my 3 yr old wants nothing to do with potty training. we have a little potty that he has used but we have to force him to use it. when he goes not it he is very proud of himself but it a struggle to get him to sit on it, he like to play on our computer i tell him that if he goes potty then he can play that doesn't work, i have tried food and that doesn't work. i recently brought big boy underwear and he was wet in them and really didn't care and now he doesn't want to use the potty. i ask him if he wants to be like daddy and big brother and he says NO. i am at a loss as what to do next. we would like him to go to preschool next year but now i am not sure that will happen yet. i could really use some advice on this. please help me. thank you very much
Thank you so much for all the great advice, i think we are going to try the potty chart and see what happens but i am going to back off a little bit and see what he decides to do. My husband is on over the road truck driver so he only home 2 days a week, so it is hard to have my husband help when is gone but he does help when is home.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
Well, if you are really desperate, you could try a class. I've saw something on a talk show about this program: http://www.bootycampmom.com/
My son is 2-1/2 and has no interest at all and gets very stubborn if I even try to pull his pants down while he's standing up. I'm going to wait a few months before trying again, but I've got the Booty Camp website bookmarked, in case it doesn't work out!
Good luck.
I wouldn't worry about it so much, he'll do it when he's ready. My oldest was 3.5 before he used the potty and only had 2 accidents. The older they are, the easier it is. Starting preschool is a long time from now, he'll be ready by then. I know I was so worried about that, that I called the school. He was fine by the time school started. Your guy will get there too. I think we all feel so much pressure to do things by a certain age, but every kid is different. Good luck, he'll be using the potty before you know it:)
My son was the same way. He didn't potty train until after his fourth birthday...we did miss preschool at 3 but did other classes instead.
Just before his fourth birthday I started noticing ready signs...sometime he would pee "with" daddy standing up, I saw he went to "hide" when he had to poop. So our method was two fold...when we were at home we were in underwear. I was low key about it and yes there were A LOT of accidents...for a couple weeks. When we were out we wore pull-ups (I did have to live our life!). We also used the reward system...A toy he really wanted sat on the a high shelf and every time he had an accident I stayed calmed, cleaned it up and cheerfully said we need to get to the potty a little sooner to get our prize. First it was pee in the potty by himself, then poop, then going out and about without pull-ups for a week....so three prizes. It took a TON of patience on my part. He started going in his pants then running to the bathroom to clean up or finish....I stayed cheerful and praised him for trying. Before I knew it all clicked...this took about a month entirely. But there has been no going back at all!
One thing I did find through all this is he HATED when I constantly asked him. I had to be patient and brave enough to let him decide when he needed to go...constantly being asked or to "try" made him frustrated. Even now...fully trained asking him to "try" just doesn't fly!
Good luck...I promise it will happen.....its a hard milestone because you have no control over it...it must be his decision.
Boys have a tendency to train later than girls. What we did our house is we had a piggy bank and every time we had sucess on the potty we got to put money in the jar. as soon as we had enough money we were able to go some were special with daddy or what ever. As the child gets a little older you can also take money away (*if you want) for accidents. Good Luck!
I have the same issue and my pediatrician and a peds urologist said the same thing. Don't push, when kids are ready, they'll go. If you push, you'll have big problems. I know it's frustrating as a parent, but it will happen.
My 3 year-old boy is also currently potty training. He's very strong willed and it's difficult to convince him to do something if he doesn't want to. We've had a few full training days in underwear. The first couple were full of accidents, both #1 and #2 (those underwear were thrown away :). But then my pediatrician suggested the star chart in the bathroom. I was quite sure my little guy wouldn't be swayed with something so small...he's a bit spoiled. But I found Thomas the Train potty star charts (free) online and printed a couple out. I bought those cheap star stickers at Walgreen's and it is working like a charm. He LOVES putting a star on the chart. He gets 1 star for trying and 2 if he goes.
We bought him a train the first time he peed on the potty. And another the first time he pooped on the potty. He gets another one once we're in underwear. Every kid is different and I don't think there is 1 right formula. But for my little one, he can see the tangible rewards when he reaches a milestone. 2 nights ago he got out of the bath to pee on the potty - now we're making REAL progress.
Just be patient. And it does feel like 1 step forward, 2 steps back for awhile. But rest assured they won't be 10 and not potty trained! It will happen.
I had the same issue with my 3yo daughter, she refused to sit on the potty. Someone suggested trying "potty presents" and it worked like a charm. I bought a bunch of small, inexpensive stuff then wrapped them and put them all in a bowl. I explained that every time she peed or pooped in the potty she'd get to pick a present. Then the bowl sat in the bathroom for her to see. A couple of days later I switched her to underwear and she earned her first present. The rest of the presents were earned over the next week and by that time she was trained.
Good luck!
my kids went the full range of potty training....the one that never had an "accident" after putting him in "big boy" pants, the one that trained extra early (18 months), the one that was too lazy to tear herself away from her play to use the toilet (she LOVED her pull ups so until I took these away there was NO hope), and the fighter....he like yours completely refused to use the toilet.
What I found helpful for him, was to look at WHY he was "afraid" of using the toilet.....He was afraid he would fall into the big toilet, and didn't like the feel of the potty chair. I resolved that issue by buying him one of those seats that fits into the big toilet seat ( Babies R US carries them as well as ONE STEP AHEAD)....this helped, but we still had issues. I then tried to reward his "good" behavior ( the few times he actually tried) but this did not help....like you I then began the "punishment" round. I then took the stand the if he wet his pants then he must want to still be a baby.....I put CLOTH diapers on him ( tricky I know, but at least I had the control of him being wet, but not quite so easy for him to just change his pants on his own without it being noticed)...he was given a bottle, put back into his crib (we had to pull it out of storage since we had long ago moved him to a big bed) and allowed him only "infant" toys, food, and activities......in a few days he was asking to wear the "big boy" pants, eat and play in the manner that was age appropriate. He still had a few "accidents" for weeks, but they disappeared in a reasonable amount of time. He was unable to stay dry through the night until he was nearly 10.....(this was before the marketing of pullups "Good Nights" for example, sized for older kids) so it meant many mornings of changing his bedding etc... I talked to our pediatrian about the bed wetting and while they were not a great deal of help at that time, things are different now ( this son is grown)....Keep track of how long he can "hold" it, what he is eating or drinking that could trigger his inability to control himself ( sodium in food and drinks, caffeine, artificial food coloring)....cutting them out (or at least limiting) of his diet can help. These days there are lots of suggestions for how an adult can control frequent SUDDEN urges.....check out the suggestions that include behavior modification on these sights...they can help you help your son. I assure you, he will NOT be wetting the bed by the time he is ready to head off to college unless there is something seriously physically wrong......
It is fustratiing for you now, but things will improve!
First, take a deep breath! I remember feeling exactly like you when my son was 3. One week he was perfectly potty trained, the next week, he wanted nothing to do with it! If you feel exasperated, take some time off of the training. Start up the focus again in January. I would take the holidays off, you can't really give potty training your focus and neither will he. You still have LOTS of time before fall pre-school, so do not worry. Stops and starts are part of the process (I wish knew that going in!) You will be amazed when you both start fresh again! Hang in there!! It will happen for you!!
His father needs to take the lead here. My husband worked with our son and it really helped out. My husband also helped in proper showering and washing of private parts.
S.
My daughter was a little over 3 when she finally potty trained. I know alot of people say by such and such age they should be potty trained and years ago kids were potty trained by 18 mo. old, etc.. But I decided all that didn't matter. She had to WANT to use the potty. Truthfully we still had a few fights (I think it was more a struggle for independence and control). Sometimes we still had to pick her up, take her to the bathroom, pull her pants down, and set her on the toliet. The plus side for us was once she decided it was something she wanted to do it was easy. We had a couple days of training, only a couple accidents and we were done. I tried potty training my son this past summer (he's 2 1/2), but we delt with accidents all day long every day for 2 weeks. I then decided he wasn't ready. Now we are wating a couple months and will try again. Eventually things will click. I know you are at a point where it seems it will never happen, but I will tell you it will, and when he decides he's ready it will probably take less time to get fully trained.
Also, both my kids prefer the big potty over the potty chair. That might make a difference. After all that's what mommy, daddy, and everyone else uses. It made it easier in a way because we never had to transition to a big potty from a potty chair. It also saved us from having problems in public (like stores that only have big pottys) and at other people's houses.
S.,
My suggestion is to not try to force your son or bribe him to use the potty. When he is ready to go, he will. I had a friend who went through the same situation and he eventually went potty on his own but he did it when he was ready. He was 4 when he started to go potty on his own. Boys are usually later anyways. Hope this helps.
J.
We tried a ton of things with our 3.5 year old, when we were training him about 6 months ago, and he pushed back on everything. Finally we gave up, and let him take the lead. Within a few weeks he started telling us he had to go, and was doing great. As an incentive, we gave him change - a quarter if he had a BM, a dime if he TOLD us he had to go, and a nickle for urinating. it worked GREAT, and it only cost me about $5!
it sounds like he is just not interested. I have always read that they need to be interested. so maybe just give it time. I actually used dinosaurs. I got a big bag of the plastic ones and the weekend we decided to potty train we stayed home and once we went to underwear we never used anything except that during the day and diapers were only for night. I would just pick a weekend and try and make it fun no pressure but once you put on the big boy underwear , dont switch to anything else. hope this helps.
