Help on Getting My 19 Mo. Old Not to Have a Tantrum @ Bedtime

Hi S., try changing her bed time routine, like when you go to tuck her in read her a story, pray with her, make it s bonding time with her. I used to rock my kids to sleep, from birth to toddler age then they just needed to rock and for me to sing to them for a few minutes, then I could tuck them in which my husband and I did every night together, except when he had duty or the ship was out, but tucking the kids inat night was a family event. Also you may want to put a fish aquarium in her room they are very camming and soothing. J. L.

Poor little thing, being left to cry for so long in the middle of the night. That breaks my heart. You seem to think of compassionate parenting as "giving in". Wrong. My suggestion is this. Give your daughter the consideration, safety and security she deserves. Let her know you are there for her whether you are tired or not. You chose to have three children, two of them babies who are very close in age. I have four. It's not easy, but that is not a free pass to let one of them cry herself into a frenzy. Parenting is not a job that guarantees a good night's sleep. It is 24/7.

If she's in any way verbal, ask her what's wrong. I found out that when this happens with my toddler, something's happening: when she was 18 months, she went through a period like that. I let her cry it out nightafter night. when my husband came back from a business trip, he said he would sleep next to her. I disagreed- but she apparently needed it, becuase all it took was two nights! Then, this past summer, she did it again. By then, she could say, "scared" and "Rumplestiltskin" (second children are not always sheltered enough). She had seen a Rumple. play and thought that they had taken the baby and she said, "I'm the baby! "
I would have never known this was the cause if I hadn't asked.
Good luck!!

Any disruption to a toddler's 'routine' will cause a change in how they sleep. For your little one is was a cold, and being allowed to sleep with Mom and Dad. My son and I are co-sleepers and whenever he got sick when he was younger, he'd get used to me cuddling him and holding him so he could breath and it was tough for him to break of that after he got better. Really it's not a tantrum, but confusion at this change to what she has gotten used to from being sick. But, it's okay at least you made sure your little one was comfortable and happy while she was sick...good work!

But, we got through it...with some conisistency, and patience so can you guys! For us, we slowly moved back into the regular schedule and did a lot of explaining. My son has his side of the bed, and it's designated with special blankets and his pillow. If I put him down on his side of the bed, he'd flip out and want to be held. So, for two weeks we moved from being cuddled and held to slowly placed on his blankets. If he 'freaked out', I would pick him up cuddle him and say 'Mommy is here and I love you, you're safe but now that you're feeling better you get to sleep on your blankets'. It was tough, but I repeated it over and over again. Eventually, he just stayed asleep. My friend recently had this issue, and she tried it with her little girl who crib sleeps and it worked in two weeks.

Really, it's tough because you do need your sleep, but your little one needs your help understanding and working through this change. Please try not to let her CIO, I'm not a fan of it and it really just sounds like she needs a little guidance from Mom and Dad.

Good luck!

Hello S., I'm sorry you are going through this-- I know how you are feeling. My husband and I are going through the exact same situation with our 23 month old. Sleepless nights for all of us are much too common. I don't have any direct solutions for you but I want you to know, you're not alone. I just try to keep hope that my son will grow out of it eventually & I try to be patient with my little one even when I think I'm going to lose it. I tell myself that the situation could be worse and sleepless nights don't seem so bad after-all. Just continue to be the best Mom that you can be, sleep or not. We can do it!

This is tough. I have a 19mo old son who is quite the tantrum thrower himself. His tantrums are not always at bedtime but whenever he does have a tantrum I try to figure out what it is that's really bothering him (He's not really verbal at all). The other night all I figured out that there was a baseball across the room that he just HAD to sleep with. When I finally figured that out and gave him the baseball, he was fine. Usually, even when I am so tired (granted I don't have a 3 month old, so I'm sure you're more tired) most of the time he just wants to be rocked for a little bit longer. I'll rock him for about five minutes until he settles down a bit and that makes the difference between screaming for a half hour or laying down calmly. I don't know if I can give much advice since I'm in the same boat as you. But if I did have any, it would be just to really tune into what she's trying to tell you. And it doesn't hurt to give in a little to what she wants or needs. This is just a phase too. With my little guy, I figure, he won't want to be rocked forever so I try to enjoy it even though I'm tired. Good luck and I hope you get through this phase soon.