I have a 12mo old son. When we go to the park or anywhere in his stroller or the burley for a bike ride, I can not get him to go back in once hes out. It took me 3 trys and 2 hours yesterday, to get him back into the burly at the park.
I use to distract him by giving him a snack but it doesn't work any longer.
Now he screams and crys and twists his body so I can't get him in.
I don't want him to think he can get his way by acting like this but I don't know how to get him to cooperate. HELP!
My son does the exact same thing. I basically try to distract him and then slide him in, or carry him for a while and then he seems to "get over it".
Oh yes, I remember being totally dumbfounded when my son started this and totally mortified at the playground. I now realize, everyone has been there before. It was at a year that I started giving him 5 minute "warnings" that we were leaving someplace "we need to go bye bye soon" or "one more swing and then bye bye." After a while, this totally worked for him and now that he's two he is getting really into the whole process of "bye bye." He certainly still tried to put up a fight at a year but now if he's sad to leave someplace he may whine or cry a bit but it's much better. It will pass in time! It's actually a good thing as he is showing you he has a mind and a plan of his own. Some kids have a harder time with transitions but all of them DO meltdown from time to time.
This is absolutely normal behavior for a toddler. Their brains are not developed enough to handle emotion or not getting what they want and they throw tantrums. Give a warning and explain that you will be leaving. Then, if he won't come on his own, you just have to hold him down, strap him in, and get moving. Other moms understand, we've all been there. Get used to this...it might last a couple of years! But, if you let your son continue to get his way for two hours, it may last the rest of your life. This is controversial, but if my 2 1/2 year old throws a tantrum when I am trying to get him in his car seat, etc... he gets a quick swat on the thigh. It usually stops the tantrum immediately and calms him down - believe it or not. (If it didn't calm him, I wouldn't do it.) But, you have to go with the personality of the child and your parenting style. Spanking may not be for you or your child, but for some kids and some situations, it works well. Some kids are just strong-willed. Have fun! You are not alone.
You can start to use a real simple form of time out. I tried this on my daughter when she was that age(now is 5 & still use the time out when needed) It could take a few tries but they catch on. The rule of thumb is 1 minute per age. My daughter would rather get a swat on the backside then go to time out because she has to sit & be quiet. This method seem to work better as they have to sit- If you are going to use this method you have to be consistant in order for it to get the results that you want. Best wishes to you!
C.,
Definitely be consistent with your son and set up a schedule - like other moms suggested. Give him a timeline, like 5 more minutes, then 2 more minutes, so he's aware of what's coming next. Transitions are hard for kids this age, as they don't understand why in the world you are taking them out of this totally fun place!!! If you give him that verbal schedule, as well as where you guys will be going next (home for lunch, shopping at the mall, etc.) he'll get more used to the idea of the transition. Also, don't forget that your son is only 12 months old. I am certain that you are stronger than him. It is fine for you to hold him down while you buckle him in. You may feel like you are using a lot of strength (and you probably will be - those one year olds can hold their own!) but I promise you are not hurting your son and it is absolutely necessary. If you try reasoning with him at this age, he will only see it as: I'm getting my way and staying at the park 2 hours longer than Mom wanted. Be consistent, give him a verbal warning about leaving, hold him down if necessary, and continue with the snacks! Your son will get it eventually, and you'll be better off when he actually hits the terrible twos!!!
Do you give him a 2 min warning before you are about to leave? I used to set the alarm on my phone. I would tell my daughter that when the alarm went off in 2 mins it was time to leave. Then is was the phone's fault, not mine, when we had to leave.
Sometimes I will also say "Two more times down the slide & then it's time to go." At six, my daughter does not throw a fit, but still needs a warning (or closure to the outting).
I would say "You have 5 more minutes, and then the stoller and Mom are leaving." Then after 5 minutes, I would give him a change to get in. If he doesn't, I would say good-bye and start walking off. Have you tried that?
If that doesn't work (because you're obviously not going to leave him alone at the park). I would still give him the 5 minutes, but then I would say "either you can get in the stoller like a nice boy, or you can get in the stoller kicking and screaming". Then get him in there either way. Even if it's totally embarressing. If you physically cannot, you'll have to pick him up and take him away kicking and screaming. But at least he'll know you mean business, and he won't get his way. Good luck!
Welcome to toddlerhood. My two kids went through a phase like this where they did not want to be strapped down. Just be persistent and don't let him think that if he acts that way that he'll get his way. When you're at the park be sure to let him know that he needs to go back to the stroller/bike or whatever right before you do it. That way he knows what's going to come next and it isn't such a surprise to him.
That's a typical 1 year old. Your gonna have to get touch and show him who's the boss, who's the parent. Physcially put him in the stroller,burley,carseat,highchair or whatever strap that 5pt.harness on him real tight and be on your way. Get physcial! Don't back down and don't bribe or negotiate. Let him know you make the rules and he's NOT the boss. This is where they really really need to learn early on there is no negotiating or being in charge they are the child and you are the adult.
Hi C.,
I would give him a 5 minute warning before you leave. "We're leaving in 5 minutes, ok?". Then in 5 minutes, ask him ONCE to get in. If he doesn't, pick him up and put him in the stroller. If he kicks and screams, so be it. Don't worry about being embarassed or having strangers judge you. Anyone with a kid has been there, done that.
I'm not a fan of the "I'm leaving without you" tactic. I think that kids should listen to their parents because they're their parents, not because they're afraid they're going to get left somewhere.
Whatever you don't bargain with him, and don't draw it out for 2 hours! He has to listen to you because you're his MOM. Get him to listen to you now, because he won't always be small enough for you to pick up.
