Having a Hard Time...

I am the lucky daughter of wonderful parents. They have 1-2 drinks a day (they like wine) and I never felt that they were addicted to it. I rarely drink (once in a blue moon and that's it). So what you are describing doesn't seem to be the behavior of an alcoholic.
That said, I also have a couple of friends who have had alcoholic parents (and believe in genetic dispositions to addiction) and have decided that they wouldn't take any chance that this could happen to them. So they just never drink. They have their own ways to unwind from the day: bath, tv, walks...

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Just the fact that you're so aware of it, I would tend to lean towards NO, you are not an alcoholic. You are not dependant on it, you do not HAVE to have it, you don't go through withdrawl symptoms if you don't drink... you simply enjoy it, it's nice to have a drink or two in the evening to help unwind... that's it, end of story. I personally have a drink or two most evenings, and I've known some alcoholics and I am NOT one of them... and neither are you. I do think you might want to consider therapy as far as handling your mothers alcoholism, but otherwise, drink on honey and RELAX!!

I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 6 years. If you want to talk - you can send me a personal message. From what you have outlined - it doesn't seem to me that you are an alcholic. I have a 20 question pamphlet that I can send you if that would ease your mind.

J.

It is really scary to be the child of an alcoholic. It can screw up a lot of stuff, I know. It doesn't really sound like you have a problem, and just the fact that you're thinking about in those terms, probably means you don't. Having a drink or two a few nights a week is okay. You've seen your mom when she's drinking and you probably know (or at least your husband should) that you don't act like that and you don't NEED alcohol the way she does. I would suggest maybe finding a support group to help you talk about some of your concerns and issues. Alanon is a nationwide group and I'm sure there's one in your area...try Googling it.

It is totally possible you can turn into an alcoholic, it is genetic. BUT...again, the fact that it's forefront in your mind is a good thing. Also, most alcholics and other addicts have a point in which everything shifted for them. A moment in time when something happened and they stopped coping. If you find yourself using alcohol as a coping mechanism instead of dealing with your issues head on then you need to get help immediately.

It sounds to me like you're totally normal! Hang out with your hubby and enjoy a glass of wine or two, it's okay.

I agree with Dawn. You should go to Al-Anon or get into therapy to help you deal with your mother's alcoholism. Just because you enjoy a glass of wine or two, several nights a week does not make you an alcoholic. Even looking forward to that glass of wine does not make you an alcoholic. It's just one method that you use to relax. There are others you could try - cup of tea, warm bath, etc.

My mom was an alcoholic and was only sober the last 10 years of her life. I enjoy a glass or wine or two several nights a week - doesn't make me an alcoholic either. I don't drink to get drunk or to forget, and I also can stop drinking alcohol after a glass or two (my mother never could stop once she started). I've also been known to not drink if I'm driving. I bet you do that too.

I think the real problem is with your mother. Go to Al-Anon or therapy to sort that out.

You know, IMHO you are not drinking excessively (and I'm really judgmental about these things because of my past relationships) but you're on a slippery slope. You crave a drink and feel guilty, but drink. That's worth avoiding.

If you're worried, just stop drinking. Period. If this tendancy is in your genes and you crave a drink weekly (I don't, I drink very occasionally, just to say that we're all different) why not just nip it in the bud? Is it worth the stress? If it is, then you Do have to question why it is so important to you to ignore those niggling little thoughts and reach for a drink, albeit one or two.

I think you should stop drinking at all. I don't think you are an alcoholic, but since you grew up with one and have seen how bad it can be, and since your mom didn't teach you better ways to unwind, then you should stop cold turkey. That way, if something hits you in your life, like a major life stressor such as divorce, death, or serious illness, you will not want to start heavily drinking. Now is the time to preventatively find other ways to destress. Drinking a beer or two is not the best way. There are more healthy ways. Even if you never were to become an alcoholic, why not look for alternatives to cope with stress so that when a catastrophe occurs in your life, you have a really good way to deal.

No, you don't sound like an alcoholic. My grandfather was a RAGING alcoholic until he died, so my mother and I are both very aware of alcoholism. That being said, we have a glass of wine most nights of the week. We never get drunk and we rarely have more than one glass. I don't drink beer or any other kind of liquor (mostly because I can't stand the taste of the stuff and not because I'm afraid of liking it too much). You obviously know your limits and are in full control. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a glass of wine in the evening (I type, as I sip my wonderful Riesling). Cheers!

I'm sort of like Markasa. I'm 43 and have really only had maybe 20 drinks my entire life, if that many. I do like some of the fruity ones and have had them (and only 1) at a fancy business function or something like that. My mom was a single mom, I'm an only child and her and her boyfriends drank ALOT as I was growing up. Not a good enviroment. So very young I decided I was not going to "drink". None of my boyfriends, my ex husband, nor my current husband are drinkers either. We don't drink at home at all. I have never seen the point of it. Its expensive and usually leads to no good. Just my opinion and thought I'd share. Good luck and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

1-2 drinks a few nights a week does not CURRENTLY make you an alcoholic, but it was disturbing to me to hear that you "crave" it!!! Alcoholism is a disease, and it is hereditary. Find and join a group for adult children of alcoholics. They will help you immensely. In the meantime, stop drinking for one whole month. If it's not a big deal, then go back to your occasional drinks with your husband. If it was horrible for you to abstain (and especially if you are not able to abstain for a whole month), then you have a problem that can easily escalate into something you can't control

I'm 41 years old and in my entire life, I've had a total of 3 drinks--all fancy drinks from Applebees. Now, after having those drinks, I've never craved them again. I've never tasted beer, wine, or hard liquor straight, except whatever was put in those drinks. Alcohol is addicting and I have an addictive personality. Both my parents were heavy drinkers and when I was growing up, some pretty scary things happened when my parents drank, and I promised myself that I would not drink because I would NEVER want my children to witness what I witnessed. I believe that if your parents drink, your chances of drinking are higher than someone who comes from a family of non-drinkers. Now, my two siblings both have drinking problems. My brother is a depressed drunk and my sister is a denial drinker (while polishing off one bottle of wine every day). I think that if you realize that you "need" to have a drink to relax, then you may have a problem or at least the beginning of a problem with alcohol.

Just my opinion,

M

2 drinks, four times a week, especially wine, is NOT an alcoholic. Listen to your husband.

If you are worried, then do something different. Sure I'll have a glass of wine once a month (usually with a slice of Stilton or favorite blue cheese) or so, but I also relax with a cup of herbal tea or ice tea. Or I'll have a yogurt smoothie. There are so many things you can drink which have no alcohol. My husbands cousins all come home from work and get soused every night on gin and scotch. Slurred speech and everything. I used to be able to drink anything in collage. Sometime in my 30's I started getting bad splitting headaches if I had even 1 beer. Now all I can drink is an occasional wine or hard cider. Considering some of the family members I have who are alcoholic, it's probably a good thing.

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http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/alcohol-use/alcoholuse-a...