Help! My 10Year Old Wants to Take a Girl to the Movies!

Just a thought - but how about you and the girl's mom talk? Maybe the two 10-yr olds can go to the movie and feel grown up - but only if you or one of the other parents go as well. And the girl may say no. When I was in 5th grade a boy asked me to go get a coke with him. I completely freaked out and said my mom wouldn't let me.

I think the pizza, popcorn with a couple other friends may be a good idea. Dating one on one at the age of 10 seems a little young. I have a 4th grader and that is what I would suggest.
Good luck.

As the mom of two girls, 20 and 11, I've been there and I'm going there again -- in regard to situations like this. I would say no no no a thousand times no if I were the parent of the girl. I don't care how polite or respectful the boy is or how nice a family or anything, but I would not encourage the situation at all. My older daughter had kids in her class who were doing these things in 4th grade -- even group dates, which the parents thought were just fine. The two girls I know of whose parents allowed this both have toddlers now -- and they are 20. I'm a realist and I know that kids have crushes on one another and I did too, but I never would encourage it by allowing them to spend more time together. They see each other enough at school is the way I look at it. They really do grow up too fast, but this just speeds things up because they will get tired of the movies at home and group things and want to go on real dates much younger. My older daughter's friends were like this. They were already dating at 13 or 14 because they had been hanging with the opposite sex for so long. And it was hard for the parents to stop it once they started encouraging it. I would be very careful about going down this road. The cool thing about being a parent -- and you sound like a thoughtful and caring one -- is that you can just say "no, you're too young." I think parents don't do that enough because they are worried about whether or not it will hurt their kids. When your kids are 20 and look back, like my older one does now, they will thank you for the tough decisions that they fought with you about years ago. They might not like it now, but they'll get it later. (I, too, wish they had instruction manuals! I could have used that!)

Hello M B!

What a thing to have to be thinking about already!!! I think that group things sound better/safer..However, you have a child that is being honest with you and you still have some control in the matter. I can remember being that age....and most "sexual" things were peer pressured (in group settings) instead of true interest. Some group outings only promoted that stuff instead of the other way around so that may be something to consider too. If he does begin to have urgings they may eventually find somewhere to go, as I said you have him being honest and giving you some control in the matter. That's a great relationship!!!! Support that, give him trust until he gives you reason not to, and talk with him!!! Good luck with your decision - you know your son best! How do her parents feel?

K.

Why not go with them? Or invite her over to your house. I would also check with her parents to see what their feelings are about this and work within their guidelines. I think its sweet, but they are way too young for a traditional date. Kids are growing up way too fast these days!
T.

Hi,

I have a ten year old also who is, thankfully, not interested in girls yet. I'm not ready. If he did come home with that question though, I would definately go with the supervised group thing. I think that 10 is too young to "date" but of course, hormones start early these days. He is probably beginning to get those feelings but has really no clue about it and that's good. Everything is moving to fast for kids these days and it's up to us as parents to slow it down a bit. My 7 yr old daughter knows the meaning of making out just from the Disney channel. When I was seven, I had no idea about that stuff. Anywho, I would go with groups or a small gathering at your house. Good luck and let us know what you decided.

No way! They are not emotionally capable of handling anything close to dating at that age!!

I think a group would be better, you are correct there but if he insists tell him you would need to chaperon him and his little friend. i don't think it is uncommon in this day and age for girls and boys to notice each other at a much early age.
I guess I have the odd one. My son like a young girl for a while. Never asked her out just talked to her at youth group and church. But now at age 18 he says don't have the time or money for dating. I need to worry about college and my future. I think about dating when I meet someone that is worth speeding my money on. My husband and I look at each other and say what a bubba.....

S.

Wow! The variety of responses is interesting, and eye opening. 10 years old (and 11, and 12, and 13) these are still kids! Let them be kids by having their first crush at school, but DO NOT facilitate their notion that they are quickly becoming adults. Even a group of kids in a movie theater without a supervising parent sends a message that they are old enough to go out and make some very important social decisions on their own. The movies are exactly the place where they learn to think that they are soooo much older than they are. Who will be supervising that they go to the movie they are supposed to and not the rated R flick in the theater next door?
I think parental involvement is key at this pivitol age. Setting limits and showing the right example by what you allow him to do at this young age will help to shape him to be a gentleman when he is 16, 20 and 40!
No to single dating until at least high years of highschool - he will even thank you when he gets older.

Personally, I wouldn't let a "date" happen. What if a whole group of them went to the movie?

A.

Not in a million years. And we're not talking about a "young lady". This is a GIRL...and you have a BOY. If they are "dating" when they are 10, what in the world will they be doing when they are 13?

If your son would like to arrange a "play date" with friends, I'm sure you would be happy to host them at your house after school.

advise your son he is to young to date but perhaps he could get a group of friends together to see a movie and there will be some adult supervision. Talk with the other parents. Although, there may be some parents that allow kids at 10 to date that doesn't make it ok. go with your gut feelings.

Holy Cow!!! These kids are sure growing up fast now a days!!!! LOL I am SCARED for my kids to get to this point! haha. Not sure what to tell you, but I know as a mother of a daughter, I do not think I would let her go if a boy asked her in only 4th grade. Maybe I would consider it if I or my husband was sitting in the row behind them! (I know, my daughter is going to hate me!!) But I think that seems a little young for a "date"

Ummm, wow.
I had to be 16 to date.
Is this what is waiting for me in 8.5 short years?

Is your son looking at it as a "date"? Or just wanting to go with a friend to the movies (one who happens to be a girl)? I don't have children that old yet, but if at that age they are already talking about kissing, holding hands, etc., then I would be against it unless a parent went with. On the other hand, if you would send him to the movies by himself with another boy and at that age there isn't any holding hands, etc. talk, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. I think fostering friendships between members of the opposite sex at this age would be great as long as they are friendships and they aren't thinking anything sexual.

Do you know what the young lady's parents think about the situation? What are their rules? That being said, it is not rules that make kids grow into respectful individuals it is example and instruction. Rules set boundries which we all need, but in addition to putting out there what NOT to do, you have to demonstrate the right way TO act. How about having the girl over for dinner?(provided it is ok with her parents) You will be there, and he will be able to spend some time outside of school with his young lady friend. I definately see your point that 10 years old seems young to date, but do you really think that all kids who are told to wait until they are 16 to date actually do? And in the same boat, do you really think that kids move too fast because their parents "allow" them to date early. You obviously care about your children and want to be involved, so you are ahead of the game already. It is the parents who don't care what their kids are doing and have no relationship with them that should worry. Kids are moving faster and faster today because they aren't taught any other way to interact with their peers. They don't know how to spend time with the opposite sex without being physical. Let your son spend time with this girl doing things like watching movies or playing games so that he realizes that you can have fun with someone and be around them without having to push a physical relationship. If he wants to have her over for movies or something maybe you and your husband could join them? You could have a family movie night where you would allow him to invite her. Pop some popcorn, get some snacks, and you could all enjoy the time together in addition to getting to know his new friend. It's just a suggestion and as I haven't gotten there yet, I am not an expert but I really don't think super strict dating rules are the best way to go. Too many kids I knew grewing up had such rules and ended up with kids way too early because they had parents who just weren't a part of their lives so I would much rather be involved with my kids and teach them how to have healthy relationships. I hope I was some help but good luck to you!

Go to the movie with them. I don't see why they should be left alone at this age.
Your son just wants to spend time with her. But, it should be supervised.
What does HER parents think?

Personally, I think it's too young to start "dating".
I would consider this a play date.
S

I think you are totally on the right track. At his age, it is only natural that some are starting to take an interest in each other. Luckily my daughter is a late bloomer. I am not saying that she hasn't been interested in boys, but she is too shy and careful to act on it. BTW, she is now in 7th grade and has not had a "boyfriend" yet. She has been asked out twice, the first in 5th grade and the 2nd one was in 6th grade. I think if you provide him with a safe atmosphere to explore these feelings, where you are present at all times, and do not make a huge deal out of it, it will probably be harmless. Sounds like your son might be just a tad ahead of the game, but totally normal. Good luck to you, it sounds like you know what you are doing. :)

These days, if dating starts this early then everything else may start early too. Go as a group!

Go with your instinct. Do not promote relationships at that age. It is bad enough when they get into highschool. Studies show that children do not mature enough to make good decisions until well into their late teens and twenties. The part of their brain responsible for decision making doesn't develop fully until then. I would continue to push the group situations and forbid any one-on-one dating or time alone.

I worked in a middle school for nine years and there wasn't a single year that went by that at least one little girl didn't end up pregnant. It is a different world we live in these days. Kids are exposed to much more graphic sexual content on tv, in movies, and in their music than we were. They are talking about things we didn't even know about at 10. They are often doing things we didn't do until we were in college.

Your instincts are right on que. Trust them no matter what others in the community are doing. Honestly, in my opinion, the reason we have so much teen promiscuity and pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is because parents today are far to lenient. This you have to trust your kids business has gone too far. I think it is just a form of laziness because parents today are just too busy to keep up with their children.

I prefer groups because the awkwardness is gone. I use to love to go out in a group. He may think it is a date but is it really? My son is 8 and claimes he has a girl friend. The only reason she likes him is he thinks she is a great person not a sex object. My son goes to school with males who told a girl in first grade to take off her clothes because I want to have sex with you. The girl is a nice shy little peron. I explained to my son that was emotionally and sexually abusive. That said no place is safe for our children.

I do know what you mean about being concerned. I would simply tell him the truth. I would be more confortable if you both went with several friends. Tell him that you trust him and her. Tell him you do not trust the people out there. No place is safe. People could harm them several different ways. Example taking your money. I would talk and listen and work it out together.

I would say yes to a group date and NO way to them going to the movies alone...I think it is a great idea to have them over at your house for pizza and a movie..Good Luck..

I would go with the stay at home idea! He is too young to date, especially with as fast as kids are moving today. I think it's a great idea to have everyone over in a group under supervision, especially if he's up for the idea. I can't believe people are letting their 10 year olds go on one on one dates! My mom's rule for us was we had to be 16 and able to drive ourselves. Maybe a little strict by today's standards, but we survived!

nope, he's too young to date....end of story.