Help, My Perineum Is Gone

Ok.. this is really kind of embarrassing but the women in this forum have been so incredibly helpful that I thought I'd give it a try. Yes.. I think my perineum muscle is all gone. I never had problems with BMs but now it's become a terrible problem after 2 children. I explained it to my OB but he says it's all normal, that your body changes after carrying and delivering children. But now what? What happens is no matter how long and how hard I try and how well I eat, my BMs just will not come out. After so much trouble with this, I decided to inspect what was going on down there. The area between my vagina and anus instead of being straight and tight, bulges out like a huge ball. So when I strain, instead of the BM going straight out, I think it gets stuck in that lose area, it's like a hammock. My perineum used to be high and tight but now is much lower and very lose so the BM just stays there, now matter how hard I try. The only way I can have a BM now is to push that area all the way up. But this is driving me crazy and it still takes me a long time... and when you have 2 children, who has time? Not to mention if I am out of the home.. it's so stressful. I also feel pain in my vagina, as when giving birth. I apologize for all the graphic details but I would love to know -- do you have this problem? Did you have surgery to correct this? Did it help? I'm so nervous about this.. yes, I've done Kegels and I eat well. I researched on the web about prolapses and it all sounds pretty scary so I wanted to hear real experiences. thanks!!!