Help Me Become a Better Time Miser

Updated on January 28, 2008
C.M. asks from York, PA
24 answers

I was not sure what category to place this under, but I need some help. I have a 6, almost 7 year old princess; and a 2 and 1/2 year old train conductor. My house is a pig stye. Till I do the laundry and dishes and pay the bills, there is no time left. I recently started giving my princess a $2.00 a week allowance to "help out." She makes her bed most days, and takes the recyclables from the kitchen to the bins in the garage. That is pretty much it as far as she is concerned. My son....... he makes more messes all day long. I currently am recovering from my second back surgery and a pre-op infection. I have pain issues to deal with.....therefore there are things I DON't do like Vacuum and carry the laundry from floor to floor. My husband works 4 twelve hour days per week and DOES help out ALOT. It just seems to never be enough. We help help from inlaws at times and my mom comes down to do fun activities with the kids on Saturdays. You would think I would have a clean house.....NO. Here is what I need from you guys..... I recently saw on a show where the mom had multiples that she has a pre-set menu she follows. Therefore totally elimating the "what is for dinner?" question. This is supposed to help out with the grocery shopping also; because you should know what to buy, when you are looking at the recipies for the week. I have started to work on that list..... at the cost of my Christmas thank yous being placed on hold. So I am asking all of you totally organized moms out there with beautifully clean house and kids..... What is you secret? I need to know what your little tricks and tips and organization skills are. Please help. PS~ I am planning a huge Yard sale in the spring to help get out from under the toys.

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So What Happened?

I got some interesting information. Thank you to everyone who responded. It was nice to know that I am not alone. Is my house clean now??? NO. Sad but true. The fly lady that so many of you recommend is a good idea, it just doesn't work for me. She does however inspire me to at least do my dishes in a more timely manner. (My sink is Clean lol). I have been trying to take small steps towards recovering my house. I have been making my children help out more. And I have been trying to let go of the things that are out of my control. The serenity prayer is my new motto. If any of you continue to find good ideas that work, I would love to still hear them! Thanks again

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K.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

www.flylady.net

Tackle things 15 mins at a time. She gives great advice on decluttering and setting up systems to make organization and house cleaning easier. She also has some sister sights such as saving dinner that helps you plan healthy meals and creates grocerys lists, etc. Good luck, you are not alone!!

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A.B.

answers from Lancaster on

I am NOT organized or even good at keeping house-HOWEVER...there is a great website/daily reminder thing that seems like a good idea and I have friends who SWEAR by it...flylady.com...

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R.G.

answers from York on

C.,
Kristi J says it best ... http://www.flylady.net/ She has been a life saver in our house. Now for the kids http://housefairy.org/. Even for your little train conductor, it's not too early to get him started. But you must always remember that it starts with YOU and kids notice everything.

I have been following Marla's system for a few years now, and while I am NOT perfect, it has helped in ways I can't begin to explain. I also just recently signed up for Leanne's http://www.savingdinner.com/ and it has definitely taken my housekeeping to a whole new level. This is where the lanned menues come in.

All of these are easy and inexpensive. Marla's FlyLady site explains everything in easy to understand terms, and the resources are great. Several of the suggestions the other moms here have made are all basics to the FlyLady system.

I wish you the best ... I know exactly where you are, I was there too. My oldest is 5 almost 6, I have a 4 1/2 yr old and a 2 yr old. My 2 yr old is the cleanest of them all. It can be done.

Blessings,
Rolinda
Wife, Mother, Friend

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T.M.

answers from State College on

For dinner help, check out the book, "Saving Dinner" by Leanne Ely. She is a nutritionist, so her meals are healthy. They're also *mostly* down-to-earth (nothing overly strange, weird, hard to find). The book gives you an entire year's worth of menus and is separated by seasons so you can get the freshest veggies by season and kind of follows comfort foods for winter, lighter meals for summer months. Each week, she starts by giving you a shopping list of what you will need that week - this keeps you from buying, say, a whole container of sour cream that ends up going bad b/c you use it once and then throw it out a month later. A lot of her recipes have "make ahead" for the next day items (like if you have mashed potatoes w/ your meal on Monday, make extra to have with your Tuesday dish). This not only tells you exactly what and how much to buy, it saves money!

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K.G.

answers from Lancaster on

I don't know many SAHM's that have multiple children and have an immaculate house. I am surely not one of them. I have 2 boys under 3 and they are always wrecking what I have just cleaned. Toys are huge; the less, the better. If you can store most toys and rotate them so that if you do end up cleaning up the toys, your not doing it for hours. It takes me 7 minutes at the most to clean up toys because I only have a few things out. I throw all my laundry in front of the washer and have my munchkins put it in the washer (I have a front loader) and I fold while they watch a TV show or Sesame street movie for chill time.

Cleaning as you go makes life soooo much easier. I struggle with dishes because I dread them, but I found that if I did the few I made right after the meal or before I served it, I wouldn't have dishes stacking up anymore. And if the things that are the hardest (or painful) to do you can get your husband or daughter to do, just worry about the things you CAN do.

Also, for dinner, it is MUCH easier meal planning and shopping for meals instead of buying a bunch of stuff and stressing about it all afternoon. I received The Mennonite Cookbook by Ester Heatwhole Shank (I think thats how you spell it), that cookbook has been my lifesaver. Everything I've ever made from that cookbook has been great and it has substitutes like if you don't have buttermilk, what to use instead. Making the shopping list before you go makes shopping easier and cheaper. I also keep a marker board on my fridge to remind me what im making for dinner which night and if I need anything from the store throughout the week.

Well, I wish you all the luck in organizing and getting some time to yourself.

Kim

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D.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Good morning C.!
first off...I'm not a wonderfully organized mom with a beautiful clean house, lol. I have four children and my house is always a mess but....

I'll tell you the best thing I ever did. Sit down with a tablet and decide everything that needs to be done in the house during the course of a week for maintenance. Typically how many loads of laundry do you do a week, how many times a day does the dishwasher need to be run, how many times do you need to wipe down or deep clean a bathroom, etc. This is not the EXTRA stuff...nothing about organizing or hitting new projects. The nitty gritty of "this is what needs to be done" just to function.

Then break that down into 7 days. For instance, I know that I need to do two loads of laundry and run the dishwasher two times a day to stay on top of things. I *could* do all of the laundry on one day but then I'd have no time for something else on that day. So you can work it out however you prefer it but if you have 14 loads of laundry, schedule them in somewhere.

Then tweak the list so that every day is doable. I made a spreadsheet on Excel but you could always just use a white lined piece of paper and make your list. It helps to keep things on track for getting done. and if you miss something, it isn't as big a deal because everything else is getting tended to.

Another thing I did that has been so helpful is that I created a list (again, on Excel) of the groceries we normally buy. I broke it down by category. Fruits/veggies, meat, condiments/sauces/dressiings. And I made an underscore next to each item so I could check it when we needed something, or even write in quantity needed. So it would be like

_____ milk
_____ shredded cheese

etc. and I printed up several, put one on the fridge and just remove it when I go shopping.

another thing you can do, along with your daily list of chores, is to literally make a certain day of the week a certain meal or a certain TYPE of meal. I know that MOndays are insanely busy so I make Monday our crockpot day. And I asked my husband IF he had to have one meal that I make scheduled in once a week, which would it be. And I put that meal on for Thursdays.

When our parents were kids they did that often. Moms would do meatloaf every Friday (or whatever!). I know my mom said she loved that. The predictability of it was comforting. and I could see how that would be true. Kids thrive on routine. Something that predictable (as long as they like the meal!) would be nice! So that's an option.

If you don't like that idea,then schedule one night of ground beef, one chicken, etc.

As for junk mail, this has been a great one for us! Go to an office supply store. Get four or five accordion pleated folders. (the folders that expand). Don't get the kind with lids and a latch. Just plain open accordion file folders. With a sharpee, label one "catalogs, magazines". One "sales sheets" (for your grocery and store ads from the week). One for bills, one for school papers. and so on. When the mail comes in, put it in the right folder. When you put new sales sheets in, it's super easy to grab the old ones and pitch them.

as far as the toys, boy, I'm being eaten alive with toys. I've considered buying big plastic tubs and rotating them. I actually already HAVE the bins, sorted them by the type of toy but that didn't last when my husband let them just break into all of them at will without cleaning up first. So now I figure I may just literally bring out one bin a day and that's what they get to play with. Even if the toys are mixed, they'll find something they want.

Lastly, I bought a book called "It's all too much" by Peter somebody or other from the TLC show "Clean Sweep". It's actually got some great tips in it and has been inspiring for me to keep organizing in baby steps. He recommends taking one grocery sized bag a week (or two) and filling it with the things you aren't using. The rate of what comes in is so high, that you need to be constantly removing too, and then it never gets overwhelming. I think that's a great idea!

ok, you didn't ask for this much! lol!

Have a great day. I hope some of what I rambled is helpful!

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T.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

I wish you the best of luck and am getting great ideas from responses myself! There is a saying.... If you came to see me, come on in... if you came to see my house, please make an appointment. I work outside the home 40 hours/week as does my hubby and then on top of that we have 3 active boys...one of which is in travel hockey. I don't have a lot of time for house cleaning and unfortunately it shows :o(

One thing that I have done is made freeze ahead dinners. It can easily be started by... when making one dinner....make 2 or even 3. Make 1 and freeze the other 2. I went to costco and purchased tinfoil pans and gallon size freezer bags to freeze my meals in (stacks easier). If you do this 2 or 3 times during the week, you will easily build up a supply. However, it is almost a must to have an extra freezer when doing this!

Alas for the house cleaning.... I can't be of much help, but know that your not the only one with a cluttered house!!!

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

"cleaning your house while your kids are still growing..is like shoveling your sidewalk while the sky is still snowing"!! Don't beat yourself up about your house, it is next to impossible to keep a super clean house when your kids are young. My house is somewhat clean and organized now because my kids are in school all day! The tricks that I have learned is to put things in bins and therefore if everything has it's own "home" it's quicker cleaning up. I have become lazy about making my kids do a whole lot of cleaning until just recently. Sometimes it is more stress on yourself to always be on them to clean up after themselves.
I used to do an "exchange of services" with a friend. I would take her kids once a week while she got caught up and she would do the same for me so that I could get caught up.
Yard sale is a great idea to de-clutter!

Good luck!

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S.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My sister-in-law turned me on to www.menus4moms.com. Its not just menus, but also home organization help, that emails you daily tasks to maintain the house. SHE HAS EIGHT KIDS (!!) and SWEARS by it. Also, if you participate in Angel Food Ministries ($25 can feed a family of 4 for over a week) they have menus based on their food boxes, as well. Good Luck! :)

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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

Rolinda and Faye say it best!!! (sorry if I spell either of your names wrong) www.flylady.net and www.savingdinner.com Flylady is AMAZING! My whole house is clean and organized and dinner is planned thanks to Leanne the dinner diva...check it out!!! I have been a FLYbaby for 16 months and have a hubby, together we have an almost 2 1/2 year old little princess =)

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 5yo daughter is sorting her laundry as we speak. It is something she can easily handle. I have my children's plastic dishes in the lowest drawer and both my 5yo and 21 month old can get their dishes out of the drawer at mealtimes.

I do try to plan my meals ahead. That alleviates much of my stress. It takes more time in the beginning but at 5:00pm, I know what's for dinner and it is ready to go. Don't forget to use the crockpot. Some of our meals take 5 minutes of prep and 8 hours later, dinner is served!

Hope that helps!

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K.C.

answers from State College on

I have found some things that help me with my bad back and 2 girls(7 and 3). First there is this thing I bought at wallmart called a gopher. It can pick up anything from shoes to clothes to toys to paper so I don't have to bend down all the time. Second I have both girls help me by putting everything up on their beds or up on the couch by the time they do that I've put half of the things away and the 2nd half we do together. Third I have an old spray bottle with vinegar and water(30/70) and I let them clean the bathroom with 3 paper towels each. The can spray the counter, mirror, tub and floor. It can't hurt anything, it can't hurt them, it cleans the place(I usually go over it after but now I'm doing a brief clean) AND the bonus is they realized the amount of toothpaste, spit, and spots they were making using the sink. My 7yr old puts away the silverware, it's sorting and fits her attention span where the whole dishwasher would be too much for her. There is a movement called voluntary simplicity and you can google it. Basic tenet is: less clothes=less picking up, folding, ironing, putting away. You'll have less stuff to try to control and organize. I didn't totally buy into this until we moved and the movers left my mugs behind. I now have four mugs instead of a shelf full and it's less hassle, less dirty mugs pile up since I have to wash them to use them and there's more room in the cabinet. Same concept works with my kids toys. We actually got a swingset and my daughter told her friend "I used to look for grasshoppers before I got my swing". She didn't need a ton of stuff for me to pile up put in bins organize give her grief to pick up argue it was out in the rain etc. She had time to notice the grasshoppers. I'm surprised what they didn't miss when we moved.(when you clean out for the yard sale pretend you've got to pay to move everything you keep-it is a great motivator) I make a big deal when they help me by telling their grandparents, friends, teachers, "Princess cleaned the bathroom yesterday she was a big help, I'm so proud." Now they ask to help.(not all the time but it isn't battle)

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T.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

p.

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A.L.

answers from Harrisburg on

The weekly menu has been a HUGE help to me for a bunch of reasons. First, no one asking "whats for dinner" since we already planned it out. Next, grocery shopping is SO much faster when I have a list off my preplanned menu. And finally, I've saved LOTS of money in buying only the things I need for meals for the week instead of just "winging" it. I agree with most of the other women, bins are a big help and so are Ziploc baggies. Puzzle pieces, small accessories for toys, etc get thrown into those and when its cleanup time, everything back in right then. Another thing I've done is use an over the door shoe organizer in my kitchen area but you could do this anywhere. Basically I hung it over a closet door and filled all the shoe pockets with little things I needed to get out of the way. Dog leashes, coupons, batteries, drink mix packets, stamps, you name it and its probably in there. Because the pockets are small nothing gets lost in a big drawer or bin but there's plenty of pockets to store things. My other suggestion....get your kids to help more. At almost 7 and 2 1/2 they can both do more than you probably think. My aunt had this great system for my cousins to do chores. She took pictures of them doing various things around the house (making bed, setting table, unloading dishwasher, etc) and then made a bunch of copies of a picture of their big smiling faces. Post these somewhere easily accessible and visible to the kids so they can see what they can do to help. When they help do the task without a fuss or hassle, they get to put one of their smiley pictures up. Once they get so many smiles, they get something special. Whether its $2 or a trip to the movies or a favorite dessert, etc. My aunt used this and had her 3 and 5 year olds unloading the dishwasher everyday.

Just remember, no one is perfect and believe me, EVERYONE has the same struggles as you (at least if they're human :) Its really just a matter of finding a system that works for you and your family and trying your best to stick with it. I also love the magazine Real Simple. It has lots of great tips for simplifying pretty much all areas of life, including organization. Good luck and if you figure out any good solutions be sure to share!

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H.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Decluttering is a good place to start. If they don't play with it, it is broken or it doesn't fit, get rid of it. Also, another suggestion I've heard works for a lot of families is cycling the toys. Pull out a bunch and put them in storage, then in a few weeks or a month switch them out. If there are toys your kids will fight you about getting rid of, put them away for a while and see if they even notice. If they don't notice, then you can get rid of them. If they notice and are upset, then just cycle them back in.

Also, as far as the cleaning. Pick your battles. Remember that your house in not a showplace on a gameshow or in a furniture store. It is actually lived in. For your son, get a basket or bin for clean up time. When things get too messy, play the cleanup game and have him put all the toys on the floor in the basket which he can move around the house. After it is full, have him push it to the toybox and unload it.

Another suggestion is to check out the flylady.net website. I've heard a lot of mom's rave about it on here. I've recently checked it out and it seems to help. There are little suggestions like when going from one room to another look around to see if there is anything which needs to be taken from the room you are in to be put away in the room you are going to.

Good luck and try not to let it bother you too much. It will get better but sometimes it takes a little time. Also, when you are not feeling well or are in pain, it can become a little frustrating that you can't get done all that you want to. Feel free to email me if you want someone to talk to who understands. My house is just now finally starting to get to a point where it doesn't upset me to walk around. It has taken about 9 months. My son is now 5 months old and the second half of my pregnancy I had a lot of back problems that seemed to always put me behind on what I wanted to get done. Also, my other children are 3 and 8. That in itself puts you a little behind. ;)

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K.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

C., I am not sure you are having a problem "doing" wash, but years ago my sister gave me a idea for my wash that actually freed up more time for other things. At the time I had three young children and seemed like laundry was a FOREVER thing.
Every Monday collect the wash (she used hampers and that helps with organization of the dirty clothes). It may take a couple of days to complete but DO NOT touch the hampers again until the NEXT MONDAY. That way you feel you have completed the job and do not have to worry about it again until Monday. I had such an issue with my wash that I use to literally cry about it until my sister gave me the suggestion on how to take off the presure and it really did help. I felt I had much more time to pay bills or tidy up.

I was given another suggestion by a good friend, because I set such high expectations for myself and was dissappointing myself on a daily basis because I couldnt reach them. She told me to make a list of the things I truly needed to take care of and promise myself to do AT LEAST TWO of the things on my list in a day (this list would change on a weekly basis or so). What I found is that I was ALWAYS able to meet my expectations and most times completed more that the "required two" and felt elated at what I had accomplished. I hope the suggestions that were given to me will help you as they did for me. Being a mom is a very hard job because it entails much more than just taking care of the children. Good luck.
K. P.

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

I live by this rule......If you have too much time to clean, then you will have no time to parent. I watch kids in my home 5 days a week from 6am-6pm. By the time the last child leaves, I am making dinner. While I am making dinner, I have my 2 1/2 yr old girl, seperate laundry into the laundry baskets(a white one for the whiltes, a dark green for the darks and a pink one for the towels). She still needs help, but it keeps her busy. When dinner is done, we eat. When she is showered and dresses for bed, I put on a movie or a story DVD and clean. That buys me over an hour. By 7:30pm, I get her a small anck and we read a story while eating snack. At 8pm it is bed time. Brush teeth, hugs, kisses, hugs, kisses....and I lay her down. From 8:30-10pm, I clean up messes. I love bins, so that I can just toss the toys in there(of course I do have them semi seperated) by category. Dress up, legos, barbies, food play...ect....I do not have all the toys out all day for them to tear apart it all. I bring out a different bin out every day. They will never get bored because they are not playing with the same items daily. The only thing that is at arms reach all the time is books.....Yard sale is great!!!!!I plan out all my meals on friday night, shop on sat, and cook on sun...so that I do not have to cook during the week.....it makes for a easier meal time...just heat and serve!!!!

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K.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Some little things I do that save time.

I clean the bathroom while my 22 month old is splashing in the tub (during his bath). I do keep a close eye on him especially because the bathroom is very small:).

I take the water glasses that my husband and I take to bed and dump the remaining water in all the house plants before putting the glasses in the dish washer.

Buy lots of the paper products and non food when they are on sale (ie. paper towels, toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, toothpaste, detergent, and more) I usually try to buy at least three months at a time and then I never have to run to the store when I don't plan to.

If I make a family favorite meal like lets say meatloaf. I buy the meat in bulk mix two or three times the recipe and throw the extra in the freezer in meal size portions. When I am tired I pull one of the frozen ones out defrost in the microwave and bake like normal. Same thing goes for meatballs. I usually bake three or so times the amount we eat and throw the rest in the freezer. Those I prebake so I just have to microwave and throw is sauce.

Every week we have spaghetti on Monday nights and frozen pizza Sunday lunch. Those meals are a no brainer.

I have friends who do a TV dinner night where everybody picks thier meal you just plop them all in the oven.

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M.I.

answers from Pittsburgh on

if you are looking for meal ideas, try kraftfoods.com and allrecipes.com

allrecipes allows you to search, and if your family has a particular favorite food, you can find a ton of different recipes that involve that to choose from for your menu. at kraftfoods, you can customize meal plans, and i think it can go for a month. the ones at kraft are pretty healthy, and the ingredients are very, very common.

as for organization....i've learned it's a constant battle, and i only have one child! our toy room is seperate, and it makes it easier. if toys find their way into the living room, they just get put back in the side room. even if we don't clean up the toy room each night, at least everything that belongs there gets put in there. as for everything else, i'm still working on figuring that out. there just aren't enough hours in the day after commuting, working, cooking, and exercising to do lots of heavy cleaning. i've taken to using my friday nights to get laundry organized and started (fun, i know!). if i can get three loads done before bed, then by saturday morning, laundry is half way done! if nothing else, it's a good mental trick.

good luck, and remember that you aren't the only one out there who wishes she could wiggle her nose and have a clean and organized home!

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N.B.

answers from Lancaster on

www.flylady.net

Truly a life saver!

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am a SAHM who isn't the best housekeeper. I've never been very disciplined in that area but am making progress. One thing I've done is finally broken down and spent money on buying things to help me keep organized - totes, cheap dressers, bins, etc. Designating a home for each of our belongings helps me stay in control.

One day an idea hit me. I used to work as a secretary and was always receivng comments about how organized I was and how I always got my tasks done by the dealines. I thought about what helped me stay organized at work - a daily planner, assigning certain tasks to certain days of the week, doing more difficult or dreaded work when I had a clear mind first thing in the morning (and when other staff were still getting settled in and weren't bugging me yet).

So to tackle taking care of the household duties I have set up a weekly schedule in which I assign one room or two smaller room to each day of the week. I spend 30 minutes in the room of the day. I straighten up, dust if necessary, and if there is any extra time I work on projects - such as cleaning out drawers. There wasn't much extra time in the beginning, but now that I've gotten a better handle on things I've been able to spend time cleaning out closets, de-cluttering, etc. I was surprised at how much I accomplished by cleaning out 1 or 2 drawers at at time. I also allot 5 or 10 minutes a day for each of the other rooms so they stay tidy. The kitchen gets about 30 minutes a day. I have also worked in time to pay bills, file, etc. If you are interested in more details, send me an email and I'll send you a copy of my schedule.

I've also been getting my kids involved - ages 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. We have a lot of colored bins that toys go into - cars in the blue bin, dolls in the green bin, books on the shelves. Together the kids and I sort the toys and I tell them which bin they go into. When we do it together it gets done quickly, we spend time together and we make it fun. Three other things my kids like doing are using the Swiffer sweeper, the Swiffer wet jet, and dusting. They don't do a perfect job but it keeps them busy, teaches them skills and responsibility and does help with the mess.

As far as meals go, I try to cook enough food for two meals at one time. For example, if I make chili I make enough for 2 or 3 meals. We'll eat it one night but I'll freeze the rest for future meals. I do this with spaghetti sauce, chili, stuffed peppers, stuffed cabbage, stew, beef and veggie soup, breaded chicken breasts, meatballs, sloppy joes. I also like casserole type dishes and ones you make in the slow cooker.

I hope something here is helpful to you. Best wishes for a quick recovery!

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G.M.

answers from Scranton on

Here is a fun site that might help you maximize short snippits of cleaning time: http://www.flylady.net

I've found that you have to pick your battles. Between my husband and I, we can manage to get the floors mopped and the rooms dusted once a week - which helps me relax when my son dismantles every room (knowing that the rooms may now be cluttered, but at least they're clean).

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

C.,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I am a busy mom of 3. My children range in age from 5 to 16. They go to 3 different schools and both of us parents currently work 40 hours a week and have been for many years. While organization is wonderful, we don't always have it going on. I struggle with my kids daily to help keep up the house. It definately is a battle every day. They all have certain chores that they have to do, and I have to remind them every day to do them. If things get really bad, sometimes I have to bargain with them. Like, if you clean your room then you may go outside to play, but not until it's clean and done correctly. With my youngest child, we use a lot of bins. It makes for easier clean up. I quite often will clean up with him, but sometimes he does it all by himself. Sometimes I make that a challenge for him. I'll say something like, do you think you can make your room all shiny clean by yourself? I understand your child is only 2 1/2, but now is a good time to get him started on cleaning up after himself.
On another note.....here is what I have come to learn. If you worry about having a clean house all the time, you will never have time for anything else. Enjoy life, it's too short to be wasting slaving over cleaning all the time. Have good times with you children and you husband and squeeze in a little "me time" for yourself. I think everyone needs that, even if it's only an hour or so a week. Life's too short, children grow too fast, and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Good luck with everything.

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S.P.

answers from Scranton on

One important rule to have in your household, is if you make the mess, you clean it. If your kids don't clean up what they are supposed to, don't give them their allowance. Make each child a list for the day, not too overwhelmingly big, and tell them to do it or they don't get to have their video games until its done, or what ever they like. They need to help out too.

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