E.C.
I love the other answers you got! And calling the hairspray company? Duh!! I never would have thought of that! :)
If you want to do it yourself, this is what you do:
1. Sand it. Sand it. Sand it. The whole table (or table top if you can be careful).
2. Stain it.
3. Put varnish on it.
This is a process, and one that I have been putting off on our new table. We got it, then the same day, scratches started to appear. I want to sand it down, stain it, and put a thicker varnish on it. It will prevent the scratches.
Anyway, it IS quite an undertaking, so be prepared!
E.