. Sugar will keep him wired and also is very bad for their teeth - especially if you're allowing him to fall asleep immediately after without brushing.
I know that you don't want to wake the youngest, but sometimes crying is a better option than over feeding/over stimulating. Once your son realizes that he is not going to get that bottle (ofcourse he"ll be upset) he may just cry himself to sleep.
Does he nap during the day? Have you tried keep him up all day long - No Napping?
Has your doctor mentioned that your child should only be gettin 16 - 20 oz of dairy per day?
Good Luck!

A.,

I'm so sorry that you are going through such a tough time with your son. I can imagine that you would be exhausted even with a good night's sleep so getting up so frequently must be extremely difficult. I am certainly not a doctor and only have one daughter- 16 months old- so you have more experience than I do. I know that your doctor said that it is a comfort thing, which did cross my mind as I was reading it; however, what does your mama instinct tell you? Do you think it is a comfort thing? Does he nap during the day? If so, does he need a bottle then? Do you like your doctor and trust him? Do you think there could be any kind of medical issue around it? Do you have any friends that are physicians that you could ask? I would definitely do some research before I game up with a game plan...

Good luck to you all!
K.

How long are you planning on co-sleeping? Does he have his own room/crib? If so, maybe try transitioning him into (or back into) his room first. then once he has a good sleeping pattern in his own space take him off the bottle. As far as getting rid of any kind of comfort item, there's one of two ways (I'm sure you know already) either cold turkey or slowly cut down until it's gone. It just depends on what kind of temperament he has and what you think will work best. But I definitely think that if he has his own room, get him in to it and get him comfortable there. He actually has TWO forms of comfort at night. Mommy & bottle. So it's not just the bottle you have to break! I co-slept with my kids until they were about 5-6 months (around the same time I stopped breastfeeding) and transitioned them into their own rooms and beds. My daughter was very easy to transition. My son had sleeping issues from day one, but I wanted to be consistent and it finally paid off at around his first birthday when he started sleeping through the night with out a bottle. But at 19 moths my son still has his paci, and I have NO clue how were going to get him to give up that comfort. So I know what you are going through! Good luck!