I'm curious if anyone out there ever chose to have another child so that their existing children had similar aged siblings. Obviously, every child should be born to parents that want a child and that will love that child rather than just to be a playmate for siblings. We have a 3 month old baby boy as well as 10 yr and 7 yr boys and have considered that we might want to have one more so that the baby has one closer to his age. Closeness in age isn't a guarantee of closeness in relationships, of course, but having a sibling closer in age might be of comfort as we age.
My wife and I are 41 and 40, respectively, so time (and luck) are not on our side. We would need to try very soon. We are both in excellent health.
Does anyone else have experience with a similar situation?
Thanks.
My Mom had my sister so I wouldn't be lonely (we are 22 months apart). We fought like cats and dogs the whole time we grew up together. I spent my time wishing I was an only child and to this day my scalp is desensitized from all the hair pulling over the years. There's never a guarantee siblings will get along. Some do, and some don't. When they don't get along, the bickering seems like it will go on forever.
Do not do it if it is only for a playmate for your 3 month old. 41 is advanced maternal age (actually this is a term that doctors use for an older mother and with it come much higher odds of pregnancy and baby complications)and there could be problems that would even preclude your baby from being able to play with his sibling.
if you want another child then great..you need to do what is right for you and your family, it shouldnt matter what other people think ..if you want it go for it!
For the past week or so I've read multiple posting from both of you, husband and wife, on this issue. I haven't ready other people's replies, I don't know what other advice you have been getting. But it seems to me that this is a major difference of opinion between the two of you. I want to urge you, rather than asking anonymous advice on a website, or asking the same question over and over to see if you can get the answer you want, I urge the two of you to seek counseling together.
Counseling is not shameful or a sign of failure. It doesn't even have to be that expensive. Having another child should not be a source of tension, and if there is tension around the decision, please seek professional advice. It will be worth your efforts!
Thanks.
I personally wouldn't.
Your youngest child will make friends, children all over the world for ages who haven't had siblings or siblings close in age to them have grown up happily and healthy.
Plus, I don't think it would be fair if the child ever found out that they were born simply because you wanted a playmate for your child. If all you want is a companion for your child, get a pet when your child is old enough to take care of one.
Good luck.
Whether children get along well and enjoy playing with each other is more dependent on their personalities, and to some degree their genders, than it is to how close in age they are. You see all sorts of sibling relationships with kids close together. And all sorts with sibling farther apart.
I have a 19 year old daughter, 17 year old son and a 5 year old son. We also considered having another child for our youngest for your same reasons. My husband and I are both 40 years old and decided a few years ago that having 3 was enough. Once your oldest hit's puberty it's a whole new ball game with different rules. Be blessed with the 3 you have and don't do it for your child, do it for yourselves.
I was an only child and I had plenty of playmates. The girls I grew up with were like sisters to me and we are still in contact at 47. I didn't miss out by not having a sibling.
My daughters are almost 10 years apart (22 and 12) and adore each other and have been good friends/playmates since my little one arrived. I don't think age makes much of a difference. Now that my 22-year-old is out of the house, my younger daughter gets all my attention. I think life is what you make of it.
i know someone who did that and said it was the best decision they made Since they younger one then didn't feel left out. Since the younger can't do all the same things the older ones can.
if you decide to have another child, do it for you and your wife, and not for a playmate. kids get over not having a playmate, but if it's going to make you miserable, it's not worth it.
I wouldn't worry about the age but I wouldn't worry about a "playmate" either. I have two older brothers (7 and 9 years older than me) and we a re awesomely close and they are my heroes!
To the comment about "advanced maternal age," I say P-SHAW!!!!
