Help My One Year Old Hits and Bites!!!!

Updated on April 11, 2010
C.S. asks from Milford, NJ
17 answers

My one year old daughter has started hitting and biting when she does not get her way, she has even started throwing things at me, my husband and our dog!!!

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J.H.

answers from Binghamton on

I would put her in either a timeout chair or a corner when she hits for like 30 seconds to a minute and explain to her what she did is wrong. Thats what I did with my daughter and it worked shes 5 now. With the biting I put soap in her mouth to start with and see if she still does it.If that doesn't work. i would put a teeny, teeny, teeny, tiny miniscecule drop of hot sauce right on the tip of her tongue and say" everytime you bite you get hot sauce, not nice to bite." It sounds mean but I've known people to do it and I have seen it work. Let me know how it works.

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R.G.

answers from New York on

wow beleive it or not at one they understand more then we give them credit for . you just want to make sure you dont go to easy . get a certain tone in your voice that may show a look of fear on her face and use it . yelling wont help but im sure you know that . it always work for me setting a tone .

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K.R.

answers from New York on

Hi C... My 18 month old does alot of the same things. She doesn't bite but she does throw things and hit. I have tried taking a calm approach since when I get angry and tense up it seems to only make it worse. Their communication is so limited it seems that acting out in this way is sometimes the only way to get the things that you want. I have started removing her from where ever we are putting her in front of me and bending down so we are eye level and just telling her that we don't hit it is not nice. If she throws a toy at me I take it away and put it in the closet and tell her again that we don't throw things at people it's not nice. Sometimes it works wonderfully and I get a bog hug and a kiss other times she throws herself on the floor and has a fit. I think just being ocnsistant about the way you and your husband handle it is the most important. And give the dog lots of treats so he feels love, that seems to work with mine!!

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M.G.

answers from New York on

She is looking for extra attention it is just a phase she will pull through it

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K.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi C.,

My one year old son is doing the exact same thing. He will swing his arms at me and if he's mad when I'm changing his diaper, he will kick me. He hasn't bitten yet but he has hit our cat with any object close at hand. I have tried repeatedly saying no in a firm voice but he starts to laugh and giggle. A couple of weeks ago I set up his pack and play in one of our guest rooms and when he doesn't listen, I put him up there for 5 minutes. He hates it and screams the whole time but I've noticed his behavior improve. I was told not to use his crib as a time out place for fear that he associates his bed and naptime with punishment. Hope this or something works for you. I know I was amazed that this behavior started so soon. I was thinking it would go along with the dreaded terrible two's.

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Sounds dangerous if she's showing aggression against the dog; it might hurt her one day. Nip that in the bud, before she's older.

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G.

answers from Hartford on

I have an 18mth old that started biting and pulling other kids hair too. What you should do first is absolutely take the child out of the situation and say firmly "No biting, or No pulling". Than if your child understands time out - a proper time out might work. If she doesn't (like mine-too young) than it defeats the purpose of a time out. Just don't put too much attention to what happened, or keep reprimanding her for a long time. Negative attention is not good. But definately get her mind focused on something else, after you told her her No so she won't do it again.
Also, teach her how to pet the dog while you are holding her collar. Praise her on how nice she is being. My daughter did that to the dog and now we show and tell her how to be nice. Believe me, once in a while she'll get too excited and grab at the dog, but you just have to make her aware the correct way to handle her dog. Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from New York on

This is the time when you need to show tough love. My daughter behaved in the same way when she was one. Everytime that your daughter hits or bites, you need to reprimand her. I suggest that you also let her know that when she hits or bites explain by saying that it hurts. This tells her that you have feelings just like she does.

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

my son is 17 mths and has been hitting /throwing/ biting since about 10 mths. just more often now .He's good natured ,super social, and full of giggles and smiles , a mega charmer for sure, when he's not being a little gremlin. I've noticed the biting is small bites reserved for mommy and daddy always on our knees ,shoulders, and waists. It almost seems like an affectionate frustrating thing and/or definetley getting our attention. the throwing and smacking on the face is always when he's tired or upset and not getting what he wants or gets too excited. I STRONGELY OPPOSE THE HOT SAUCE THING AND SOAP, this seems like a generation gap technique ; i grew up with having and it only scared me i remember. Time out does not work at all with my lil'man. he laughs and seems to not grasp the concept yet. when DADDY raises his voice ,sharp and deep , it does stun him into a pool of tears and regret , which is so hard on us as the grownups but we stay strong. SO this is what's helped us: we consistently in short commands say" no hitting" ouch! No biting ! and so on ... THEN WE immediately and every time say to him " say your'e sorry and go give a kiss and a hug and clap when he does it. . this has been amazing for us. he took right to it and does it every time. BUT SOMETIMES, hits us and swoops in for a kiss immediatley. hahah! But he gets it and it is always a daily adventure and constant learning curve for him and us.

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K.W.

answers from New York on

Hello C.,
I am the mother of daughter who just turned 2, and she has been through the stage of throwing things, but I have been through the temper tamtrums that I ignore via music it works all the time because its a distraction. As for the throwing stuff at you your husband and your dog, if she understands that someone is hurt.. act of if she hurt you really bad via crying, telling her mommy/daddy/doggy got a boo-boo because of her actions and will have to go to the doctor to get a neddle so that it can get better. I have to say that if my child threw something at me she will popped once or twice on the hand before the situation gets out of hand yeah the first 2 times I will explain that throwing stuff at people is not nice and if she doesn't get i will try the I got a boo-boo and if that doesnt work I will have to pop you back to show you how it feels. I know at the popping thing may seem a little harsh but it works. As for the bitting thing my baby has not been through that stage but my 1 year old godson has and mother explains that biting is not good and he still does it. I just bite him not a real hard bite but just a little pinch and he has not bit me since. i mean just try other little things because you don't want you child to school with that habit.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

i still have that problem from time to time and my son is almost 3yrs old. it started w/the biting which thank god he after getting yelled at quite a few times and just getting older he stopped for the most part. sound harsh but those teeth hurt especially when your not expecting it. now it is more hitting which he also gets yelled at for. my son has no fear so telling him does nothing until he sees you get mad. i don't know if you have this problem but it is usually mommy who the fustration gets taken out on. there are many reasons why they do that fustration which you have to be more patient with cause they can't help it and then there is see how much they can get away with. luckily we don't have to yell to much anymore now that he understands better it is more of just holding his hands and making them listen as to why hitting is a no no. still not completely out of the woods yet but it does get better with time as long as they dont get used to getting away with it cause it is unexceptable behavior. hope this helps some. also i think the hot sauce thing is alittle harsh but who am i to judge.

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V.S.

answers from Syracuse on

Welcome to the world of one and two year olds!! When my son gets frustrated, he throws anything and everything he sees. He also hits myself or my husband. We started "time-outs" when he was 18 months old and it seems to work. My suggestion is when your daughter starts to bite or hit, get down to her level and tell her that "hitting hurts" or "biting hurts". Then put her in time-out if she does it again and explain to her why she is in time-out. There are also books called, "Teeth are not for Biting" and "Hands are not for Hitting". I got them through Scholastic but I think you can get them anywhere. I read them to my son (who just turned two) and he likes to look at the pictures. --The bottom line is you have to be consistent. This is the age where children cannot speak so they get very frustrated to try to get their point across. This is one of the causes for biting, hitting, or kicking. GOOD LUCK WITH IT!!

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L.P.

answers from Hartford on

If I was standing face to face with you, I would be begging you not to do mean things to your child to correct this situation. Hitting her back, yelling at her, putting hot sauce on her tounge (Oh my god!), and sitting her in time out will not solve anything. Why? Shes ONE. Not only does she not have the ability to control her emotions (no self control at this age making her impulsive), she has no other way to communicate with you. She is not old enough to understand a time out, and is not old enough for long explanations (ie "If you bite again, I'll put hot sauce on your tounge - again Oh my god!-) I would suggest that you read some books about child development and positive parenting. Your child will most likely benefit now from redirection and pre-emptive measures on your part. Meaning, when she displays these bahaviors, first of all understand that she is trying to express herself to you. Try to understand what she is attempting to communicate to you. If she is doing something you disapprove of then move her body to a different area and help her busy herself with something new. If she's biting at this age, hand her a teether and encourage her to bite it. Get to know her cues and when you see her getting ready to bite, distract her or give her the teether. I would encourage you to say things to her like "Don't bite mommy," or "No" or what ever because hearing language is important and she will eventually assign some meaning to the words she hears. But don't expect her to respond to it at this point. She isn't capable of it. If you'd like, I invite you to e-mail me for more specific information. I'd love to talk to you about how you can help your child through this without hurting her.

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J.M.

answers from New York on

WHEN MY SON FIRST BIT SOMEONE THE FIRST THING I DID WAS BITE HIM BACK LIGHTLY AND HE NEVER BIT ANYONE AGAIN.........

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I.E.

answers from Jamestown on

Time outs n consistancy, It just takes time!

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C.P.

answers from Utica on

C.,
This is so common, and I think that most parents can recognize that. Obviously you have your own methods of parenting, but I find just getting down to his/her level and saying "we don't bite, it's not nice and it hurts" and just leave it at that. Last year my son went to a preschool where the parents had to drop off and pick up our children each day. We all visited with each other while waiting for our children to come out of class and many of us had other children of ours with us. My daughter was one at the time, and although she was not overly aggressive she on occassion would get a little rough with some of the other children. I think that it is very important when dealing with other people's children to let them see that you as a parent acknowledge that it is unacceptable behavior and that you will discipline your child. I would briefly apologize to the child, the parent, and tell my daughter that it was not nice. I think most parents will be very understanding as long as they see that we are taking responsibility and not ignoring the situation.

C.S.

answers from New York on

My son had trouble throwing things. Time outs worked for us. Even at such a young age, he understood. And whenever he throws something it gets taken away from him for the rest of the day. He learned pretty quick. He never hit or bit, so we never dealt with that.

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