Help... Need Advice for Potty Training 2Yr Old Daughter

First, if she doesn't want to go potty, then let her be. She will on her own time. Studies show that if you force it, it takes up to a year extra to potty train. Second, some kids don't like the potty but do fine on one of those bjorn toilet adapters. It is strange for them to be going on something that their parents/other adults are not using - they want to do it like you do.

Slow down, Mommy. She will do it when she is ready which may be months (even age 3 is not uncommon, I am a preschool teacher and most kids are right around 3)
The more we push, the less likely the training will go well. Good luck!

S.,

The best advice I can give you is to relax and don't push the issue. Children potty train when they are ready. If you try and push it, you will just end up bringing more aggrivasion on yourself, and will actually slow down the process, or it becomes a power struggle between you and your daughter. This is an area where she needs to take the lead. Your daughter is still very young; most girls don't start potty training until they're at least 2 1/2.

J.

For our daughters M&M's worked for going pee....and strange as it sounds having yogurt with chocolate chips worked for poop for one daughter while a tiny tiny lollipop worked for the other.
Now you didn't ask but for our girls age 2 was too early. They kinda got the concept but not enough to do it consistently through the day. We just left the chair out and they played potty on it, or sat on it while I used the bathroom. It wasn't until both girls were closer to 2 1/2 or 3 that they finally were emotionally ready to try all the time. Our younger daughter would take her poop out of her pull up and hand it to us but still wasn't ready to use the potty. Maybe waiting a few months could make all the difference.

My suggestion is not to push it. Maybe she's not quite ready. My daughter got a little rebellious and then reverted when I pushed her a little.

With my granddaughter, though, she's 2 1/2 right now, and doing very well on the potty, with only an occasional accident. When we first started with the panties, I had to put the pull ups out of reach, and put the panties in their place. So when we were at home, she could only get the panties.

When she is ready, take her to the potty every 1/2 hour or so. Shortly after I got aggressive about the panties, we made an 8 hour drive (each way) for a family reunion, we stopped every 60 miles, and even though she said she didn't have to go, I sat her on the potty. She did go each time. And we made the entire 8 hour drive on the way there, and the first 7 hours on the way back, with clean panties. The one accident she had when we were almost home was a poopy, and she made it to the potty before she wet.

Hang in there, eventually she will be trained!!!

Edited to add: With both my granddaughters, I've used stickers as rewards. It worked better with the first one than with the second. Stickers just aren't as important to her as they were iwth the first. She ends up putting htem on the wall, or on her sister, or on me, or one of the cats instead of on the chart!!!

I actually found that when I took the pull ups away and started putting "Big Girl Panties" on my daughter she tried harder to stay dry. We only used pull-ups at night.
She may have a few accidents but you might be pleasantly surprised after that.
Take your daughter to pick her own panties out. It makes them more personal and she will try harder to keep them dry.
For travel I found a wonderful invention at babiesrus called a "piddle pad" by kiddmopotomus (sp?). It conforms to the car seat or stroller and soaks up/catches accidents. When an accident happens you just throw it into the washer and dryer.

Good Luck!

Hey S.,
This process has been going on 6 months now, but my son can be very oppositional. So far we've been very successful with our process.
We started when Ben was 3 1/2. We put together a sticker chart to just get him acclamated with the potty process- not to actually go. He was still wearing diapers, but 4 times a day we would put him on the potty. He got 1 sticker for coming into the bathroom, one for taking off his diaper, one for sitting for one minute, one laying down so we could put his diaper back on and 1 for washing his hands. If he got all 5 stickers then he could have a cookie (we used animal crackers and swedish fish).
We did that for two months. Then we knew he could do it by himself- as long as there were no zippers or buttons on his pants. So we set a timer and when it went off we said it was potty break time. If he gave us a hard time, or if he refused to participate willingly then he didn't get the sticker and then at the end he didn't get the cookie. This only happened a few times. After that he knew that he wanted that cookie and that he had to do all 5 things by himself to get it. We did this for another month.
After that I got some M&M's and told him 3 for pee and 5 for poop. This worked for pee, but not for poop. So I went and got some dollar store toys and wrapped them up and told him he could pick out a toy every time he went poop on the potty. That worked awesome. We did that for about two weeks and then faded it out and praised tons instead.
I also just put him in his big boy pants whenever we're at home. We've had a few accidents, but I think that's all part of the process of them getting in tune with what's going on down there. The diapers we have today are so absorbent that I doubt they actually feel that they're going.
Anyway, when we go out we still wear a pull up just in case- but I tell him he can go on the potty if he wants to. And still a pull up for bedtime. He seems to do pee great, but poop is still an issue for him. His teacher said that developmentally he has to get used to pooping sitting down. Usually he's standing up. So I just try and stay off his case. He knows how everything works and what to do, he just has to want to do it. I hope that helps.
Blessings,
J.

Hi S.,

How about trying a basket of rewards candy, or dollar store stuff if she does go potty...or take her shopping if you have time. It is a reward instead of a punishment and will make her feel important and special.

C. T.

It's impressive that you have made it this far for her to go potty in the AM. Really...the potty thing will come and it is never soon enough for a parent. Keep with the rewards like the other posts said. Make it a fun time with, maybe reading or singing a song. If you say that you are "the person you rarely ever get to see"...I hope your daughter gets to see you enough - if there are others who are working with you to potty train your daughter, just make sure you are all doing the same consistent things, like encouraging her to go and rewarding her for at least trying. Good luck!

Do not use pull-ups! Only use underwear during the day and pull-ups at nap and night time. With our daughter, she needed some time to learn with wearing nothing at all. So we let her run around naked for a week or so. She learned quickly by doing that. Then she would have her occasional accident, but actually after we stopped pull-ups all together, even from nap and bed time, she has yet to have an accident! So try to get rid of them ASAP...they know they can put one on and do their business in it!

I would let it rest I went through the same thing with my daughter she would scream and cry, so I just left it alone and right before her third bday she said she wanted to do it so, I put underwear on her and she has been a pro ever since. I think she is just not ready like my daughter

Ditch the pullups. Use undies. Have her pick them out. Don't look back. If she messes, have her clean it up (of course you will make sure to help). Have her go bottomless at home for a week or two. Commit, commit, commit!

i agree with previous posts on taking away pull-ups. they need to understand what an accident is and why they want to stay dry. and if she hates being wet, even more likely she will "get it". just be patient and accept that there will be accidents. this is how she will learn. i personally don't think this is too early. both of my girls learned by 25 and 26 months. good luck!

My daughter is 2 1/2 and I found the best way is to just put her in underwear and only use night time pull ups until you are ready to potty train for overnight. My daughter did the same thing, she knew what to do and I would tell her to go in the bathroom and she would scream at me to but since I put her in underwear she has used the bathroom 99% of the time. I do still tell her to go to the bathroom if I think it has been awhile and she hasn't told me she had to go. I did this over one weekend with 1 accident and she has been good ever since.

Hope this helps.

Hi S.,

My daughter is 18 months, so I have gone down this road myself yet, however I have plenty of friends who have. If she is getting on the potty in the morning, that is a great start. The fact that she can tell you she's going or that she has gone in her pull up is great. A friend of mine has triplet girls. She just got them potty trained at about age 3. Once they started telling her they were going, they started using the potty regularly soon after. From what I've learned from friends experiences, you just can't push them into it. You have to let them be ready. Keep doing what you're doing because you're on the right track. Good luck and I hope this helps.

A.

We were having simlar issues with our 2 year old early this summer. I am a mom who works full time and goes to school so my time at home is limited too.
For my older 2, their grandmother took them on a 10 day vacation at about age 2.5 and they returned almost fully trained. All I had to do was follow-up. So now with our 3rd I am challenged in having to start from scratch.
Couple things have helped for us.
- our daycare provider took her to the toilet every 1/2 hour. Within a week, she was using it, but then would not go at home. So our daycare provider "gave her permission" to go at home in a very intentioanl conversation, and we saw some improvement. This part is key. If you cannot spend some intense concentrated time with her you need someone who can and will.
- I added a sticker chart in the bathroom (pampers.com has some great resources you can print out). this has helped with eliminating the screaming about going. I just say, let go potty, she says, can I get a sticker? and we're off.
- finally, I can't stress the need for intense time together. We just finished our family vacation, a road trip. Every hour we stopped and everyone went to the bathroom. Before the end of our 5 day trip, we were making a stop at a mall to let her pick out her big girl underwear. nervously I let her wear them the last 2 days of the trip. No accidents!

We're not perfect yet at home, but the struggle is now gone. My comfort comes in being reminded that true potty training can take up to 8 months. So be paitent.

ABOUT ME: Married, mom of 3 very busy strong-willed children ages 2.5, 5.5 and 7.5

I use a calendar with stickers and made a deal with my son that when he got 25 stickers he would get a new toy. He really enjoys putting the stickers on the calendar and buying new ones at the store. he still is not completely potty trained but this helps to keep him excited. Someone also mentioned to me that there is a good vidoe for kids to watch about going potty, not sure what the name is.

I would suggest waiting until she is ready to do it on her own. Taking her to the bathroom every 30 minutes to get her to go is such a waste of time. My kids might have been a bit older (3 for each of them) when they started potty training but they did on their own terms with very little work on my part and once they were trained, it was done. It was not stressful for them and it wasn't stressful for me. Stop driving yourself crazy and allow her the time she needs. Think about why you want her potty trained.. is it for her sake or for yours?

She may not like to be wet but maybe the big potty scares her for some reason. I know my youngest did not like the big potty because it was such a pain to get on and off! The business of using the little stool to hop up there was just too much for him so he continued to go on the little potty for quite some time after he was trained (poor thing would sit with his knees in his face... it was a riot though). Plus, he likes to sit to pee (still does too - thank GOD! One less 'boy' to clean up after). Now that he is tall enough, it's not a problem.

Give her some time. She is only 2.

Good luck!!