Help - 19 Month Old Escaping from Bed

Updated on August 11, 2008
M.F. asks from Jacksonville, FL
4 answers

Our 19 month old daughter has decided the last 2 nights that she does not want to sleep in her bed or her room but with us. She is in a toddler day bed with a bed rail to keep her from falling out as she rolls around when she sleeps.

She has always had a consistent bed time and has been sleeping in her bed like a champ for months. Were not sure why the sudden change. But, she now knows how to get the bedrail out and can get out of bed. She did this last night after about an hour of crying in her bed. Then she was knocking on the bedroom door. Now that she knows she can do it, she is out of there in seconds! Even with the bedrail. When I opened the door, there she stood holding her little pillow saying "night...night." But, she meant in our room!

So, my question is now that she can escape, should I just put the mattress on the floor so when she wears herself out from having a fit she can get on it to sleep? She can get in her bed but my fear is without the rail, she will surely roll off once she goes to sleep. She got her bedroom door open once so I know I need to go get the door handle covers. Any ideas or creative things you all did in this stage would be greatly appreciated! I know I am not the first to face this!

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all who provided advice. We are still having the issue which is now been going on a week. We did have 1 night where the normal routine went well and she went on to sleep when I left the room but other than that one night we are still dealing with it. She typically screams when I leave the room and then moves her bed rail out and gets out of the bed. So, once she does I go in & put her mattress on the floor so I do not have to worry about her falling out of bed and so that she has acccess to her mattress. I was letting her fuss and knock on her door for ten minutes and then go in and say it is night night time and continue this several times. She would go nuts in that small amount of time & even throw her books around, sling her toys all over & just destroy her room & we don't seem to be getting anywhere. So, now I am staying in the room in a chair until she goes to sleep and then I leave the room. She does wake up once or twice in the night and reacts in the same screaming hysterical manner. If I go back in the room she will lay on her mattress on the floor and go back to sleep and then I leave again. She has a convertible crib so it has 3 sides but the standard bed rails are the full length of the crib mattress & really I don't believe work with the convertible beds and are meant to be used between a standard mattress & box spring. I don't know why these convertible cribs/toddler day beds do not come with a rail. Anyway, she has learned to push it and it will move from the bed enough for her to get out in between the mattress & rail. This worries me as I fear she could get trapped between the rail & mattress and since the rail is still there it blocks her access back to her bed. After some on line research I have found a bed rail that is specifically made for these convertible crib/toddler day beds. Not easy to find! This rail is placed in the middle and has gaps on both sides for easy in/out but still provides the protection from rolling out of the bed. It is a little pricey but I have ordered it and we'll see how it works. I believe this is just a phase that she will come out of eventually. I know at this age they can start to have anxieties, bad dreams etc. And for whatever reason she just needs a little extra at bedtime right now. So, rather than going through the crying & screaming I am just staying with her until she goes to sleep and again if she wakes up in the night. I guess right now she just needs that and I want to do the right thing for her the best I know how. I do try our old normal tried & true routine and leave initially but once she starts I just go in and she is content to go right back to her bed and it is a much calmer situation. It doesn't take too terribly long and I do believe it too will pass as it did in previous infant months. I am of course open to any more suggestions and appreciate everyone taking the time to share your opinion and/or personal stories.

More Answers

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L.N.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi M.,
I had a similar problem when my daughter, at 21 months, got out of her crib. I got the conversion kit and it now has a half rail that allows her to get in and out on her own. In the beginning she would get out all the time so I put a baby gate at her door. She sleeps with her door closed and when she gets out she can open her door but not get out of the room. I would come to the door/gate and tell her to get back in bed it is night night time. I did not go in the room as I did not want her to think that every time she got out she was rewarded with more tuck in time! One night it took this going back and forth for 2 hours UGH!! It took about 2 weeks for her to get tired of the game and she now goes to bed and stays there, I have never allowed her to sleep in our bed so I did not have the issue of her wanting to sleep with us. I am not sure what you meant when you said "But, she now knows how to get the bedrail out" as I thought all bedrails where stationary. Is it a full length bed rail and if so can you get a half one so she is still secure while rolling around but able to still get in and out? I am sure that as long as you are consistent with her in what ever you do she will learn to sleep in her bed!! Good luck and hang in there!!
L.

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E.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

I had/have the same problem with my soon be 3 year old son. One time he "escaped" from his room during naptime, and I could not find him anywhere. He thought it was funny or a game that Mommy was looking for him and couldn't seem to locate him. I even ran down the street screaming his name. IT was ugly. He, also, has been sleeping in a twin bed since he was 18 mos. old and has never fallen out. THat is not to say your child wouldn't, but I digress. What I did, after consulting my sister who had had the same issue, was turn his doorknob around and lock him in. I know it sounds harsh, but at least I knew where and that he was safe. I kept a monitor in his room so I could hear him when he woke up. So after stories and cuddles/kisses, we say goodnight and I shut the door behind me and lock it. He still loves me and seems well adjusted. I don't think he will need therapy later. :)

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K.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

LOL oh my son was 18 months when we were started this. Peds said stay in the hall everytime he'd come out be there to put him right back.She will get tired granted u will too but be consistent and when u do get her in there just rub her back say prayers and have quite time the do sleep at some point . It will just be a tough week . Stay strong and know in the long run the result will be great.

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L.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

in order for things to remain safe and for you to encourage your daughter to sleep in her own bed, get a matress for the floor FOR YOU! take her back in and lay with her until she falls asleep and then you can go to your own bed. she will eventually tire of walking to your room only to be taken back and will just stay in bed. it may take a while. fyi crying for more that a few minutes is really stessful and unhealthy for her. don't let he go an hour. go in and soothe her in her room so she will go to sleep, sing to her, play music.... ask your pediatrician how long you should let her cry befor going in. she may get hurt if she continues this behavior so you need to go in and supervise her....and make sure she didn't get bit by a spider or something!!

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