Read AV's response.
You have to get past the point of feeling it is "hurtful" - you are the parent and you cannot give your child that sort of power over you. Instead, you show her that there are immediate consequences for disobeying "the boss" (you/husband) which is a skill she will need going forward (teachers, coaches, professors, job supervisors). Little children WHINE - and they go to time out and they don't get screen time and they don't go to the mall or have sleepovers because they are too little. So she's not getting treated like an 11 year old if she acts like a 2 year old.
Take the attitude that she's going to do the chore - could be right now, could be in 10 minutes, could be next week. The longer it takes and the more aggravation she gives you, the more aggravation she brings on herself. So her problems are within her control.
I do agree that she should have regular chores, and I think you can allow her some flexibility in choosing those. She shouldn't get only the smallest jobs, but she doesn't need to get the worst ones either. So teach her how to negotiate so that everyone gets something they want. The discussion has to be respectful for her to have any participation - that's a privilege for tweens and teens. If she whines and whimpers, then she is being a child and you will make all the decisions. The chore agreement can be reinitiated at any time, but NOT instead of doing what's already on it. Does that make sense? She can't bail out on a task at that exact moment by saying, "I want to renegotiate." That's not how it works.
But if she has to get stuff done at certain times, you'll have fewer occasions when you say "Do X right now" and she gets annoyed because she didn't see the task coming. She can, and should, help on the spur of the moment, but if most things are within her control and have a deadline but some flexibility about exactly when she does them, she may become more mature.
And the more work that gets done without time spent arguing, the more all of you get to do fun stuff.
ETA: I see you responded to your own question to blast Suz T. FYI since you are a new member, let me help you by explaining that the way to respond is to add and edit (Edited To Add) to your question, or put something in the "So What Happened" section. Putting it as a separate response is more likely to see it lost in the many other answers. This is an internet forum and you may not like every response or the exact way someone responds to you. So you either answer it, or you ignore it and take the advice from the other responses. I think what you took as insulting was a response to your comment that your child "always" does this and has a terrible attitude and you have no idea what to do. So you implied this has been going on for a long time - which does put more of a spotlight on parenting than a short phase a kid is going through. You focused more on how hurt you are than on what strategies you have already used and what else you might try in the future. I think you'll do better long term on Mamapedia if you get to know the people here (and Suz T. is a wise and respected member) and consider that perhaps there was important info missing from your question that would have helped more. Perhaps you misread her intent just as some others might have misread your message. Just suggesting there be a meeting of the minds. If you are super sensitive to your own kid's words, is there a slight possibility that maybe you are overreacting to something you read here? You can't read tone or nuance or intent in a written response of course - it's not like a face-to-face or even a phone conversation, after all.