Our son is almost 3 years old and he has refused to nap for months now. He would nap at daycare but really tries to refuse it in the day. We have tried having him sleep a little less at night, we have a consistent schedule, and he obviously NEEDS a nap b/c he totally falls apart in the early evening if he doesn't have it. Starting in the morning, he will say, "i don't need a nap today. i'm not tired"....like he is dreading it. Then, when it is time to have "quiet time" he gets really revved up. We have now taken his books out of his room b/c he was tearing them up. He turns up his sound machine. He runs around naked. It seems like he mostly wants the attention of me coming into his room to tell him to be quiet. Sometimes I will suspect that he doesn't need the sleep but then he is a trainwreck without it. There has been lots of transition in the past few months so it is probably related. But, for example, right now...he has been in his room for almost an hour...going bananas and finally, after I took the sound machine out and he cried...he collapsed into sleep. Any tips on how to deal with this??
My son did this at 3 as well. I was a SAHM, so I would time my grocery shopping etc... to be driving around "nap time" and he'd sleep in the car. That did help. :)
WoW! and I thought mine was bad at distracting himself to sleep! We give mine an iPod and he listens to music and usually will go to sleep.
He may just need you to sit in there for a few mins to make him wind down. I know it is a hastle. Sit on the edge of his bed and rub his bakc or pat his bottom.
Most important, be firm and consistent. He is going crazy because you are letting him get away with it. Stick with whatever you decide.
Good luck!
you could try having "quiet time" out of his room. he might nap in the hall or on a sofa in the living room. he needs to choose a spot and stay there, he can bring a book, but if he tears it, then no books. He must be quiet. You need to stay near by and read your book at the same time until this phase is over. Many 3s don't need a nap, but if he falls asleep he does. you could also do your errands and let him fall asleep in the car. If your drive is 30 minutes that should be enough to keep him going.
Good luck, it's a tough age.
K.
I would just tell him that he doesn't have to sleep, but he has to have rest time. My daughter has been fighting it too lately, but she has a little brother that naps in the afternoon, so she goes in her room at the same time and is not allowed to come out until he gets up. She usually talks to herself and plays pretty quietly for awhile and ends up falling asleep eventually. If she is still asleep when my son wakes up, I go and wake her up. Give him some things that are quiet that he is allowed to do in his bed, like read, play with stuffed animals, or whatever, but get them into his bed and tell him he can play quietly there. Maybe if he knows he isn't being forced to go to sleep, he will just play himself out. It's all about control for them, so if he thinks he's allowed to stay awake, he'll be more likely to lay down in the bed and do something quietly and will probably eventually fall asleep like my daughter does. This is a tough one because I think she is on the verge of not needing the sleep anymore either, but it's day by day with her. She was really tired today and fell asleep right away and yesterday she was up there for over an hour and a half before she went to sleep. She probably could have done without one yesterday, but I need the quiet time for my own sanity, so she will continue to play quietly in her room when brother is sleeping. Hope you find something that works for you guys!
When my son was about 3-4 years old he decided he was too big for a nap. We stopped calling it nap time and referred to it as quiet time. It would start with me reading to him and then telling him he had to play quietly in his room until the timer went off. The little bit of quiet time with me helped settle him down. We would give him a choice of quiet time activities that he could do. Ironically he would often take a short nap during the quiet time. We continued this when his sister was born and called it family quiet time. When he realized he was not missing out on anything because we were all being quiet, he thought it was a good idea.
P.
Transitions often disrupt children sometimes for a long period of time. My daughter quit napping at 2...at first I fought it trying to make her take one and I found that it wasn't worth the fight for me. I just make sure that she's in bed at around the same time every night. Try putting him to bed at around 7 or 8. Try to anticipate what time he will fall apart and before he goes crazy start your bed time routine. For us it's Dinner, bath, a little bit of tv or computer games and then bed! Trust me the bath helps so much...the warm water calms my daughter down when shes out of control. I hope this helps and good luck...I have soooo been there!
I have had the same issue lately with mine. What has worked for me is that I have increased his physical activity during the morning, which makes it easier for naps. I turn off the cartoons sooner, and we go outside..and we play and play and play, then eat lunch, and he plays for a little while more..and I moved nap time to around 2pm. He sleeps for an hour..and I wake him up at one hour or else he does not sleep at night. This is the perfect amount of sleep to get him through the rest of the day. I simply explained to him that he is a grump and that he has to nap one hour each day. No getting out of bed, no toys, and if he SLEEPS, then he can have a reward..yes, bribery, but after dealing with him when he doesn't nap, bribery is a level I am willing to sink to. Our treat is an all fruit, no sugar added HEB popsicle. He LOVES them, and they aren't junk, so I am willing to keep giving them to him if he sleeps, and he does! If he just plays awake, that is fine, but he has to stay in bed. Hope that helps.. I know how hard it is dealing with a bear at the end of the day. Good luck!
My son started to phase out of naps around 3. I started quiet time instead of nap time. Some days he fell asleep, most days he didn't.
It could also be a phase. When my son was not quite 3, he still needed a nap but refused to nap in his room. I allowed him to take a nap in my room with me. (I'm in nursing school, so any nap time was a blessing for me too) This worked for awhile until he decided that he just did not need them anymore.
My son does nap at daycare, but he gets up at 6:30 am. If he gets up past that time, he does not nap at daycare. On the days that I am home, I let him sleep until he is ready to get up (usually close to 7:30 am).
Now that he is 3.5 we still have quiet time but it is not in his room. He has a quiet activity (reading, puzzles, coloring) for about 30 minutes. It is usually enough to get us through the day without a meltdown.
It is also a good time to get errands done. Yesterday, I brought a little blanket and pillow for him to put in the cart while I shopped for some much needed supplies. On the way home, he fell asleep in the car.
I would say the best thing for us, was to accept that a nap is unlikely. I decided that it was not worth a huge power struggle. The good thing that came out of this is that he goes to bed much earlier now (instead of close to 9pm it is now closer to 7pm). He also falls asleep much faster at night. Now I have more time in the evenings with hubby or more time to study.
Good Luck to you and your son.
I am the caregiver for my 4 and 5 yr old granddaughters and this is what I have found: even the ones that seem to not need naps at this age really do benefit from them! Our 4 yr old has never been a good 'self comforter' and sleep and nap time were terrible with her mom. Now I have her 6 days a week and have put the burden of going to sleep or laying quietly at quiet time on her shoulders..in other words, I have told her that I KNOW she understands and can make the decision to be quiet at quiet time. Day one, everything out of the room but the bed and blankets and one favorite stuffed toy. Go potty, wash, to the bedroom. Any noise or hint of not co-operating and I shut the door. That is it...I do NOT enter the room again until the time is up and it is time to get up. I explain that the first day she does it correctly, she can add one thing back to her room...if she looses it again, she looses that item out of her room again. There is a great book called, Have a New Kid by Friday and I suggest reading it. I had to look at my motives and reactions...then take his ideas and use them...say it once and walk away and don't look back! Guess what, it works!! I have been using his ideas for a month..about the time ours gal turned 4... and this week things have been crazy..she has had to nap in 3 different rooms on 3 different beds and quietly laid down and went to sleep! Hint...we tend to treat our kids like they are stupid....LOL...I know, we don't mean to, but if we enter the area time and again and warn them over and over, what message are we giving them?? I don't think you are smart enough to get it so I will keep on and on about it? This really opened my eyes to some of the things I was doing. Also, on any days she did not actually sleep, when she started to fall apart in the evening, I would tell her..."honey, I am so sorry you are having a hard time tonight, but it is bc you didn't take a nap today. When you don't nap, you get cranky." After a few days of hearing this, when she would start, I would ask her what she thought was wrong and she would say she was cranky bc she didn't nap! Also, when she would want to talk about nap time earlier in the day, I would tell her we would talk about nap time at nap time, then stick to my guns.
She is an extremely strong willed, explosive child and using these methods, she/we, are doing so much better.
Hope this helps and hang in there. GramVal
I don't know if this will work for you but my cousin lets her son have "rest" time in the living room watching a movie. It is usually a quiet non exciting movie that will put one to sleep if they are tired. Then the stress of taking a nap is off because she doesn't tell him he has to take a nap. It is just a time in the afternoon when he can't run around or talk he has to be quiet and rest. The quiet and rest is beneficial to some kids and if he is able to nod off then it is a huge bonus.
We went throgh this to! My son was almost 2 and in daycare when he stopped taking naps! The afternoons were hard b/c I knew he needed sleep! On the weekends, we would just have down time during nap time. I told my son that he had to stay in his room in his bed and that he didn't have to sleep but he could not come out until the timer went off or I came and got him. Some days he slept and other days he just read in bed. Either way helped him get some quiet time that he needed although most days he really needed to sleep!
I'm dealing with almost the exact thing right now. I don't have any brilliant ideas. I have been letting her cry and throw her fits as long as she isn't hurting herself or anything else in her room. I think she just wants me to come back into her room and it is a power struggle for her. Some days she falls asleep and others she never does and the evenings are normally hard for both of us then.
Did he stop napping right after some disruption? My son is two so I know he still needs a nap. We went away for a couple days for our anniversary and when we came home he started totally fighting his nap. I guess us leaving threw him off, he had a great time with grandma but he did not want to nap when we got home. So I would read with him, put him in his bed and tell him he didn't have to sleep but he had to rest quietly. He tried to throw a fit so I had to discipline him for that. When we tell him to do something and he tries to rage about it or just have a tantrum, he gets in trouble for that. Not for being upset but for open defiance. So you may have to go in and let him know that although you are not forcing him to sleep there will be order and rest during that time. I always thought if I had to be strict about nap, my son would have a bad association with sleep but actually it has been the opposite. After a couple tough days he was napping again for about an hour and waking up crying. Then after a week he was getting in his bed and saying "goodnight mom!" and grinning. Yesterday after about two weeks he woke up like normal just talking and playing with his stuffed animals. So I think that showing him that although there was a small disruption in our routine we his parents still had things under control and in order, actually helped him come back to sanity! Oh by the way, he would do the same thing before the nap saying he didn't need a nap today etc... So my vote is if he is in there running around and stripping just go in there and let him know in whatever style of discipline you guys use that this activity will not be accepted and let him know what forms of activity are acceptable during rest time and be firm about it. Good luck!!:)
We actually had the same issue at daycare (naps come earlier at daycare than at home) with our 2yr old daughter. The daycare moved her up to the next room where the teacher pushes the idea of "your job right now as a big girl is...". I know she uses a no nonsense attitude when she is directing the kids.
That struck the right cord with our daughter and has no problems with napping or lying down quietly during the nap time at school. We have actually started using the same terminology around the house. Our daughter will come up to us during the day and ask "What's my job right now?".
It has been an effective tool for us. Good luck with whatever you end up trying!
Blessings.
Well I have a three year old that went through this similiar and I can say yes---the chages are what made the difference...sit down and talk to him in little man terms and let him know that you are there for him, but that things do happen..I am about to go through more transitions and just know that everytime there is a change there will be mixed signals from him...his way of dealing...poor thing..not to worry---just be as honest with him as possible and let him know you wont tolerate the bad behavior and that the more that he is good the better things will be and you can do more together...start a sticker chart and be ready for a fight..make sure you make eye contact and sit him down in the morning when he is not sooo tired..good luck
Tell him he just needs quiet or rest time. (Don't call it a nap.) Tell him you will set the timer for 20 or 30 minutes. (Choose a reasonable amount of time.) And when the timer goes off he may get up if he is not asleep. However, if he is playing around you will reset the timer. Also, if after the timer goes off and he has been quiet on his bed and is still not asleep then I would put him in bed 30 minutes to an hour early that night to make up for the lost sleep.
If he continues to tear up his room, take everything out of it. He will not like an empty room. It may be a lot of work, but he will start to understand that if he doesn't take care of things he will lose them. Let him earn things back on a daily basis. If he has been good to his things all day he can earn one thing back for his room. I have a 3 year old so I know they are capable of understanding this. My 3 year old loses his blankets (he has 5). If he has been good all day long and has made good choices then he earns one back.
Good luck and don't underestimate what your 3 year old is capable of understanding. He will live up to your expectations.
the only difference at daycare than at home is at daycare the teachers will sit down and pat the children's back or rub their back until they fall asleep. try doing that until he falls asleep. it should only take a few minutes. then it will control the issue of you going in there every 5 minutes telling him to be queit and him destroying everything for your attention.
Hi L., my son turned 3 in May 09 and he's a handful. I can really relate to how your son is behaving at naptime. I've had the same experience. My son will dump everything out of his chest of drawers, take everything off his bed, sheets and all. Honestly, I've prayed over my son and it helps. I pray and ask God to give him a quiet spirit, a teachable heart that will submit to me and not rebel. It really has helped alot. I lose my cool with him sometimes and it just breaks my heart because I want to be a loving patient mom all the time. I am almost all the time, but that 1% of the time, I scare him because he's not used to me getting that angry with him. Do you get that frustrated with your son? Anyway, I can relate so much to what you've shared. Maybe we can support each other here! : )
Sorry - don't have any tips but I am going through the same thing with my 3 year old. He is a mess without naps but it impossible to get him to take one. The only way is to drive (but that only sometimes works) Like yours mine has gone through a lot of change lately - we've recently moved cities and he has a 7 month old brother. Good luck to you and if you find something that works let me know!
