He Still Won't Sleep Through the Night!

Hi:) I was out of town when this message came through, but I wanted to put in my two cents. Take it or leave it!
I wouldn't make him cry it out alone. It's a lot to ask of a child to totally change a habit that has formed over some time and to do it without any help to boot. Wean him as if you were weaning any other bottle or breast. Drop one feeding at a time. Start with the first one so you are slowly extending the time he goes between feedings. At midnight, go in and rock him or settle him, let him know you are there and leave. Do this a few times and hopefully he will tire and go back to sleep. Once he is used to missing the midnight he may drop the others as well, if not, tackle them individually as well.

Good Luck:)

i was told to try to confort him without picking him put. my son is almost 11 months old and was the same way. we tried this and it did work just took a few nights of screaming and hair pulling lol not all him.

Dear T., I understand you sooooo much. I went thru the same for 14 mo, and it is really awful, I know..I really do...
I just know that what works for some babies won't work for others...I did not tried the cry out method, I did not have the heart to do it . I really admire those moms who did it with their babies because that must have been not easy at all, and they were successful! Others tried another method and they were successful as well...So, I think that all this process of making a baby sleep well is just that..a process an a phase that each baby goes thru in different ways. I had a baby who was a very good sleeper (now he is 7 yrs old)and my 15 mo old baby boy is a bad sleeper. I tried everything until I just learned that make him to walk during the day (every day), or just play outdoors with him helped me a lot. Also, I am keeping a very strict routine with naps, you have to choose which is better for your baby (one nap A.M. and one PM afternoon, one hour each) . Probably, he won't fall asleep immediately,BUT you have to try and try again until he has a routine of naps. It is easier make him cry a little bit during the day than overnight, and that way he will learn to do it at night. My baby is sleeping thru the nights. Teething is always a big problem for them to fall asleep, so consider it too. Feed your baby at regular times but do not let him go with the bottle too late or just right before going to bed. It is not good.
I hope this helps you a bit more, I know how tired you are..how exhausted and every single detail in a daily routine in the house is a world!!!
Good Luck..

A lot of people here will disagree with this because I know a lot of moms on the boards don't believe in the "cry it out" method. BUT, I had the same problem with my daughter when she was about a year old. I was also pregnant, so I was really exhausted and finally went to her pediatrician. He is a father of triplets and said the most effective way to get your kids on a schedule is to just let them cry it out. At the time, when I tried that, my daughter would actually get so worked up that she would puke! But, I trusted him, so I did it. He said that if I go in when she pukes, then she will "learn" that if she pukes, I will come in. So, I would just go in after she would fall asleep and clean things up. She always stood when she cried, so it was only a little on the floor. There were nights when she would wake up and cry for what seemed like forever! It bothered me so much, but he said they learn very quickly so if I stuck it out, it would only take a few nights before she'd stop crying so much, and possibly sleep through her first night by then. Well, he was right! It was on the fourth night that she slept the whole night through for the very first time ever!!!! Now, she is a wonderful sleeper. I truly believe that kids only do what they're taught. If you teach them that when they wake up, all they have to do is cry and you'll come running, then they're going to wake up and cry until you come. Once you teach them that at night you're not coming, they'll learn to comfort themselves when they wake up and fall right back to sleep on their own. It's hard, but it's what's best for the mother AND the child if everyone's getting an adequate amount of sleep. I think that letting my kids cry it out was one of the best decisions I made when it comes to nights. I lay my kids (now 3 and 4) down at 8 and they go right to sleep. They sleep until between 7-8 a.m. If they happen to wake up crying, they have to put themselves to bed the following night and if they're waking me up more than once on those nights, they get a spanking. Of course there are exceptions, like when they're sick, but otherwise, they know that "nighttime" is "sleeptime" for everyone in the house. Women have different excuses as to why letting them cry it out shouldn't be done, but my kids are wonderful kids that are independent and I'm a loving mother who gets her much needed sleep.

I would take your own suggestion... a week or 2 of sleepless nights by taking the bottle away would be much more bearable in the long run than who knows how many more months of waking up in the middle of the night. give him 1 sippy in place of that bedtime bottle & when he wakes for the next one go in comfort him & rub his back whatever works for y'all...& see what happens.

I did not read all of the responses so far, but enough. I have never let my son "Cry it out" and I don't believe you should either, but I do think the bottles need to stop. First of all, he is way to old to need to eat every 2 hours, I think if you really get down to it, you'll find that he does not need the bottle, it's all about having you there.(Plus he's really to old to be using a bottle at all anymore) First of all I would start by making sure he gets a good snack or drink about 30 minutes before you plan on putting him down for the night. Then, when he wakes up the first time, do not go in right away, try to stay quiet and see what happens. If he persists ever 5 minutes, go to him, pick him up, rock him back to sleep or rub his back until he falls back to sleep, but DO NOT get the bottle out or go into another room. Try not to talk to him either. The next time he gets up, do the same, but you may try waiting even longer to go in the room, as long as he's not screaming or crying really hard. With my son, we found it helped if we has a constant noise in the room, like a fan, or a CD player turned down really low and set on repeat. Sometimes it was just the stillness in the night after we went to bed that woke him up. I'm sure if you talk to your Ped about this, they will agree that the bottles during the night should not be happening. I know you have been given alot of advice already, but trust me, I tried the Cry it out method and all it did was make me cry, so I do not recommend it to anyone. Good luck.

Hey I don't know if this will help or not but my baby is now a year old and she was the same way when she was nine months old she would wake several times a night and all the drs said was well she doesn't require as much sleep. That was no help I tried the book the no cry sleep solution and it did not help us i have herd it helped many others. My baby had to have tubes put in her ears at 9 months and was not able to have anything to eat or drink after midnight. So we did have to let her cry I did not want to so my husband stayed up with her until 3 am and I got up and stayed up the rest of the day we held her, rocked while she cried it was hard but the next night she went to bed and when she woke up in the middle of the night I went to her after a min and patted her back while she laid in bed yes she still cried but I didn't give her a bottle I showed her I was there and stayed there until she fell asleep that happened a couple of times that night the next night it was only one time I had to get up with her. And now she rarely wakes up and when she does she just fusses back to sleep she doesn't cry. I have always been told that it only takes 3 days to break a baby of anything and with both my children it has proved true. It was worth the 3 nights of no sleep to be able to have a normal nights sleep again. I will be the first to say I tried the cry it out one time and hated it but what I did this time was a little different I just had to stay strong and let her know that she wouldn't die with out her bottle yes she cried but I was still there for her. So its an idea. I hope you find something that works because I know what its like to get no sleep and I require a lot of it unlike my baby.

Well, it looks like I will be the only one on here to say it, but I strongly advice NOT to let them Cry It Out. There are several reasons. First, a young child has limited ways to communicate and crying is their way at this age. If you ignore it, they do not stop crying because they stop needing you or something else, they stop because they have been taught that no one is listening. That is not ok for my kids. Second, by allowing them to cry in their crib when they may be scared, lonely cold, hot, hungry, etc you are not meeting their basic needs and you are breaking that sense of trust that they have with you. Third, you can see from just about every post that advocates Cry It Out, that there is still a sense of guilt. How can anything that is GOOD for your child make you feel guilty?

I highly recommend a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution. It helped us tremendously. I do agree that the need for the bottle at night should be worked on. But there are gentler more loving ways to do that than taking it away cold turkey and leaving him to cry. Have you thought that maybe his nighttime calls to you are less about the bottle and more about wanting more time with Mommy? I know that if I am gone more than usual, my 14mo wakes up at night for a while because he 1. wants to make sure I am there, 2. wants more time with me.

Just my thoughts. Good luck. I would definitely talk to your doc and see if they have any ideas about getting rid of the bottle at night.

Well, for us, it took three nights to fully break the cycle, but it was broken and now she sleeps 12 hours every night (she's 11 months old). I recommend trying giving him water in the bottle if you really think he needs the bottle, but take the plunge and make a change to break the cycle.

Hi T.

I really don't have any suggestions. But I do know that most babies do not need a night time feeding past a certain age (I can't remember what age that is, but I'm sure it's less than 16 months). Also my doctor told me that it could be harmful to a child's ears to have them on the bottle past age one. (He told me this at her 15 month check up). Apparently they can suck too hard and harm their inner ears... Just something to think about.

It there something else you can soothe him with? I got to a point where I wouldn't take my daughter out of her crib when she woke in the middle of the night. I would go into her room, lay her back down and rub her back for a minute. She would usually cry when I left, but eventually she became able to soothe herself back to sleep.

Good luck!

A.

We've also done the "cry it out" method. It is hard, but it works. It took about 3 nights for our son at 10 months, and a little longer for our daughter around the same age. There were a few set-backs with travelling or illness, but they do figure it out. My kids sleep well enough now that I know I can go in and comfort them when they cry because they are scared or had a bad dream. It doesn't become a habit, but they know that Mommy or Daddy will come reassure them everything is o.k. and tuck them back in bed.

I would caution you though. . . if you decide to do the "cry it out" method, still check on your son (without him being able to see you). During our "cry it out" phase with our son, he had somehow set an alarm clock that was in him room, and it beeped for 45 minutes before I went to check on him. Needless to say, I felt terrible! Also, my sister-in-law went to check on her daughter after quite a while only to find her daughter's leg stuck sticking out of the crib. . .

I would still recommend the cry it out method, though. We put our kids to bed awake (3 yr old son and 19 mo old daughter), and they sleep 10 to 12 hours straight. My daughter wakes up and plays in her crib for 15 minutes or 1/2 an hour before starting to call for me, and will happily spend time in her crib, even when it isn't nap time, if she needs time to chill out.

I will recommend a book for you: My First 300 Babies by Gladys West Hendricks (about $15). You might have to get it online. My daughter is a little over a year now and, because of this book, has been sleeping through the night since she was a few weeks old. The key is consistency: have a schedule, and stick with it. We have had periods (teething, travel, etc.) where she has not been perfectly on her schedule, but she is much happier and less irritable when she is on schedule. Hope that helps!

You poor thing! I thought I had it bad that my five month old wouldn't nap! We finally bought the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." The book offers different sleep solutions. We finally tried to let our baby cry last night for the first time -- She cried for 30 minutes and then slept for 11 hours. I think I cried for almost an hour. However, it was worth it. I just keep reassuring myself that she will be a better rested, happier child with a MUCH happier, rested mother! The book also offers solutions that don't involve letting the child cry it out, but they all take quite a long time. You child might be a little old for some of the methods, but, I think you might just have to bite the bullett and put up with one week of heck in exchange for a lifetime of better sleep. Hope you find something that works!

A.

My son is also 16mo. & he had issues sleeping thru at 9 months while nursing...deciding he wanted to nurse every 2 hrs at one point. We called our pediatrician & the nurse gave me some great info & followed with literature. Your dr may be able to send you some info on what to do. If you do decide to get rid of the bottle, you will probably have a rough week at this point, but once he realizes that you're not going to fold, he'll stop waking. It took Levi 3 nights to get used to the routine, but that was at 9 mo & he wasn't as stubborn as he is now! We also fed him more at each feeding during the day & not small "snacks" that he was having pretty frequently. When we did this, he was fuller & didn't need to eat at night. Our dr said that by 9 mo there is no reason for any child to "need" to eat at nighttime--don't know that I 100% agree with that, but it was good to know that may be true. Good luck to you! I know how hard it is to function with such broken sleep. Hopefully you're getting to nap when he does! L.

After 16 months you must be very tired. Another mom said she let her child just cry it out. We did this with both of our boys...neither one puked though, thankfully. We didn't do it to stop nighttime feedings because they were sleeping through the night much earlier. We did it when we they were a little younger than your son when we wanted them to be able to be put into bed and go to sleep on their own. The first 2-3 nights were rough. So if you decide to do it and work you may want to start on a Thursday night that way you'll have the weekend to rest during the day when he does. After only about 3 nights they both could be put to bed at 8:00 and would usually go to sleep on their own. I know some moms like the snuggle time but I felt they got plenty of that at other times and it was important for them to be able to independently go to sleep...that way if they did wake up during the night they could go back to sleep on their own. If you don't wnat to let him cry, you might try putting water in his bottle instead of milk. That would be better for his teeth. Good Luck!

My daughter was almost five years old before she finally slept thru the night..I broke her from the bottle and then turned around and gave her a sippie cup at nite. That was a very bad decision on my part and finally I was able to take the sippie cup at nite but she still was up and down all night. The only suggestion now that I am three kids later, is to go ahead and break him from having to have that bottle at nite, give him a drink and then put him back to bed. You may have a few sleepless nites to deal with and him crying for it, but sometimes we just have to be strong because in the end it will be worth it. It is better to break them early because the older they get, the harder it is..I have learned from experience..I did not have that problem with my other two so it does get better..hope i may have helped a little.

I know this has to be tough on you! I could not imagine still getting up 3 times a night with a child who is almost 1.5 yrs old to take a bottle! You have to stop giving him a bottle. He is too old, and the milk is going to damage his teeth from taking it at night BIG TIME. The milk residue will stay on and cause cavities.

By giving in to him with the bottles, 3 times a night you are only hurting him. It WILL be hard trying to stop this bad habit but you have to do it anyway. You can't let a child rule, even if it's with something small like this.

I would get rid of the bottles totally. Hide them somewhere, a place he cannot see them again. And make a commitment to yourself that you will NOT give him one even if it means staying up all night for a few nights. Before bed, every night, ask him if he wants a sippy cup of milk and a small snack. Let him start a new more positive habit. Help him brush his teeth afterwards and tuck him in and read a bedtime story. Talk to him a little about how he will not be getting a bottle tonight. If he starts to throw a fit you will need to try to redirect his attention to something else. This way he doesn't keep thinking about what he wants but is not getting. When he wakes up in the night just tuck him back in an sing him a song, or rub his back till he goes back to sleep. He may not like this but you have to do something or it will only keep getting worse. A few weeks of sleepless nights are a lot better than rotten teeth, and who knows how much longer of waking like you would with a newborn....You know whats best for him and you have to carry that through even if he doesn't like it. That is what being a parent is partly about.

HTH,
Leigh Anne