HELP Strong Willed and Independant 6 Year Old

My 7 year old seems to be like your daughter. In a nutshell, he will do anything to get his way -- although he is not destructive or physically violent. He is just very manipulative. We have worked with a therapist and he said that it is a power struggle due to the inconsistancies with the parenting level between my husband and me (I'm very strict, my husband is not). We were told to have a sit down serious talk with our son about what we expect of him and that we are implimenting a one-time rule -- if you disobey after one warning, you are grounded, have extra chores, or punished in some form. Let me tell you -- the first two weeks is awful following through with the threats, but it was the empty threats that got us to this point. However now, he is back to his charming self -- he still tests is power level every now and then, but we now know how to nip it back into shape. Hope this helps.... if you want more info, email me at ____@____.com.

Oh boy do I feel your pain. Although my 6 year old has yet to have the courage to go out on her own, it is clear that she thinks she is the boss at times. However, cutting the whiskers off of the cat is a bit more mean on her part than I would expect of a head strong 6 year old. My daughter is very sassy, and we have our share of battles, but she still has a little fear of me left in her somewhere. I hate to ever compare kids, or make decisions based on a few situations, but it sounds like you guys might need alittle outside help. And,it might be best not to leave her with the uncle for a while, as she seems to think she can lie to him the most. Or, set the standard rule that if he is home with her, she is not allowed to leave the house, ever. Realisticly though, if it is not this issue, she will create resistance to something else, so again, I might ask for some or something, if for no other reason, to ensure that nothing is going on with her that you are unaware of. Even an underlying fear that she cant explain due to the dog bite could be causing her to react negatively! I am sure it is soo hard, and on some level I feel for you, so I wish you the best of luck! ~A.~

Why would her friends parents not make sure she made it home safely? I thinks she is too young to be running around the neighborhood by herself. I have a 6yr old and he doesnt go anywhere without an adult or older sibling.

You mention that this is all lately. Has she talked to the school counselor at all for the dog bite incident? Is this strong willed, independent behavior something new since the dog bites?

This may be her way of dealing with the trauma of the attack. I would definitely suggest finding someone for her to talk to.

Good luck!

I would not allow her to walk from house to house anymore. Although you are secure w/ your neighbors and watch her walk there maybe it's too much freedom for her? She's taking advantage(unconsiously) of the freedom your giving her. She thinks she's a big girl to be able to walk there "on her own" so she sees nothing wrong w/ wandering to the next neighbors.

I'd get w/ your neighbors and rally to change the neighborhood process of escorting to each house. You can never be too safe! My son is 5 and his best friend lives right next door. We too have allowed him to run from house to house w/ his friends mom and me both outside. I'm glad you were so candid w/ your post so we can make the change too.

GoodLuck!
S.