Help Other Parents Judgement

You need to call DHS immediatly. It is actually illegal not to. They can deal with the situation then you won't have to worry about what to do. This is a serious situation!!

Seriously? You know that a registered sex offender is living in a home with children and has "messed with" one of them but you don't know what to do? Contact the police immediately.

A.-- This is not about judgement it's about keeping kids safe. Obviuosly, if she chooses to stay with a man like that then she is not healthy. Do not enable her by letting this be OK. It is not OK. I agree with all most states have laws and you can not be with kids if you have a conviction. This is so hard. M.

Sounds like my family. We've been married for 5 years and I have a 17 year old stepson with a mother about like your stepsons. Have your husband contact his lawyer. If you withhold your stepson from her, YOU are wrong in the eyes of the court. No matter what is morally right or wrong, you first of all have to deal with the law or you get yourself in trouble. I'm not sure what the law is regarding the stepfather and the other kids. If she's married to him there might not be a whole lot that can be done. But that is something that could be asked of the lawyer as well. I personally couldn't stay married to a man who has molested my child, but that's me. My children mean the world to me and to forgive someone for doing that and continuing to expose my child to that person is sick. Find out what the lawyer says and go from there.

Hi A., I am an avid listener to Dr. Laura who has very strong opinions about this type of situation, and is a huge advocate for every child's safety. My Mom is a caseworker for CASA, and I am a Mom of 2. So, here's what I think...You and your husband have to get FULL CUSTODY TODAY!!! That man is a child sex offender, and you have no idea if he has hurt your stepson yet. If that has happened, the boy could be embarrassed, or could have been threatened not to say anything. You also have to tell Child Protective Services that there are other children in the home, and one of them is the victim of his offense. You and your husband will also have to sit with your boy and explain how much you love him and that his safety is most important and that his Mother is choosing a very bad man over the safety of all the children. She is putting all of the children at risk. How this man is allowed to live in the same house with the victim is beyond me. Your stepson will probably be angry about not seeing his mom (at least until step-dad is completely gone), but when he is a grown man with children of his own, he will thank you. Go to the courts with all the proof you can scrounge up. Do not let your stepson back into that house. You have to put all of your fears and reservations aside and fight for the safety of this boy.

Call the police and dhs IMMEDIATELY!!! Although the children still in the home are not your "responsibility" they still need protected. As adults we get to make our own bad choice and unfortunately it's the children who have to deal with the consequences. Please help them before it's too late.
Under no circumstances would I allow your son to go. It's not a matter of showing your son "that it's ok that he's done this" it's about making sure he's not the next victim. I would begin the proceedings to get sole custody right away. She gave up her rights when she chose a molester over her children!!!

I can't believe I just read that! What is the matter with that boy's mother??? You say she is getting more and more distant-- good! With any luck she'll fade from his life and he can get his loving and nuturing from you =) Maybe you guys should petition the court not to allow him unsupervised visitations over there due to the sex offender. And does the state know that the sex offender is living with children?? Particularly the one he was messing with??

I would never let my child be around a sex offender period. You never know when they are going to be alone with him if you're not there. I'd tell the mother to lose the boyfriend or fight you for custody. (If you don't already have full custody.) Nothing could be worse to a child than being molested. It would ruin his life forever. Don't take the chance!
Good Luck.
M.

Hello A.,
I think you should have a talk with your local Child Protection Services and tell them your story and your feelings. They will listen and give advice. They should even take steps to protect the remaining children in the home.
I am praying for you and this situation.
God bless,
S.

I would ask for the terms of his agreement- most child sex offenders can not be with in a certain distance of children once they are convicted and registered.

That could be a very easy way to say until you deal with this visitation will be restricted or cease- just contact your attorney that handled the custody agreement.

I would not let your son go there until this is dealt with, he is being put in harms way by being there.and i would also mention to the court there are other kid in the house that are at risk well hope i was help

Hi A., I would either insist on being with him for his visits or contact the judge and make sure he is aware of this. I would NEVER allow for him to be with the step-dad alone. Unfortunately, in this day and age, legally, we have to do what the court rules. I would also call social services and get their input. I will pray for the best outcome for you. I am sure you love your step child very much. CK

How can he legally be living with the child that he was convicted for offending? I would be alterting authorities - if she is not going to protect her own children, someone should!!

A.-
Your state should have a law (like most states) that states the his biological father (i.e. your husband) can prohibit him being in contact with his step-dad. This does have to go through the court system or a social worker or lawyer. Whoever your husband deals with for custody, child support, etc.
I have had many instances as a school counselor, sadly, where the student was not allowed in the presence of their step-parent. This request HAS to be made by your husband. And to be completely secure in your thoughts make sure that it is stated that the visits can not be done at the mothers home, so that way you KNOW that the step-dad is not around.
Good luck! This is not a good situation to be involved in and wish you good thoughts.
R.

If you think your step son is in danger, or his siblings are in danger of being victims of this man, then this is a child protection issue. Nobody ever wants to get another person in trouble, but it sounds like you think someone in the house is being perpetrated on and that needs to stop now. Even if you only have suspicions, you can call child protetive services in your area. Someone who has been trained to investigate and deal with situations like this will take over from there. If you don't have a court order saying you have to let your step son go to his mothers, then I would stop the visits. If you do have a court order, go back to court and request supervised visits or visits in a public place. If you have questions please let me know. I'm a social worker myself and have some experience in this area.

i don't think it's about helping another parent with her judgment it's about protecting a child from a preditor.
i wouldn't even talk to the mother, i would go directly to the police. tell them this sex offender is living with a child. sounds like the same child he offended that got him this deal in the first place. i would also contact social services. i wouldn't think twice about if these actions were going to harm my or my husbands relationship with your husbands ex and your step sons mother.
i would not let your step son go over there. i would also contact your husbands lawyer that set up the visitations and tell them why this child will not be visiting their mother like the agreement states. i would definitely get things rolling in the direction of someone looking into this arrangement and protecting those kids in that house with this guy. IF something were to happen to one of the kids again, and you didn't speak up.. think about that.. that's how i decide on things like this. also leagally,, knowing a sex offender lived there with kids and something happened,, would you be held accountable for not coming forward? i often wonder where the accessory of something comes in to play.
good l uck.. keep us up to date..

Immediately talk to the counselor at school, or better yet, to the psychologist!!!
Registered sexoffender does need to get some respect and hope for recovering, which does NOT mean you need to have the boy under the threat or even suspicious situations where he may be harmed!!!
Think how the boy's whole life might change if something happens.
This is a serious situation, take it seriously. Talk to your husband, who is your stepson's dad, right?! You need to decide something so that it is SAFE, and in the boundaries of the LAW,otherwise if you just do not let the boy to go see his mom, then this mom might start getting upset and seek for a lawful support.
Also, the great place to go talk to is in the District Court, in their Victim Services Office. Thank goodness nobody is a victim, and let it never happen, but they DO HAVE THE OFFICE where they also work A LOT on PREVENBTION of situations where not a concerned person comes to see them, but already a victim or the victim's relative.
With all the best hopes and prayers for the registered guy to get his mind straight and heart finally loving and caring,
Act NOW!
Good luck!

You have to report this to the authorities! Keep those other kids safe!

I believe that you and your husband could do something about this legally. As a registered sex offender, there must be some regualtion of his access to children. Through open records law,you should be able to fine out what the restrictions are as well as make resptrictions of your own.
Perhaps mom should only see him outside of the home. taking him out to dinner or a playground, for example.
I agree you are mimimizing what this man has done by allowing your son to visit there, but you are also exposing him to possible exploitation.

Sounds like his mom needs a little supervision when she has visits with her son. If the stepdad is a convicted sex offender, you should have no problem getting a court apppointed supervisor for the visits. Then you wouldn't have to worry about sendng him over there. Go back to court and ask for supervised visits. Until then, I wouldn't send him over there, especially overnight. I know he might want to see his mom, but at what cost? Also, you might want to think about taking him for some counseling, being that his half brother/sister was molested.

I personally dont think I would let my child go over there maybe have a talk with her and tell her that you guys are not comfortable with the situation and if she would like to see her son that maybe she could come visit him at your house or you could meet up somewhere. If she throws a fit about it maybe if comes to this take her to court and get it court ordered ... I myself would not like any part of that situation.. the guy obviously has interest in children so I wouldnt even set my child ( step child whatever) up to even the idea of anything happening to him.

I would ask for the terms of his agreement- most child sex offenders can not be with in a certain distance of children once they are convicted and registered.

That could be a very easy way to say until you deal with this visitation will be restricted or cease- just contact your attorney that handled the custody agreement.

I would not let your son go there until this is dealt with, he is being put in undo harms way by being there.

S.

Call the police for the other kids...immediately! If you can't help the children that are in the home with her/him now, you can at least protect your step-son by not letting him go back there. You can file an motion to get emergency custody of him while this gets figured out. Call an attorney right away and get started. Trust me, even if she calls the police b/c you refuse her visit, they won't get involved, but will refer you to an attorney. I have been in (almost)this same position! Good luck!
~L.

By no means let him go to his mother's if his step dad is a pedophile. An average pedophile has something like 50 victims over the course of a lifetime, barring intensive therapy, which it does not sound like he's getting. That man should not be around children period.

I agree with everyone before, DO NOT let him go over there and please have hubby file a court order to remove visitation, there are laws that say he can not be in the presence of other children.