Okay I first want to apologize for this maybe being a little long. My daughter will be 16months on the the 8th of July and in the last few weeks she has changed in her personality and behavoir. She used to be a very sweet shy little girl and when we would get on to her she would get her feelings hurt and cry until she was comforted but she would not go back to the bad behavior. Fast forward to the last few weeks...she throws her sippy cups/pacifers, she whines constantly, screams LOUDLY for long periods in the car, in the house, at dinner time, at friend's houses, at bedtime anywhere. She gets in "fits" where she is uncontrollable. Let me give an example - Last night I had to stay at work late so my sister picked up both of my girls. When I got to her house to pick them up we started talking about what they did and what they ate. I then ironically began to tell my sister that she has been acting strange and I wondered if I should take her to the dr. and then she got to see it. I got up and said "Okay let's go bye-bye" Cheyanne (the baby) threw her sippy cup and I asked her to "go get your sippy so we can go" and then it started. She flipped out threw her self into the couch where her body was half way on the couch and half way almost lying on the floor and went to screaming but her screams are like a hoarse loud screaming. It always stays the same sound throughout I mean there are some tears but mainly just screaming. Her body tightens up and she moved to the carpet and started clawing at the carpet and screaming it is very unsual for her. I have tried what I know to try. I have freinds and family complain about her screaming in the car or at their houses telling me to do something - get her to stop. I have tried asking her to use her words but she doesn't talk much so I don't think she understands. I tried ignoring her thinking if she gets no responses she will stop - nope she just continues I mean it will go on for 10-15 minutes or more if I let her. I have tried to get down and talk to her telling her "we don't act that way, be a sweet girl and get your sipppy. We don't throw things" nothing seems to work. The other day she got hurt and after she stopped crying over being hurt she got mad I still don't know why but her whole body like tenses up and she grabs things and acts like she can't control it. Is this normal just acting-up or is this something that I should be concerned about? I asked her exsisting doctor and he said "ignore her" but I already had some issues with him so I plan to change in July. She has an appointment scheduled July 8th. After the "fit" she ususally calms down in my arms and then seems very exhausted and tired - she wants to go to sleep like it completely took her energy. I just want to know if maybe she is testing her boundaries or what? She also screams herself to sleep since I can't rock her then put her in her bed and she only sleeps for a few hours and then screams to sleep with me. I have tried the let-her-soothe-herself back to sleep - nope she will scream for 20-30 minutes or an hour at like 2am so I go get her. I tried going in there and getting her a drink or a pacifer she throws it and screams but when I pick her up she calms down and by the time I lay her in my bed she is fast asleep. If I try to move her she screams but she is wearing me out she kicks me all night my whole body hurts. My oldest daughter tosses and turns like that too. I need some help please any advice on what I should do. Could she have an inbalance? Could this be a serious problem? Am I doing something wrong?
I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any answers for you through personal experience; however, I have read a lot on mamasource about children's chemical reactions (leading to behavioral reactions) to various dyes in foods and other ingredients in foods. I don't know much about it. Check the archives here on mamasource for similar posts until you get your own responses. Good luck to you.
I hope this will go away soon for her an you. It maybe allergies as someone else suggested or you mentioned you were a single Mom again recently. It maybe she misses her father an
is acting out at anytime. I hope you can get a real solution on her soon. As it will wear you down fast with two children on yuor own. Good luck am keep God in yuor lifes an I will pray for you an your children.
M. H.
Looks like you have a strong willed child on your hands, I do too. I think your doctor was right to a degree. You can not reward bad behavior and attention is a reward, negative or not. My kiddo was 15 mnths old when he started this behavior ans its normal, just seems that like me your older child was not so strong willed. Here is my suggestion and has worked for me. Always give a warning, but just one,remember this applies to home and away from home too. I spent 30 minutes putting my little guy back in timeout the first time before he realized that he was't getting up until I said so. Now all I have to do is point. Since she is so little its ok if she cries and calls your name, mine did and we are just now enforcing the quiet time on the spot. Remember NO COMMUNICATION on the spot! AT ALL. If she gets up, quietly put her back and walk away. No eye contact. This is so they know that bad behavior does not get attention. If they know this now you wont have them acting out as teenagers. Stick to it I know you can. I will leave you with something I tell myself and my friends daily, (this is good for when you dont feel like doing it in publc like at a restaurant) I care more about the character of my child than the comfort of others. Now with that being said if I am at a "nice" place i will take him outside but at Mickey d's or rosa's or any FAMILY place, I just turn his high chair around and ignore for 2 minutes. After he tells me he's sorry and I forgive him and we hug and kiss. Now sometimes it takes more trys and some time he only needs one. So CHIN UP!! We're with you.
I don't think anyone can tell you what exactly is going on, just make suggestions. I have 6 children and 2 of them (boys) were like what you described. My oldest son had these behaviors for years and I researched and tried everything and learned a lot in the process. When he hit 13 he mellowed out so much. It was as if he just couldn't process how to handle things in a proper way and was very impulsive. He couldn't handle any form of rejection, mistakes or the word no. He went right into a fit. I still don't know what it was that mellowed him (hormones, better reasoning skills, or what), but feel a lot was tied to allergies. I've noticed that his allergies have been better since he's been better. My youngest son (6) gets like this if he's hungry, tired, or in any kind of pain (even just feeling lousy from a virus). I'm so grateful that I can pinpoint the cause with him. Every child is different and their coping skills vary.
Please don't feel like you're doing something wrong. Even the doctors we saw for my older son didn't have any answers set in stone. It was more or less, try this and see how it works. Kids at your daughter's age don't use reasoning skills as much as they are reactive.
Try logging her sleep hours as well as what she's eating. Keep track of when she has her fits, what condition triggered it (having to leave, hearing no, etc.) and how long the fit lasts. I learned that my oldest son had a lot of anxiety with change. He was much worse anytime we tried to do something different (even going to a park if it wasn't completely scheduled on a regular basis). You can't avoid change ever just so the child will be fine, so there is a learning curve on how to best handle it. If you can figure out what your daughter struggles with, you'll at least know more on what to try.
Some people swear by the Feingold diet so you might want to read into that. Kids nowadays have so many allergies and sensitivities to foods that it is really worth a try.
