9M Old Sleeps Only If Rocked by Nanny or Nursed. Is It a Prob? What Strategy?

I agree with your nanny! All kids do go to sleep on their own-who ever heard of a 15 yr old being rocked to sleep? LOL Seriously though, I did the same with my son, and now he goes to sleep on his own just fine now (at 20 months ). I think personally that rocking and nursing made him feel much more secure and safe. I think it is a bit ridiculous in this country that there is so much emphasis on independent kids-at 6 months, 9 months old? They will get there! Let them be the dependent kids they are for a little while. Anyway, hope this helps.

I am currently nursing my 5 month old son and our 4th child. At about 2 months old I start letting the baby cry itself to sleep. I have a bedtime ritual (At around the same time every night after dinner take a bath. Then story time and cuddle time.) We do the same thing every night but instead of rocking/walking to sleep I put the baby in the crib, turn off the light and walk away. Usually after a week the baby will just go to sleep on it's own with no crying. Most babies cry for 20 minutes or so. I go and check on baby in 10 minute intervals and make sure he doesn't get too terribly upset. The first few days are the hardest for Mommy and baby but eventually baby figures it out and just goes to sleep.
I think the longer you prolong just laying the baby down with no walking/rocking the harder it is going to be to get him to sleep on it's own.
I have an 11 y.o., a 9 y.o., a 2 y.o. and a 5 month old. I have used this method with all my children. They are all excellent sleepers to this day. (Around 14 hours a night)

Hello A. -

There is no right answer to this question. Much depends on your parenting style and your baby's disposition. I am the mother of 2 children, one is 20yo and the other is 2 1/2yo. With that said, when my 2nd was born I felt I was fairly seasoned and that the second time around would be a breeze. Not so much!

I did not believe in the cry it out method; however, at the advice of my mother, I did attempt it when my son was a baby. It was a disaster. He had the best disposition, but when we tried to let him cry it out (at about 9 months), he did NOT stop crying after 20 minutes; he was like the Energizer Bunny and just kept going and going and going! Needless to say, it didn't work for us and after a week of trying, I went back to nursing & rocking to sleep. We had absolutely no problems transitioning him from rocking/nursing to going to sleep on his own. Somewhere between 18 months and 2 we made a big deal about going to bed like a big boy and off to sleep he went with absolutely no problems.

Fast forward 17 years later with a new baby girl. Her disposition was much more high needs than my son's so I knew there was no way we'd let her cry it out. I thought getting her to nap or sleep at night was going to be a big problem for us; however, it has been surprisingly easy. My husband or I read her a bedtime story (or five!) and then cuddle/rock her while singing a few lullabies, then we tuck her into bed, kiss her goodnight and tell her it's time to go to sleep. Most nights she goes right to sleep. Though there are nights she tries to stall (I forgot to kiss my dolly, I need a drink of water...the usual stuff), she never cries or gives any real fuss. We have no trouble with nap time either. We just put her in her bed and tell her it's time to sleep.

In the end, you have to do what's right for you and your baby. The truth is this time goes by so fast and it will be in no time at all when you'll glance over at your precious little girl and realize she's not so little anymore. You may even find yourself longing for those nursing/rocking days. I know I did with my first so I was in no hurry with my second.

Trust your mommy instincts and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

A.

I have 3 children. I nursed all 3 of them and nursed them to sleep. My first self weaned at 19 months. She's never ever had a sleeping problem. I always nursed her to sleep and held her close to me before putting her down...she's now 8. My second child was the same. I nursed her to sleep, she's almost 6...no sleep problems. My baby is 2 and he weaned from the breast at 9 months. I would never let my baby "cry it out." It is not OK to run to baby each and every time they cry or whimper. Certainly, a baby must learn patience and they learn this by you refraining from running to them at every sound they make. Some babies cry and fuss just because they are bored but they must learn to self soothe and you foster this by NOT running to check on them for every sound they make. With that said, I wouldn't stop nursing your baby to sleep. She won't be this little forever, nor will she nurse forever. Cherish this time and enjoy it while it lasts. Honestly, I don't understand these "training methods." We are raising children, not animals and while some types of training are necessary (potty training, manners, etc.) babies will sleep when they are tired enough to fall asleep on their own. You could always introduce the idea of putting your daughter into her crib while she's awake. I did with all of my children and sometimes they fell asleep on their own, other times they did not. Bottom line is to do what feels right for you and your daughter.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to have the nanny sleep in your daughter's room. I had all 3 of my children sleep in my room (in their own crib) and found that they slept so much better on their own once I moved them to their own room. Just a thought.

Sounds like you have an awesome nurturing nanny. She's not full of it. I never did any sleep training with my daughter who is 2.5. She was nursed to sleep until she was 25 months. Then we transitioned to reading books while we laid in her bed. Currently, I sit next to her bed and read before she goes to sleep. She doesn't require any nursing or rocking. I know when she gets older, we won't have that time to connect before she goes to sleep because she'll be putting herself to bed. (At 32 weeks pregnant, I just don't fit comfortably in a toddler bed anymore, lol!) If she wakes in the night and most nights she sleeps through, then I go to her, tuck her back into bed and she goes back to sleep on her own. I always responded to her when she cried at night. Waiting 10 minutes while your child cries before going to get them still feels too much like CIO for me. Responding to her needs at night didn't mess her up that I can see. She is very independent, social, and outgoing. She is not the least bit clingy or shy. Many kids don't sleep through the night until well over a year and that's normal and ok.

It's only a problem if it's a problem for you. I think it's a funny question to ask strangers because if it's working for you and you don't mind how things are, then why change it? She'll let you know when your current methods aren't working anymore. Personally, I can't think of anything easier than nursing a baby to sleep. If your daughter is able to go to sleep by being rocked, then she has more than one way to fall asleep so it's not all on you which is pretty good IMO! =)

sounds like you already know the answer to this one, mama!

do what you feel is right!
rock that baby! nurse that baby!

my boys (2 of them) let me know when nursing them to sleep didn't work anymore, LOL! it was around 9 months I'd say. So, then I rocked them to sleep. Then, rocking didn't 'work' so I still rocked (cuddle time/part of night time routine) & put them into bed awake. imagine that, LOL! they are FINE.

listen to your heart :-)

Hi, A.. Well, it's hard to predict what your baby will or won't do in any circumstance, especially without knowing her, but I have a feeling that some of her sleep problems are 1) habit and 2) due to teething. I do not recommend trying to change her sleep ritual during teething, as teething disturbs her sleep enough on its own. Try to find out approximately when she might be done with the first major round of teething, and plan on doing some gentle sleep training then.

I disagree with the nurse: children who are conditioned to go to sleep a certain way do not simply abandon their sleep rituals at a certain point. Maybe when they're 40. I knew a teenager who was trained by his mother to go to sleep in absolute darkness -- no light from the window, TV, a nightlight, or even a crack of light seeping under the door --and he could not sleep at all if any light at all existed in his room. He was unable (or unwilling) to sleep under any other conditions, poor thing. So I believe that training some flexibility in sleeping conditions and other parts of life is necessary at a young age so that kids do not grow up to be too rigid.

Just get ready for the backlash when you do start sleep training, because your daughter has been so totally used to having things one particular way. Changes are difficult for most children.

Good luck,
Syl

My husband and I didn't buy into any of the cry it out methods. For the first year, we immediately took care of Rhiannon EVERY time she cried. We felt it would give her a sense of security to know that we were there.

At first, and sometimes now when she is sick or teething, she struggles to fall asleep on her own. By and large, however; she has been sleeping in her own toddler bed since she was about 11 months old.

When I instituted a one afternoon scheduled nap, she struggled a little bit. She would stand and cry at her doorway wanting us to come back. We just calmly reassured her vocally that it was time to go in her bed and go to sleep. Sometimes she would play some first, but she would always pass out asleep on her floor or in her bed. It was cutest when she would shut her door and then stomp off to bed!

Once the nap time schedule was established, it was fairly easy to do the same for bedtime. I say fairly easy only because of course I would have preferred for her not to cry at all. However, I knew at 14 months that she needed to go to sleep on her own without mommy always being around.

I firmly believe in not allowing a BABY to cry it out. I think they are too young to manipulate us. EVERY time that Rhiannon has had trouble sleeping it has been because something is wrong. When does a baby become a child? Depends on the child since all children are different. For us, Rhiannon made the transition easily when she went from two naps to one nap.

Good Luck! Let me know if you want any further details or reassurances.

S.

I have 3 children, ages 6, 2 1/2, and 14mos. Every one of the is completely different. I personally do not believe in the cry it out method. They need to feel the security of mom and dad being there, and cuddling them at any age is important. With that said, my 6 year old was rocked to sleep every night and even ended up sleeping in my bed most nights (big mistake!) Eventually at around 18 months he got to big and heavy to rock so I had to lie down next to him in bed and rock him that way. This went on until he was about 3. By then he no longer needed to be rocked, but would not go to sleep unless he was in our bed. Anyway he will be 6 in a few days and finally he is sleeping in his own bed, but ends up in our bed in the middle of the night about a few times a week. With my other 2 I tried it differently, I cuddled them and rocked them in my arms until they were sleepy enough but not asleep and then placed them in their crib and it worked. They go to sleep in their own beds without crying. So as you can see 2 very different experiences, I think the second worked best for me and my kids. Of course every child and experience is completely different so you should do what you think feels right to you now. Whether it's rocking or not I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Good luck.
M.

Your nanny is not full of it. That actually works, but if you want to speed up the process a little bit....
What worked best for us was laying her down in her crib and then sitting next to her on the floor or whereever. I would hold her hand for a little while and let her know i was there. slowly but surely on a daily or weekly basis (whatever you feel is best for your child) i would inch closer to being outside the bedroom. it worked for the most part we had our rough patches where she would begin to cry.
I couldn't do the crying it out thing so, I tried to let her cry it out for a few minutes, walk in there let her know its ok and mami is here and comfort her verbally, although i wouldn't pick her up from the crib and walk back out. Try the same thing again but give it a little bit longer this time, and repeat just making the minutes before you go back in longer. hope it helps.

Every child is different. If you want to keep rocking/ nursing to sleep then do so.
At 9m my daughter was still getting up 3 times a night and i was nursing until she went to sleep. In order to cut that down/out I started nursing her until she was sleepy but not asleep. I put her down still awake. when she woke up at night i would wait until she had been crying for 10min b4 i went to get her. most of the time she went back to sleep on her own. Now she only wakes up at night if she has a poop.
Having a set bed time and doing the same thing every night ie. bath, story, nurse/rock, bed, will make it a lot easier to remove nursing and rocking later. She is so little dont worry too much, most childern dont sleep thru the night until after they are 1 year old.
once you have this part down they go and change it anyway. So HAVE FUN with it.
Sherryberry

Hi A.,
I am a mother of a beautiful 5 year old girl who was nursed to sleep for 24 months. When she turned 2 she started sleeping 12 hours straight at night and still does. We never used the cry it out method and I believe she's more secure because of it.
We are going for it again with our 10 month old boy.
Best wishes to you
~Amy

In my experience, your nanny is right.The rocking motion and your heartbeat keeps her in a woomblike atmosphere. No wonder it is so soothing! Enjoy every minute of it. They grow so fast you will treasure those moments when she wanted and needed the closeness a little rocking brought.