Help..... - Warren,MI

If the children are not sleeping at night.. then they are probably tired during the day. Tired children are crabby and not well behaved..

SO the real problem may be lack of sleep leading to the kids being tired and then they are acting out during the day.

Maybe if you can get them to sleep their daytime behavior will improve..

-- Also -- what do you do with the kids all day?? Do you go places have activities lessons or some structure to their day?? If kids have nothing to do all day.. execpt fight with their siblings. well they will fight with their siblings..

'Are they bored?? were they in preschool during the school year and are now home and bored??

You are the adult...you MUST put your foot down! They are old enough to understand rules and CONSEQUENCES. make sure they have a conseq. for every wrong action!!!!!

If you are a breastfeeding mom, please check out my answer to the play group question above. We discuss parenting a lot, using a method we call Loving Guidance. This must be exhausting for you! Your kids are at quite different developmental stages. You could find info at your local library or on line about what to expect at these stages.

Yesterday my children had appointments with their therapist and during the discusson with him and myself I told him both of mine are horrible to each other right now. They are either at each other's throat or doing really good. He said it seems to be all of the family children he sees this year are worse. He attributed it to too much togetherness. School for the older ones starts in about 2 weeks so that should help. The only thing I can figure is that because of the economy being what it is, how many of us have truely changed and dropped a vacation or a trip we usually do? I know we have canceled 3-4 weekend outings and I'm working more, just to make sure I don't have to worry. Also if the parents are nervous it will run down to the kids.

So like several others suggested, make sure their routine is in place and everyone is health, and I'ld suggest finding a way to do something special with each by themselves and yes the 2 year will understand, but will not need as much time.

I know Lincoln Acadamy in Mt. Clemens has parenting classes for their students parents. Will the 4 year old be going to Kindergarten or Pre-School? That may hepl also. If Pre-School check out the school they may have something for you.

Good Luck

There is a "Love and Logic" parenting seminar coming up at Faith Lutheran Church on October 25th. It is located morth of Big Beaver on Dequindre and is open to the public. The instructor is fabulous. It would be worth your time and your husbands to go and get some usable tools for parenting. I love the love and logic stuff. You can check out their website www.loveandlogic.com.
The phone number to Faith Lutheran is ###-###-#### and their website is www.faithtroy.org

The books and classes that have changed the atmosphere in our home was the "Wise" series.
there is baby wise, toddler wise, preschool wise, child wise and preteen wise, etc. They teach that we need to stucture your child's day. Think in half hour incraments. They create 'stations' in the house and give you ideas for what to do in each station. Some of the stations require time with siblings, time with mom and time alone. It works great! Set the timer and do it. When they hear the beep it is time to clean up and do the next thing.

Stucturing your child's day really help keep the 'fire's' down. You will know what everyone is doing and where. This will require some gradual change especially for the 4 year old but they will catch on quick.

PM me if you would like to talk further. I have tones of ideas and I can send you a list of the activities you can do for certain age groups.

Good Morning,

I agree with the other mom on sleep. If the sleep is not adequate at night that can cause problems during the day...
But I am also responding to the question about treating the 2 year old different.

They are very smart and he is learning from your four year old. So no I do not think treatment should be different. Keep discipline fair across the board or there will be hard feeling between the two.

The discipline should also be done out of love and not frustration, so if you do get to a point where whatever type of discipline had to be administered take a breather, figure out what discipline will be used and stand your ground.

Kids are very smart and if they sense division in parenting they will use it to the full. They also try to get away with whatever they think they can.

I have a book entitled "The Key to Family Happiness" if you think you are interested in reading it drop me a line and I will send you one. It was extremely helpful with my newly formed stepfamily.

First, I have to say we have ALL been there, but that doesn't mean there is a sure-fire solution. My strategy is to 1) divide and conquer: separate them as much as possible, preferably with other authority figures (e.g. your husband could take your daughter on a dad "date," to a movie, to a park - whatever and leave you and the toddler for some one on one time, and/or they can take turns going to "Grandma Camp," playdates, etc. 2) I find my older son has always been heavily invested in rule-following (like most first children). My middle kid is completely wild and rebellious. Time outs work for my oldest but only withdrawing privileges works effectively for my middle kid ("If you are going to fight over that toy, it will get put away until tomorrow." or "If you continue with that behavior you will not get dessert until Saturday.") As far as time outs go, I think 2 might be a little young for them to "get" why they are having one. My 2 year old is almost 3, and we are just starting to do time outs. The rule I heard was no more than one minute per years of age. Having said that, time outs can be more than just behavior adjusters - it can be a means to separate. Sometimes, in a very loving way, we would put the baby in his crib with a toy and suggest he may need five-ten minutes to calm down, close the door and take our own deep breaths. Oh, and 3) get them outside - particularly boys seem to really need to run, run, run. When my boys get wild, I just say, "Outside!" and they go. they may still be wild, but they are farther away from me. 4) Read to them - kids love to be read to and Mrs. Piggle Wiggle is GREAT for kids who are acting up (all about "cures" for bad behaviors). Good luck!

Check Parents Magazine (On-line) I have found many helpful articles dealing with Sibling Rivalry on there. My children are 14 and 8, and I used Time Out for both of them starting at a young age. I was told it was a minute for each year of life. The only thing 2 year olds do not understand is time, therefore you must discipline in the moment and not wait, or say if you do it one more time you are in trouble....they do not understand chances. I used a Car seat from time out it sat in the hallway away from TV view and they sat there until their time was up, I also used a timer so they had an audio clue of when time was up. It also helped me to not overlook the time (2 minutes goes by pretty quick). As for the sleeping in your bed, you need to break that I have a neice who just started sleeping in her own bed and she is 7.