Help Moms! Need Co-sleep Support and Advice...

Hi S., my husband and I happily co-sleep with our 22 month old and co-slept with his older brother until he was almost three. When I was a few months from my due date, we knew we needed to get our first son used to sleeping in his own bed because once the baby was born, there would not be room for him. We wanted to start the process well before the baby came so he wouldn't feel displaced. He needed someone to lay down with him until he went to sleep and more often than not my husband fell asleep in his room, which I didn't like much. We ended up having him sleep on a crib mattress on the floor of our room for a long time. At about four he moved to his own room permanently. He likes it when someone can lay down with him but doesn't require it to go to sleep. I don't think that any point in this process was "hard" on him. I think you will get more sleep if keep your baby in your bed at least until he no longer needs a mid-night feeding. I love waking up next to my little guy. Happy snuggling!

Parenting is such an intuitive process which I've found no books or advice can guide me through when it comes to matters like yours. Bonding is so important the first year, when your baby certainly can suffer feelings of rejection or abandonment. Since you are planning another baby, my opinion (please take with grain of salt) is that this baby boy needs to be totally filled up before you introduce another child. If co-sleeping is what feels comfortable for you, (which we did for 15 months with my son and are so happy we did-he transitioned to crib and then big boy bed with ease because he has such a secure attachment), then I would continue. Don't fix unless broken, as they say.
You sound like such a sweet mom! Your babies are lucky you are willing to take their feelings into consideration!

Hi S.,
I agree with Cara. At about 9 months he shouldn't need to eat at night, but right now it makes it so much easier and less disruptive to feed him at night if you co-sleep. I loved co-sleeping but my daughter was disrupted by my hubby (he snores and talks) and she is also an active sleeper so I moved her into her crib in her room at around 3 months. I would try to transition him into his crib a while before the new baby is born so he doesn't feel resentment towards his new sister or brother.

I HIGHLY recommend reading "Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to understand biological sleep rhythms as it will help make the transition to crib much easier for both of you.

Sincerely,
L.

Hi S.,

We are a co-sleeping family and it has worked great for us. My son is 22 months old and he sleeps with us. I encourage you to do whatever you feel is best for your family. We too are planning to have more children, don't let that rush you from taking your child out of your bed. Do what feels right for all of you. Your child will let you know when they are ready or when it isn't working for you or your husband, then its time to look at other options.

Good Luck!

Molly

Our "little man" has co-slept with us since birth, and is now 4. SOmetimes he'll sleep in his own bed, but he prefers to snuggle. Mostly this is fine. Our daughter did not sleep with us, and didn't really want to, until she was able to climb out of her crib. We tried putting our son in his bed just before our daughter was born, and then when she came home, she just slept better in the cradle or in the moses basket. We transitioned her to the crib in her own room because she just kept waking up when she was in our room. Our son, knowing that the baby wasn't with us, "moved back in" so to speak. Now, our daughter won't stay asleep on her own- and if she falls asleep in her room, ends up in ours in the middle of the night. She'll be 2 soon. Our bed (a CA king) is very crowded these days, and sometimes it is very frustrating. We figure they are only little for a short time, though, and don't push the issue. It was a little tough to time the second child, if you get my meaning.

On the baby feeding every two hours issue, you may want to let him cry and fuss a little (not an all out scream, mind you) because you could be "training" him to need your nipple for sleep. He may just be stirring a little, as we all do, and your not letting him readjust before you slip him some breast may haunt you later- in the form of a baby/ toddler who can't comfort himself well or worse, tooth decay on his precious little teeth. Just something to think about- you know him and his needs!

Certainly, you should follow your instinct and not cave to pressure put on you by others. I like having my little ones close to me, but I also miss MY bed!!