Having Issues "Transitioning" to Stay at Home Mom

I'm here to help you.

Call me anytime at ###-###-####
or e-mail me at ____@____.com

Please feel free to visit my website at
http://www.thesecretpays.com/make$$$fast

E.

I was a corporate bigwig too. (CEO of a $20 million dollar company) and had to stop because of children. Very hard transition if you stop being you to be a Mom. What I did was I started my own online work from home business. There are so many work at home business opportunities that a Mom can do based on what they love to do! I suggest you get some education on how to go about doing it whether its an online storefront, membership site, etc... to sell your services, home baked cookies, videos on how to anything etc... Best resource right now is a book called $500 Startup. Go to the book's website and get lots of free information on video, audio, worksheets etc... You can also get the book (digital version) for free for a limited time so hurry! The book's website is www.500DollarStartup.com.

Lot's of Mom's wanting to keep their feet in both worlds (Mom and Work). Just do both. Congratulations on your new baby n a week!

It was difficult for me to make the full transition too. I was a teacher and worked part time after my son was born until he was 17 mos. I found it difficult to try and balance work and home and decided it was more important for me to stay home because I can always go back to work, but I can never get this time back with my son.

I'm pretty much a perfectionist so it was hard for me to realize I would never be the perfect mommy, housekeeper, etc. It's just too unrealistic. So, my husband and I chatted about it and decided that my most important role is mommy until our children (we have one on the way) are in school. That means if my husband comes home and the house is strewn with toys, the laundry isn't done and the dishes are piled up, it doesn't matter as long as our son is happy and healthy. My son wants my constant attention so now that he's over 2, I just try to incorporate him into all the chores (laundry, cooking, dishes, etc.) and he actually enjoys it. My husband still totally pitches in with whatever is necessary because we're on the same page. I really don't know if we could say who does more around the house because we both just do whatever needs to be done when it needs it.

We keep a huge calendar activities because I still need to have my routine. We've joined two moms' groups and Stroller Strides to stay active. Each day we can look at the calendar and go with it or toss the schedule if it just seems like we need a day of cuddles, reading, and playing with toys.

It took me awhile to stop missing my colleagues and my profession, but I've found that if I think of this as my job for now and know that I can assume a different role later, I feel very good about my decision. I'm actually pretty lucky that we're able to afford for me to stay home with our children.

Right now you have a lot on your plate. Try to enjoy the time you're going to have with the new baby and your son. That seems like enough work to think about right now! Congratulations and have fun!!

M.

R.,
Congratulations on baby one and baby two. All the best wishes and healthy beginnings. Life certainly changes when you have a baby. I too was working in a corporate world forever and continued for a while even after my baby came. But I realized my time with my son was more important.

I too had a hard time initially adjusting to a stay-at-home style. But take your time, enjoy your babies and find your rhythm. I finally found satisfaction and fulfillment when I started my own business and now I help others start theirs.

A Virtual Assistant business is a great idea and with a little help you can start it quite easily and affordably. When you are ready I’ll be happy to help.

Wishing you all the best in anything you do,
J.
http://theStartCompany.com

Hi R.,
First of all congratulations. I was in a similar position as I went to college and when I graduated got a wonderful career going in the corporate world. We had infertility problems so ended up adopting. When we adopted the last thing on my mind was to go back to work! I stayed home for about a year before I got "work-sick" as well as we started feeling the pinch of being on one income. I was introduced to the concept of a home-based business by a friend and can not thank her enough. A virtual assistant job is going to keep you quite busy and tied to your computer so I agree, that might not be the way to go with 2 babies. I work from home on "my time" around my families schedule and can even work while I'm on the road. It is very flexible and no I'm not a consultant, or a distributor and I don't do home parties (that's not REAL work from home). I would love to share more with you! Message me offline or contact me through my website if it sounds like something you might be interested in.

By the way, here is a real informative video for you
http://www.ToxicFreeFamily.net

C.~
http://www.HelpUStayHome.com

Is the main problem then that you aren't finding that you are able to take care of all the household chores? Or is it one of trying to find a new balance in the division of labor with your husband? Or are you just missing the intellectual stimulation of being in a corporate work setting?

I personally don't think all the household chores should all fall to you simply because you are at home with your child. Maybe it shouldn't remain 50/50, but it definitely shouldn't be 100/0. If your kid is anything like mine, you won't really be able to do as much as you might think. My child requires a lot of stimulation and attention, and he doesn't really let me get much done around the house when he's awake.

If your second baby is due in a week, I think you should see how you are handling having two kids after he is born and go from there with both the "Mommy job" and any possible work from home opportunities. Will your husband be able to take any time off to stay home with you? If so, that will be a good experience for him to see what staying at home with the kids will really entail, and hopefully together you can come up with a realistic division of labor.

Good luck!

Not to question a decision you may have already made, but what about working part time? Even working from home, you are still (it seems) at the mercy of your child(ren)'s schedule and whims.

I have the situation where I stayed home for the first 15 months and recently went back to work (part time) and I gotta say, I LOVE it. I love what I do, I love my daughter and I think I'm a better mom/person for being in the adult realm half the time. I completely admire those who can stay home and I did love being with her, kept myself quite busy, but I just wasn't as fulfilled.

You said that you are "trying to keep one foot in the that other world so I don't lose it." Sounds like you know yourself. Think about the balance of mom, wife and woman.

All the best to you!
Jen

Hi R., I am an independent distributor for a gourmet scented candle company and a member of the Free to Relax Team. I love burning scented candles in my home and these by far are the best! If you are still searching for a home business I'd like to invite you to visit my website and take a look at the products. I've included a couple of links below one is to my products website and one is to learn more about the business. You can also call 1-800-925-7177 for a 2 minute recorded message.

If you'd like to speak with me, my contact information is listed below. I look foward to hearing from you.

M. C.
###-###-#### (home/office)
###-###-#### (cell)
www.marvelouslight.scent-team.com (products/info)
www.wealthwithcandles.com/M. (Free info packet and Ecouse)
www.wealthwithcandles.com/M.?more (to learn more about me)

Maybe if you treat your mommy-hood as a job and keep a schedule of stuff, you will feel more in your zone. I am business minded and I keep somewhat of a schedule, but also thoroughly enjoy the fact that I can trash the schedule at my whim. I worked full time the first 2 years of my daughter's life and, for me, working was much easier than full time mommy-ing. Don't get me wrong, I had lots of full time mommying b/c my husband would go overseas for 6 months at a time.

Enjoy this very special time, but make sure that you also make some "me time" for you and have a hobby or two that are just for you and or some gals. It will help you keep your sanity.

Not that mothering isn't a fun thing, but it can be exhausting at times if you don't balance out some "me time." ENJOY all the baby stuff and firsts. They go quickly as you will realize quickly. ENJOY!

R....

First let me say congrats on the wonderful family. Sounds like you have truly been blessed.

I too am a SAHM...and at first it was a little difficult because I am used to working "outside" of the home. But I slowly took myself out of the market so the transition wasn't as "shocking" to the system.

I think starting your own business is GREAT!! And I believe that even w/the kids...you will be able to do it.

I myself am now a SAH Travel Agent. Because I can do my job both online and in the field...it makes things a bit easier for me. As an agent...I make 70%-90% on ALL travel booked through my site (including car rentals, airfare, hotels etc).
If you want to look into my company while getting yours off of the ground...pls. feel free to do so!

www.thefabulouslife.gotraverustravel.com
www.holyteaclub.com/fabulous me (different opportunity)

S. J.

Hi R. -
I think the way to stay happy during all of this is to make sure that you do something nice for yourself daily, have time to yourself regularly (go to bookstore or spa or cafe), and don't get too isolated from other adults. Here's a book for you - "Mama Gena's Guide To Womanly Arts". This is a funny book with lots of great advice.

Good luck! - L.

Hi R., I did the same thing, and it is hard. It is life changing, and took me some time to ajust. I think the social part of it was the hardest for me. When the only people I was seeing every day was my kids and husband I felt pretty isolated. When my husband would come home, I would grill him; Who did you see today, what did they talk about? It was rediculous. He finaly told me that I needed to get out and around some people, or I was going to drive us both crazy. What I ended up doing is becomeing a consultant with Southern Living At HOME. It got me out and around other great women a few hours here and there, and it felt good! I have made some money, and I think the best part for me is that it something that is just for me. It has given me self worth. I am not just the person that cooks, cleans, and does the laundy. I am contributing to my families income, and I get to stay home with my kids. I feel very lucky.
So congratulations on the new baby, and good luck.
Dana
www.southernlivingathome.com/danacarey

Hi R., Congratualtions on the new baby. I see that you received many great idea's and just wanted to add to it. Being a sahm is just as demanding as a full time job except half the stuff we do like cleaning and laundry is very tedious and not rewarding. Not to mention the lack of adult company can make you crazy sometimes. A home based business is a great idea..It gives you a chance to be home with the kids and work around them. I suggest picking something that you really enjoy and have an interest in..I work from home and it involves Swiss Botanical skin care & nutrition. Im passionate about educating people on the benefits of products that are 100% vegan and natural so when Im working I dont feel likes its work..If you would like some info and free samples send me your info and I would love to send you some things...I think its a great idea too that your husband still helps with some of the household chores so its not 100% on you..Even though you are at home, taking care of an infant is a full time job in itself..Whatever you decide good luck with your search..D.

I stopped working at 36 to stay home with my 18 month old and newly arrived twins. It's been a very difficult transition after so many years with a great career in the corporate world. I know where you're coming from. I've found that having a set schedule (as others noted) has helped. Also, planned outings to parks or playgroups has also been good. I'm also becoming frantic to start my home based business. After being home for more than a year and a half with the kids, I've come to realize that being a SAHM is not the ideal situation for my family. I'm a happier, more complete person when I'm working. This is not to imply that a SAHM is not complete or happy, on the contrary, I find it very admirable. However, it's just not working for me. I feel that it's better for my children to have a happy, fulfilled mom than one who really isn't satisfied. I've hired a nanny for the twins while my older child is in preschool mornings. I'll build my business in the mornings and sneak in extra work time during naps. My advice is just to give being a SAHM your best effort. If you're still having problems making the transition, investigate options to integrate work and being home. Best of luck - it is a difficult transition, especially when you've been working on an outside career for so many years.

I did all the cooking, cleaning and errands before I had kids and was working out of the home. Once I became a SAHM, some of those "duties" shifted. We negotiated that he would do his own laundry and cook on the weekends. That helps out a lot. The cleaning gets done when it gets done! I think it helps for husbands to realize that because you are a SAHM, you are not HIS mom. He still needs to pitch in.

For you, I would suggest getting involved in a playgroup that meets once a week. Don't get t to the point where you are not talking with adults on a regular basis during the day.

Hi R.,

It is so hard to adjust! I went through the same thing and it took some time.

I found Scentsy warmers and I love them! They are so easy to sell and everyone LOVES them. They use a 25 watt light bulb and no flame and make your home smell so so good without the danger of flames around little ones. www.scentsy.com/shellywood I also created Mom's Chart which we are marketing through moms www.momschart.com I can't live without mine :)

It is so important to stay home with our little ones and any way us moms can stick together and help each other :)

Good luck,
S.
button-style link

Well if you are used to the schedule and regement of the corp. world create that at home. Make a schedule for your days! Schedule in breakfast, cleaning, laundry, nap time, play time, errand time, etc. Get one of those big desk calanders and hang it on a wall and use that to create your new 'corportaion', your family! Good luck! : )

Hi R.,

I imagine you are doing a bit better with your transition.

When I did the same as you...I found the www.wahm.com (messageboards) to be a wealth of information.

It is helpful for so many reasons. Helped me organize myself, learn about online resources, meet other work from home moms (and dads) also helped me meet people in my business. I have made some wonderful friends there. If you do go look me up. (SFerber) Take care and enjoy the best job in the world!!! MOMMY EXTRAORDINAIRE

Best wishes to you with your family.

I too am struggling with being home all day long. As a daycare provider I can not leave my home most hours of the day and I have limited contact with other adults and I hate cleaning. I used to teach for Alvord USD and when we moved I decided to stay home. I really miss teaching, but there are no jobs right now.

What has really helped is making friends with a neighbor. We will go on walks together and take turns watching each others kids while the other does the grocery shopping, runs errands, etc. I will also occasionally have help come in and have the house cleaned. For now, see if there are any classes you can sign up for through the Parks and Rec Department, which will allow you to get out there and meet other Stay-at-home Moms. Maybe look into taking classes at night next Fall which will help you keep a foot in the corporate world. Gotta run!

Dear R.: God bless you! Here you are, due in one week, and anticipating being home with a 17 month-old and a newborn any day now. That alone is quite a calling! And then making a HUGE transition from "corporate work" mode to full-time stay-at-home-mommy mode. Whew! Be aware of what might present challenges for you: boredom, loneliness, looking to your husband to encourage you and support you in ways he's not used to doing, feeling "needy", and going stir crazy. Let me make a few suggestions: find a suppport group of other moms like a breastfeeding support group (if you're breastfeeding), or a mommy and me type class, library story times or park playtimes with other moms for your 1 1/2 year old. It's best not to try to recreate your corporate world life, but find support in your new world with other women who are experiencing new babies and toddlers. I think for women it's in that context that we find encouragement and practical tips to embrace the calling to be home full-time. Also, look into ways to have a weekly time with your husband without your toddler (newborns usually come along with you rather easily) so that you have a a time every week to talk to your husband - a "date" if you will. If you belong to a church, find out what's available there for moms, or women's ministries. God bless you!

Hello R.,

I'm a jewelry consultant for Cookie Lee. I invite you to look at my website: www.cookielee.biz/jackeepalijo. If you're interested, let me know.

I am also a Marketing Executive for Melaleuca, The Wellness Company. Since you have another baby on the way, I suggest you try out some of the products. They're HEALTHY and SAFE for your home environment...especially around the kids. If you would like to host a home show, let me know. You can also host a jewelry show for Cookie Lee.

Good luck!

J. (____@____.com)