Has Your Faith or Belief System Ever Been Tested?

Whether or not your prayers have been answered depends entirely on your own ability to FIND His gifts.

And yes, my faith has been tested. Faith is a journey. And your relationship with God is like any other. You get out what you put in.

Hang tight, ok?

:)

**After seeing some of your blog, I'm wondering if maybe you're suffering from depression? Since God helps those who help themselves, maybe you need a talk with your doctor, too.

I just want to tell you how sorry I am - I can hear your fear and pain.

I also want to tell you that sometimes you have to put legs on your prayers. If your husband is causing you two to have a financial crisis, perhaps he needs to find out what life without his family is like in order for him to straighten up.

I don't know if you are getting marriage counseling or not, but you could have counseling while being separated.

I'm a religious person, but I would never tell you to just expect God to "fix" your husband.

There is this joke, well I think it is a joke. I goes something like there was this guy in his home and the flood waters were rising so he prayed to god to save him. The waters came up and flooded the first floor, a guy came with his boat but the guy waved him on saying god will save me. Then the next floor flooded and he was up on his roof when a helicopter came, he waved them on saying god will save me. So dude drown and when he got to heaven he said god, why didn't you save me? God said I sent you a boat and a helicopter!

The point is simple, you are surviving, you have a roof over your head. That it isn't exactly what you wanted doesn't mean god isn't listening or helping. If you are waiting for the perfect job or winning the lottery to be your sign from god that isn't his fault, that is your failure to see your part in it.

I was pushed well beyond my perceived limits during my divorce. God never made it easier on me he did allow me to see those limits were only set be me, not him. I had to earn a five and a half year degree in four years so I could earn enough not to lose my home. He didn't make the courses easier but he allowed me to understand the full potential of my mind.

My point is if you are expecting god to do the heavy lifting that isn't his way. You have to do the heavy lifting, god will make sure you can do it.

Yes, I have been tested. When my son was ill I prayed for a cure. Things got better eventually after many problems, but the "cure" hasn't presented itself.

I learned not to pray for specific things, but to visualize being happy. I visualize the happy feelings I want and don't try to orchestrate how I get there. I also ask my higher power for guidance. I believe I have to ask, and then must listen for the answers. That does not necessarily mean I will know right away, but I try to pay attention to signs. Things generally happen to point me in the right direction. That doesn't mean I always get what I want, but I try to hold faith in that I am getting what I need.

I always try to remember that it is not what happens to me, but how I deal with it. I try to maintain peace and grace.

Sometimes I fail miserably at ALL the above! I wonder if my faith is a sham. I quickly remind myself to ask for guidance and listen. The answers are there.

I encourage you. Hold on. Do your best to have faith and listen to the signs around you. Be strong enough to make a decision, and trust it.

Good Luck!

I was in your position in my first marriage. I'm so sorry. Praying is not always where change originates. I'm guessing that if your experience is anything like mine, your faith will help you hold yourself together while you do whatever you must do for change to happen.

When I was a kid I prayed for stuff I wanted. I was disappointed; God doesn't generally respond to shopping lists, even if what is desired is worthy and good. I sometimes threatened in my prayers that I'd stop believing if I didn't get the answer I wanted. You can imagine how far that got me. But my threats were kid stuff, as were my wishes, and I kept praying anyway.

As I matured, I learned to pray for God's will to be done, whatever that might be. It is a very different experience, and some amazing grace has come my way from these prayers. A few times, I have had prayer answered immediately and startlingly clearly, but it's seldom been in the form I might have been hoping for. Primarily, I've experienced greater happiness, patience, and a willingness to creatively help myself get to my worthy and good goals, which often include helping others who are suffering.

But one time it was a stunning healing event for an 11-year-old cat. She had been given a death sentence by 2 vets (feline leukemia), but she was so spunky, she was not giving up. So I prayed; not "God, please heal her," but "What? What is Your Will, How should I respond to this, What does this cat need (which might include euthanasia)?" After a quiet half hour of focus on those questions, I suddenly heard a voice in my head telling me what she needed, along with a tremendous rush of heat in my hands. I followed those instructions. She was well on the third day, and never got sick again. She died peacefully at age 19, a full 8 years later.

(I was sad, a few years later, not to be able to help my beloved grandmother when she was in her final illness. But again, I was praying for some specific outcome, not for God's will.)

Whatever comes of your predicament, I hope you come out the other side stronger in every way that the Divine wishes for you.

Sometimes we are praying for one answer but God is giving us another. Sometimes we are looking for God to give us the answer that we want. Maybe your prayers are being answered but you just dont see it right now? I have had many times like this where I was desperately praying and felt as if nothing was happening and things were just ballooning all over the place, but I stuck in there and continued to pray and things worked out. I wonder often if I hadnt stuck with it, would things have worked out so well? Just another way to look at prayer. Hope it helps.

Yes. I was married to an abusive alcoholic and was counseled by a preacher that I had made a vow of "For better or for worse" and I should stay and pray for him rather than leave him. I stayed and I prayed. And it damn near got me killed. Nothing improved until I got off my knees and onto my feet.

So I skimmed your blog and, at least there, your husband sounds very sweet. He had a special Mother's Day for you, took days off when you were tired, personally gave you a pedicure. So I am not sure what else is going on but to address your question...

I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic elementary and high school, and totally believe in God. I don't believe in all the teachings of the church, but our family is practicing. HOWEVER, I DO NOT believe God will solve all our problems by just us praying. Praying is a way to help us clear our minds and find answers for ourselves. We talk it out with God until things become clear. That may be one conversation or 30! We have to do the work though. We have to take action. I model this for my children all the time because I don't want them thinking they can just pray to God for a new bike (for example) and it's going to come without them having to do anything to earn it! If all you are doing is praying, then, yes, you will be disappointed most of the time.

The thing I have learned is that God listens to your prayers, and he answers them, but not in the way you expect. Like in the movie Evan Almighty, when "God" was talking to his wife and said something to the effect of "if a woman prayed for more time with her family, would God make more time for her, or would he give her an opportunity that would allow her to spend more time with her family?" God has given you tools, you just need to see them and use them. You have a job in an industry you hate, but it puts food on the table and keeps a roof over your head. I'm not sure what you've been praying for, but you can't change other people, so if you've been praying for God to change your husband, that's not going to help. Perhaps you leaving would be the wake up call your husband needs for whatever it is that you are wanting to happen. If your husband is not helping the family, then perhaps he's not the husband that you need and God is trying to show you that. There's no shame in being a single mother. There is no shame in a separation or a divorce. Just praying is not the way to get what you need. Perhaps what you need to pray for instead is the courage to do what you know you need to do.

I second Diane B's answer.

Many years ago, when I was a Christian (I am not, now, but not for the reasons I'm going to mention here), I found myself faced with the raw reality that my drug-addicted husband was not going to get himself better. He wasn't going to hold down a job for any longer than a few months.

In short, I had to accept that I'd made a terribly bad decision in whom I had chosen as a spouse, and that I would be facing certain ruin staying with him.

I prayed, a lot. Nothing happened. I went to counseling and got to the point that I had the strength to do what I needed to do. I didn't want to be divorced, but had seen enough to know that I didn't have many other options because the ONLY person who could change my situation was me.

I prayed with my feet and left. Doors opened. A dear mentor loaned me money to move out immediately. Another job as a nanny with a good family opened up so I was able to work more hours.This was because I was willing to be open and honest, to ask and to seek. I leaned in and worked on myself, not depending on God to provide, but knowing that in Christ's love that there was *worth* in my being alive, *worth* in who I was and what I had to offer. Within a year, I had paid off the loan and met my current husband.

I didn't have a child to support in all of this, but if I had, I would have humbled myself and sought out every resource possible to help with ensuring his quality of life. When I was with my ex, when he was unemployed many times, I'd humbled myself and waited on line at the food pantry. If those families who had come upon hard times could ask, with humility, for what they needed, I could too.

I'm not a Christian any more, but it wasn't my bad marriage or divorce that changed that. I prayed, I sought, and I did. In the doing, I became a better and happier person. I hope you know that there are resources available. There are people who will help-- but we have to be willing to admit we do need help from them. It's okay not to have it all together. For me, my faith wasn't about God rescuing me, it was about seeing the intrinsic value in myself and deciding I was worthy of something better than what I'd been stuck in, even though I never could have known what that would be.

The power of prayer hit home with me in July 2002.

My youngest son was born 4 weeks early. He flat-lined in my arms in the NICU - yes - coded in my arms. I typically do NOT panic - but I panicked. The nurses came in, took him out of my arms (I had tried chest compressions but I was shaking and crying). Two nurses took me out of the NICU and LOCKED the door behind me. They took me back to my room and stayed with me.

My husband was home with our 2 year old. We had no family here. Our friends were busy and had taken care of my 2 year old during the day and into the evening. My parents were due here in a couple of days.

The NICU doctor told us that he had a 50/50 chance of survival. He had pneumonia and other pulmonary issues....he had tubes and lines, etc. he was being given heavy duty antibiotics to get rid of the pneumonia. And the doctor said he would be in the NICU for 6 to 8 weeks, if NOT longer. At that point, the antibiotics weren't really helping him. We were told we were going to have bring him on an oxygen machine, have special classes for pulmonary issues, etc. before they would allow him to go home with us.

I called Father Rob (the pastor for our Episcopalian church) told him what was going on, he came in and said a prayer over him, placed Holy Water on his forehead and the church started a prayer chain. Within 24 hours of the prayer chain being started, he was breathing on his own - his pulse/ox was up to 90% - at 48 hours - he was TOTALLY off the oxygen and accepting the breast...the feeding tube was gone. at 72 hours - the doctors had him out of the NICU incubator and were amazed at his progress. He was in the NICU for 9 days total. When they released him - the doctor was VERY surprised that he was writing discharge paperwork for him. He will be 11 years old in two weeks.

Now on to you. Stop praying for what YOU want. Pray for other people. Pray that God will show you the doors or windows He wants you to see. God IS listening to your prayers...you are just soo busy talking to Him, you are not listening to His response. It's OKAY to lose "stuff" because that's ALL IT IS - STUFF. Look around at what you NEED. Not what you WANT. There is a HUGE difference between that.

Romans 10:17 ESV - So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

Jeremiah 33:3 ESV - Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

Start writing it all out. Look around you. You have many blessings around you. Now stop and HEAR what God is saying to you. Ask Him to lead you. What many people who pray don't understand - God doesn't always give you what you WANT. He gives you what you need.

http://www.jukebo.com/garth-brooks/music-clip,unanswered-...

You are NOT alone.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

There's an expression among many people of faith that "prayer is great, but sometimes we have to pray with our feet." Sometimes we have to take action. There's also the old expression of "leap of faith" meaning sometimes you have to do something without a guaranteed positive outcome - but if the situation we are in is untenable, then action is indicated even if we can't see the finish line from our current vantage point.

You're scared of losing everything - I hear you. You've also lost a lot - trust, security, happiness. You're already afraid of losing your home and being more severely in debt.

Sometimes we need to talk to someone else - perhaps there is a faith-based counselor or a clergy member who will work with you to help answer your theological questions as well as guide you in some life choices.

your prayers are being answered, but maybe just not the answer you want or are looking for. I have prayed for things and have had answers within a day. I've also had to wait years for answers. Just because you don't get an immediate "yes" answer does not mean that it's not being answered. The answer could be no, or wait or not yet. God is very mysterious. Sometimes He confuses me like crazy and it drives me nuts. But as soon as I'm patient and start listening, I usually get an answer.

Maybe God is answering your prayers by helping you to have a job so that you can help your family. Apparently God works in mysterious ways. Maybe this is a chance to reform a good relationship with your family. They may love the opportunity to help you. Take off your prickly attitude towards them, and reach out. That's maybe what God wants. And if it isn't, well, it sure is nice to have a family around.

God is listening. He is there with you holding you through all of this. Keep leaning on Him. Many times we do not know what He is doing in us while we are going through the trial. I don't know why you are going through what you are, but God is there. God will not always answer us the way we think he should. Sometimes it is just a feeling that this is the right thing for us to do. Sometimes it is a whisper inside of you. Many times it is through wise friends, Christian or not. Don't let this pull you away from God like satan wants to do. He is there with you. Ask Him to feel His presence. Ask to do His will, not what should I do. God is there. He is with you. In the end it will would out for His good, but not necessarily in the way you or I think it should. I know it is hard and you feel alone, but you are not. I will be praying for you.

If you've ever had a decent spiritual leader, pastor, etc, they have surely gone over the lesson that God does not always answer prayers, and certainly not always the way we want them answered. Sometimes you may see that you are getting what you need from a much different path than you asked for. That may be how your prayers have been answered, or maybe there is no one to answer your prayers.

When I pray, I try to avoid asking for anything for myself other than the strength to deal with what I have in front of me, an attitude adjustment if I'm depressed, relief from extreme grief, clarity, thankfulness when I'm full of self-pity etc. Not so much asking for things to go my way-well sometimes-and no-often they still don't go my way even if what I'm asking for seems nice and appropriate and "right". Now if I had a child in cardiac arrest I'd be begging and praying for them to be OK and we all know sometimes those kind of prayers are answered and sometimes they're not. Awful tragedies happen to good people every day. God's existence definitely doesn't seem to be evidenced in the fact that everyone is protected and happy.

If there's a God, he/she/it may very well see that you need to move forward in a different way than you think you do. Or maybe they just don't want to help you with this and you'll have to get through it yourself. Or maybe they're not there at all.

Yes, I have had times when prayers have seemed to be answered in pretty amazing ways. And sometimes not at all. I have faith there is a God, not proof.

You may be asking for your family to be as you think it should be, but maybe it's not a way it will ever be, and your life needs to change accordingly. Try praying with thankfulness for all you have and strength to get you where you need to be. I hope you find strength and peace.

I think you have to ask yourself what it is that you were hoping would happen that hasn't. Were you hoping your husband would do something differently? Were you hoping something would change financially so that you wouldn't have to work at this job that you hate? Would you like there to be a different job for you?

It sounds like there is something your husband is or is not doing that is really at the center of this.

The answer to your question is, yes. There have been times when my faith has very much been tested. I never stopped going to church, but there were most definitely times when I stopped praying or at least stopped having hope that my prayers would amount to anything.

What usually happened was something small, something I hardly noticed. This something (a person or event) usually distracted me from my woes and opened my eyes to something right in front of me that I hadn't noticed before. And then little by little thins got better.

I wish I could give you a magical solution, but what it really comes down to is trusting in God that things will work out even at the moment it doesn't seem possible and even if they don't work out exactly like you originally wanted them to.

You might end up with a different job. You might end up leaving your husband. You might decide that you need to just keep moving forward with things the way they are. Keep praying, and keep an open mind. That's how things will get better.

Yes.
When I was at my lowest, hustband was unemployed, I was going to be within weeks had no money to my name, was going to have to start not paying bills, was finally resigned to that fact. I had an insurance bill for $103.09. I couldn't pay it. The next day a reimbursement check that I knew was coming but didn't know when showed up. It was for $100.99. Wow, wait, maybe I can find some change in the couch to pay this bill after all. The very next letter in the mail that day contained a letter with a refund check of $2.13. The letter said "we noticed we overcharged you. sorry."

In that one day God had provide me with $100.99 + $2.13 = $103.12 to pay my $103.09 bill. With change to spare! :)

Since that day, other things have happened. All of them have provided me an financial answer with the situation 'just getting covered'.

Living through letting go is about seeing the opportunities. Yes you are praying for an answer. You have it and just don't see it. Yes you may be back at a job that you don't like, but you are working. You ARE providing a roof over your head and food on the table.

Do you have your own checking account? Do you have a credit card in your name? If you and your son leave, do you have access to money for paying rent and buying food?

http://www.modernpapyrus.org/devotionals/accepting_his_he...

Have faith in yourself, please. Have faith that you are an intelligent, capable person, who can make a life for yourself and your son. You won't lose everything because you have that. If you can envision a different kind of life, not the details, but the important parts, then you can make it happen.

The kind of "prayer" I believe in is that when you truly need help and ask for it, people will respond and help in just the way you need (not always the way you want, but the way you need). Take a quick inventory of your resources, material and otherwise (job, money, education, friends, connections...)

You've packed bags, so you've taken the first step. Now, just take the next. Don't worry about all the steps, just one at a time. You don't have to continue to allow yourself or your son to be hurt. You can make a new life, one step at a time.

Religious or not, I think everyone has been through tough times. My real name is Faith and I'm 46, raised as a Christian. When we as Christians go through something hard and we pray and those prayers aren't answered, it doesn't mean God isn't answering them. It simply means that we are going through that tough thing because maybe WE need to learn something from it. If you have faith in God, it must remain consistent in the good times AND the bad times. Your love for God needs to remain consistent also. You don't only love Him when times are good. Bad things happen to Christians too. God is with us always. You know who is really good about teaching about this? Joel Osteen. He's on cable and has books. I tape them and randomly listen to him. It's really good. I know it's hard when you are going through it and trust me, I have been through some crazy things. You have to change the way you look at things and it will get better. The issue may not get better, but the way you SEE it and handle it will. Good luck.

My faith is tested everyday. I have faith everyday. I don't always get the answers I want but I do know that God listens and answers according to what He wants for his children not what his children want for themselves. I am blessed every day.

I wonder why BAD people are not punished SOON. I know that God is giving them a chance--but it seems the suffers do not get as many 'passes'.

Maybe you should seek out some type of counseling to help you and your husband through this stressful time.

Someone once said that we should pray as if everything is up to God and work as if everything is up to us. It's good to pray for safety, well-being, and guidance, but we have to work towards those goals as well. Sometimes we need to ask others for help.

Sometimes we're allowed to experience the painful consequences of our decisions as a kind of wake up call. God wants us to be holy, but not necessarily happy.

why isn't he the one who's leaving?