Help, 9 Year Old Son with Issues in Class, Started THIS YEAR!

I agree with getting the school psychologist involved. Since he is new to the school, perhaps he is not adjusting very well? The psychologist and teacher can help him out with that as well as other issues. Good luck - moving is hard. I moved in second grade to a school filled with nasty kids. Life was never the same.

well, it could be a lot of things. maybe there's a bully. or a pretty girl. or nightmares. or a physical illness.
parenting means being a detective sometimes. it also requires that you stay calm, thoughtful and patient.
it's great that you're in communication with the teacher. keep that up. maybe have a chat with the school counselor.
don't grill your son. he may not understand what's going on himself. i wouldn't go nuts on the rewards (or punishments) either. sometimes the best way to elicit information is to come at it sideways.
cars are a great place to chat. opening up conversations with him by recounting to him some of your own experiences from school at that age might encourage him to share.
it might also be helpful to assist him in creating some coping techniques if he's getting distracted in class. again, the teacher and counselor could be great assets to you in figuring this part out. maybe he needs to sit in the front row. maybe sitting in the classroom during lunch actually works for him, being able to do the work quietly and without other kids around (i assume he still gets time to eat, right?)
maybe he needs a worry stone to rub, or a little mantra to repeat.
but don't overwhelm him with stuff. observe more than you talk, don't rush to punish and dangle rewards, and don't freak out.
let us know how it goes.
khairete
S.

Did you ask your son why he doesn't complete his work at school?

"The teacher tells me, he will sit and look at his class work for an hour and out of 20 questions, he may ATTEMPT to do 3 ... "

Did you tell him this and ask him what's up?

I would talk to your son first. The other thing I would do right away is set up a meeting with the teacher. Ask her many, many more questions. Has she spoken to him about this? Are there distractions? Does she play music while they are working? Are the directions clear? Why (on earth) is a 4th grader given an hour to do a task? That is a heck of a long time!!! Is he having trouble with the assignment? Is he having trouble focusing at school. Is this generally right before lunch/recess or right after lunch/recess, which are the toughest times of day for many students to focus. What else is going on during these times. Details, details.

Make an appointment with the teacher. Communicating back and forth is good, but sitting down in the same room is better.

If you are able to, try to stop by the school and observe in the classroom for an hour or so. I learned sooooooo much about my daughter as well as the other kiddos from volunteering in the classroom.

Have you talked to your son about it? What does HE say?
If he says "I don't know" then schedule a conference, for you, him and teacher to come up with a plan.
I'm sorry but as a parent and former school employee this just seems so obvious to me :-(

I was going to suggest the same as moms below - any chance the school psychologist or another teacher could sit in and observe? You must feel so frustrated.
My kids switched schools around that age. One thing one of my kids did to fit in was to look like he didn't care about work. It was ridiculous - because he's an A student and super bright. He did it again when he switched to Junior High. It's probably not the same thing in your son's case, but there can be social reasons they don't perform at school. For me to uncover it, I had to do a lot of listening. I put two and two together after I listened to him feeling he didn't fit in. So how is your son adjusting overall? Friend wise? etc? Sometimes it all comes into play.
Some teachers are better than others too at figuring out how to help kids work. We had a teacher last year who embarrassed one of my kids (didn't mean to I'm sure, but her manner was a little off) and so my child stopped trying. Didn't want to share her work. We just got through the year I'm afraid and continued to encourage her at home. I also worked with her to help her with her skills. Sounds like you are already doing this. Are there areas of school work he's having a hard time with in class? If she can pinpoint what types of school work is causing him the problems, that would help. Maybe it's math but he's bringing English home - so maybe you're not seeing what the problem is?
I wouldn't threaten him. Changing schools and moving is hard. I'd encourage him. If he feels you are on him and teacher, sometimes that's too much pressure. Good luck :)

My first thought is that you can't do as much from home as you think, if the problem is at school.

I'd ask the teacher if the school psychologist or other learning specialist can sit in and observe, to see what's happening when he goes off task? Schools provide intervention and assessment services free of charge.

It could be anything from distraction by another kid, anxiety, eyesight or hearing problems, sensory issues with a noisy classroom, and on and on. You need another set of eyes in there. And not yours - you'd be a distraction, an embarrassment (any kid's parent would be), and a non-objective source.

What does it mean to "sit out on lunch"? He's not getting lunch time? Or he can't sit in the cafeteria with the other kids and has to eat at his desk? No lunch is NOT okay. I actually think recess is necessary too. Maybe staying after school to do some work is possible. But also another objective observer might determine that he has issues (processing, boredom, who knows?) with certain types of work, and maybe there are modifications that can help.

Ditto Mamazita, but I also want to ask if you've talked to the school counselor? She could be a valuable asset in helping figure this out.

If you don't work outside the home and could come in and volunteer, as Suzi says.

Try to make the teacher your ALLY. Don't go in making it seem to her that you think it's her fault. (I'm not saying that's what you are going to do, so don't misunderstand me here. The point is for you to think about it before you go in and talk to her.)

Perhaps your son's delay of class work is because he doesn't want to interact with or has a problem with another student.

Your son is probably around 9 or 10 years old. This is the time when friendships and social interactions began to become even more important to the individual person. However at this young age they usually don't have a strong sense of self and a clear understanding of consequences to actions. He may be wanting to impress another kid. Not logical behavior but it makes sense to him.

If he has a good relationship with his big brother, he may be willing to tell him things he hasn't told you.

Keep plugging away to get to the bottom of this. Good looking out single mom.

The teacher YOU know and the teacher YOU SON knows may be to very different people. My daughter had the same rotten teacher for 1st and 2nd grade. I thought she was a nice competent teacher, this was the person she showed me and other parents. Turns out she was mean to the kids. She called my daughter stupid and lazy. My daughter is dyslexic and very smart. When I had her diagnosed in 3rd grade and told this teacher she responded by telling me she didn't believe in dyslexia some kids were just lazy and stupid.
I suggest you find a way to listen in without the teacher knowing. Sit in the hall outside the classroom or stand outside the window and hear what she is saying when she thinks no parents can hear her.

It could be a bad fit between your son and this particular teacher. Next year is coming soon. A bad fit does not mean either one is at fault, it just means that some teachers' personalities work better with some kids, and vice versa.

i would start with moving him to another class, rule out other children or the teacher in that particular class. go from there...

i like dianes idea about having a school counselor or someone else sit in and observe. that will give a window to whats going on. you could spy on the teacher to see if you can hear what she is telling the students when she thinks parents are not around but make sure the principal and other school staff know what your doing and why. (to avoid looking like a creeper)