Help! Night Terrors? but Problem Is Going to Sleep?

My nephew had a similar problem so did my daughter. My husband went in and shut the door and began to make wrestling sounds and slamming into things to make it sound like he was fighting the monsters to throw them out the window. It worked for them and they laughed a little as the monster fought back. Maybe you could try something like that so he knows they have been thrown out and won't come back.

Hi, I am a mother of 3 children and found that children tend to grow up a little and want to stay up with mommy & daddy. I say this because this is what I always went through at bed time. I recommend being as supportive as possible. Taking this time to find out what is soothing. Soothing can be done in many of ways, you can create a room environment that is soothing, making bed time relaxing and sleepy. Sounds of nature, a symphony lullabye or a teddy bear that sings a lullabye, has a heartbeat or even reads a soft bedtime story. I also suggest maybe getting him involved when he is awake and finding out what would make him feel better about bed time. I used to lay with my kids until they fell asleep because I knew thats what my children needed, considering bedtime seemed very unhappy to them. (I always used the night time for me time and I feel that my children often wondered why do I have to be sleeping when mommy is still up). Not knowing then or understanding how confusing that is for a child, thinking I am the adult and didn't have to goto bed withought me time, probably caused more problems for bedtime in my home. But I didn't just lay around and relax either, kids are a part of the atmosphere, its almost like being left out.( I'd have the music on, or be cleaning, organizing or even had friends over). No one likes to feel left out. I am not saying you shouldn't enjoy being an adult and having me time, but perhaps keeping a relaxed zone or even keeping it behind the scenes is best. I can say I got to a point to where it was frustrating and I decided my children needed to go to bed on there own, but if they was upset I would lay with them to make them feel better. I didn't have the good ideas that are out there available to me as easy as they are made to be today. I wish I did. Although nap and bedtime was much easier and nicer with the soothing sounds of the ocean and nature. Maybe even a video projector with a lullabye could help. I really feel at times children tend to go through the I am missing something stage and that could be all it is, but making him feel protected and loved is most important. Great job mom! I know it seems tedious and time consuming, but letting your children know how much you love them and taking the time to understand, deal with and adjust to there insecurities, uncomfortableness and irritability and to help soothe them means more to them than we probably could ever know. Good luck, I wish you the best in overcoming this problem and I hope your son gets some peace with bedtime and can rest well and easy.

My daughter went through a very similar experience at around the same age. I put water in a spray bottle that we kept beside her bed at night. We labeled it "monster spray". Before she went to bed each night we would spray under her bed in all corners and in her closet. I would then leave the bottle with in her reach so that if she got scared she had the "monster spray" there to protect her. The first few nights were rough but she eventually got the hang of it and then after a few weeks no longer needed it.

I sprayed the first few sprays and then allowed her to spray the rest of the room. The next night she was doing the spraying all by herself. It became her way of protecting herself and not me protecting her (from something that was not real).

Indeed, those are not night terrors, which happen about 2-3 hours after a child has gone to sleep.

You've gotten some good advice. I guess I'd just add that you might find it liberating if you didn't have to think of letting him go to sleep in your arms as a bad habit. It could be a conscious choice. It sounds like that is what he might be needing right now--and it is a completely legitimate need.

Just my two cents. Good luck!

Hi -
I had the same experience with my daughter. After 6 months of going to bed at 1030, we went to Dr. Ferber, the sleep specialist.

Basically, my daughters internal clock was off... and we had to rewind it. He said to keep her up until she got tired, and then put her to bed (which was usually 1015-1030) and then make sure that we woke her at 630ish every morning (keep her wake time schedule the same every day), and then every few days.... try to put her to bed 5-15 minutes earlier... It took about 4 months, but now she is an amazing sleeper...

Here is an article in the children's hospital magazine Dream on her and what Dr. Ferber did..

http://www.childrenshospital.org/dream/dream_fall06/sweet...

Good Luck.
L.

I have 4 children. One of my sons used to wake with night terrors. This does not seem like a night terror to me. He now knows how to get your attention and get you to lay down with him before he goes to bed. This sounds like all he is doing to me. I'd not mention anything about scary things. Don't put ideas in his mind. That will only make things worse and give him an excuse to be afraid. Read him his story as usual at "every" bedtime. Let him cry for 5 minutes at a time. Put a timer on to insure that 5 minutes has gone by. You can try to peak without him seeing you, but do not go in until his 5 minutes is up. Simply give him a hug and tell him good night. He will try to get you to pick him up. But don't... As long as you know that he is safe. He will eventually get it that there is really nothing to be afraid of and go to sleep. You might have to retrain him, so don't expect it to happen in just 1 day. Give it a week or so. Advise with a doctor if it doesn't work. Remember, he will continue to get your attention when he learns how to do it.

I am sure you have gotten a lot of help already with this. I would just like to suggest if it hasn't been already that it is so important to make sure your child is not exposed to any scary images especialy any movies, tv or computer. Before seven they take everything directly into their being and they cannot express with words the impact. It is their body that is speaking for them by crying etc. So I would strongly suggest no media. I remember showing my three year old a video of the the Ugly Duckling, just a simple book reading really and showing the pictures. But I was in the other room and suddenly she was hysterical. It showed me that you never know how your child is taking those things in and that they really don't need them. They need protection. Good Luck LC

I would gently approach the subject during the day when he is happy and content. This way he might be able to share with you what's going on at bedtime. He's too emotional to do it at bedtime. Since this is so out of the ordinary I would also give him a couple drops orally of St. John's Wort flower essence. You can find this at any really good healthfood store. Otherwise, order it online at www.fesflowers.com. It is the flower essence specifically for children with difficulty going to sleep and night terrors. Best wishes, R. K

My daughter went thru something similair at that age. I fixed the problem by putting her in a toddler bed. She went to bed no problem after that! Good luck!! =]

HI L.,
We went through a similar experience with my som from age 3 to almost 5 and a half! He was terrified. WE tried Monster spray. Put water and some glitter in a little spray bottle it keeps the monsters away a night. My son has what we call a night lite buddy. They are Tyke lights, they come in blue, pink and green. They look like little people and plug in next to the bed so they can recah for them in the night. They stay on all nighgt and are recharchable. We also used the good morning fairy. Who would leave a little something under his pillow or by his bed if he went right to sleep and slept throguh the night without waking mom and dad. Just get some supplies from the dollar store or party store or dollar target bins for things he likes and leave one each morning. This worked best for us. I know it is hard trust me. We got into the habit of staying with him aslo and eventually he would not stay asleep! As soon as we left his side he would wake and get very upset. If you can avoid this by allmeans do so. Eventually I put a sleeping bag on the floor in my room and he would climb in and go to sleep. We were all so tired I figured this was the best option. He did sleep on our floor for about a year. Almost every night he'd come ina nd go to sleep. But at least we were all sleeping. When he started kindergarten this past Sept. He was in his bed every night no problem and we do not see or here from him until the morning. Maybe once a week he wakes but goes right back to sleep if we tuck him in. Good luck!

My Daughter went through this, and other kids I know as well. It seemed like the crib was on fire. We started with an earlier bedtime, and a very soothing routine including a bath. Then we decided to break down and get a bed! She slept on a mattress on the floor until we got a real bed. It was tough at first because she can now walk around the room, but she is now 3 and been in it over a year, and doing fine. Good Luck
Oh and we switched to a brighter nite light too

what are you feeling that he needs? Think about it and trust yourself.

My son started have bad dreams and was afraid of 'shadows' so we took him to a store like Wal-Mart or Big Lots and found a large night light and told him it said on the package it kept 'shadows' away. I also started saying an extra prayer with him that God would keep him safe if that is something you believe in.

The night light has really helped,

Night terrors are sleep disturbances that happen when a child wakes from a deep sleep and are very different.

We have a 2.5 yo that occasionally has issues like your son when something's going on that's causing her anxiety. We ask her what she's feeling and she sometimes tells us and sometimes doesn't. We usually allow her to sleep with us for a night or two - and after a couple of nights she's usually over whatever was bothering her and goes back to her crib routine as usual. I was a little afraid she wouldn't return to the crib, but she did just fine. Good luck!