S.T.
i'm of two minds.
first off, if indeed they were all handsy with each other, and you were uncomfortable, good for you for speaking up.
but i'm sensing a pretty looming back story. you were 'bullied' at your job. it's a job, it's not a playground. it caused you so much stress that you took it out on your husband. then instead of just moving on, you chose to stress madly over interviewing for a new job.
your friend comes into town to support you, and you shift the 'stress' to her. so you 'confront' her and your husband. how did that look? were you calm and mature about it, or shaking and hysterical? they suggested you trust them, the two adults closest to you in your life. and instead of using the opportunity to go deeper with them, you ran off.
when you came back expecting contrition, your clearly-upset friend reiterated that she hadn't done anything wrong. your exasperated husband laid down some parameters, which you clearly need since you haven't yet learned to lay down your own.
to you it looks like no one cares about your hurt feelings. from outside it looks like you want your hurt feelings to be paramount, even more important than your husband, your bestie and your job. and if everyone around you doesn't put your feelings first, they're going to pay.
it's nice that you can forgive them. but what if, as they point out, there's nothing to forgive them for? what if there's no 'blame' to 'deflect'?
if you can't trust your husband and your bestie together, what sort of a marriage or friendship do you have?
and a month later you're still seething.
i dunno, hon. you sound very immature to me, and as if you have a lot of self-work to do before you can actually interact in adult relationships. i suggest you ask your husband and friend for understanding, and to hang in there while you do it. then find a good therapist and start working through your trust issues, and your inability to handle everyday adult stress in a mature fashion.
good luck!
khairete
S.
