Has Mamapedia Lost It's Focus?

This site was created by men... so the 'about' quote... blah blah blah.
This site was created to generate revenue. Don't for a second think anything different.
Oh and goodbye.....

Well I disagree that the "blog type" posts aren't relevant to the site's mission. A lot of these questions are about relationships with a spouse/significant other, cooking, money, school...all those tie into motherhood and can affect what kind of a mother you are or want to be.

I also understand that this might not be the kind of stuff you're looking for and that's okay too. Personally ,those are the ones I like the most I think. I get a lot out of the parenting advice stuff too, but the other questions make the moms seem more real to me.

Now I do wholeheartedly agree that people can be harsh when it's unnecessary and yes, people do get on their high horse when they can "anonymous", but I have to say I think that is widespread across life and social circles everywhere, not just here. Sometimes we forget other people have feelings...the same feelings we have no less, and I think people loose site of how to relate to people in a positive way!

Yes...it has very much changed from what it started out as. When i first signed up i got daily updates with questions in my region only and most were about parenting.
While i liked this i feel that it has evolved into something much more interesting. You just can't take it seriously. See it as a fun thing to pass a little time and don't take the opinions of those that have never met you to heart

There are many posts that have nothing to do with parenting or relative to it such as spray tanning, ovens, home staging, diets, chairs, Christmas lights, - oh wait - those are from you. I'm thinking you may have lost focus on what this site is for. Many of your questions are for you personally. I counted 13 questions, I stopped on your 3rd page of posts, that were specifically for your personal issues that had no relevance to parenting in any way form or fashion.

The occasional non parenting post is no biggie, many of us have done it. When you come here to blast others but you haven't stayed 'focused', it is kind of hard to hear where you are coming from.

You opened the door when you stated you are leaving. Those type of posts are really disliked here. Not sure what you meant to gain from this post except to antagonize. No one is going to ask or beg you to stay.

I hope you can find another website that meets your needs.

I dont understand your post. And I can see others are not understanding as well. You are usually asking about things like ovens and spray tans, and now you are complaining about posts that have "no relevance towards this website's purpose". Maybe you should rewrite this so we understand what you are complaining about. I mean I assume you are trying to help us in some way, to teach us to use this site in a better way. But you are not clear. And that is the problem here. People aren't always clear on their posts, what they are really asking or complaining about. "Tone" can be mistaken on the responses. A "mean" response could indicate a misunderstanding. An actual therapist, or paid family educator, or consultant, etc would never consult with her clients via email. But this works pretty well for a free forum. I hope you find something perfect out there!

I'm going to answer your question, but first I want you to think about why you had to put out there that you're above everyone else? Why is it that people who announce their departure seek to put everyone else down because they don't answer questions the way the soon-to-be-departed demands or expects?

Have perhaps you lost focus on what you should be doing - controlling yourself? Do you now think that you can expand into controlling others?

It has been said before - people have power when hidden behind a computer screen.

This site is the same as it's ever been. I haven't noticed a difference in quality or quantity of posts. There's an ebb and flow as with all forum type websites but I've been here since this place WAS Mamasource so take that as you will.

Usually when people get fed up with a community it's because they aren't getting what they want from it, whatever that is. I'm sorry mamapedia seems to no longer serve your needs.

I dont think it's lost it's focus.
All questions seem to get answered no matter what they are. Mom's asking other moms about daily "anything" seems okay to me.... for some this is their only outside resource while home raising little ones.

As with any social site there will become a "familiarity" with long time users, that's to be expected, we are only human...... not robots :)

First, I am not going to bash you for this question because it's run through my mind every so often.

Having used the Mamasource/Mamapedia site for over four years, this is my take on it: the site started with a very narrow focus on parenting advice (which actually drew me to it), and has since grown into a (quasi?) community, with all the wonderful varieties of personality that go with any community experience. (yes, there's a bit of sarcasm there! :) )Much like any community, people begin to go 'off' the original topic and to build relationships with others, connecting through common-ground experiences. I especially see this in the JFF variety of question.

I'd also venture a guess that some people post off topic because this is 'their group'... they don't want to go onto a different board/forum to be specific because this is comfortable for them. Some people ask questions related to their marital (as opposed to maternal) relationships because they know that other moms can relate in some way to the challenges they are dealing with. Unfortunately, because people do not post on sites that are specific to their problem (for example, there are plenty of posts I see which would be better answered on a site for coping with mentally ill relatives or cancer support boards, just to name a couple), they are going to get less-informed answers and perhaps more judgment from those who just can't relate to the problem. If one has never experienced a personal challenge of those sorts, it's easy to make assumptions.

I think the people who ask for no rude responses can fall into two categories: one group of these people really wants validation, not constructive criticism, and the other, yes, they are probably responding to the brusque candor (and at times, downright rudeness) of some of the posters. You are right... there are some people on this site who tend to 'yell' at others and seem to feel that they are going to deliver the ultimate reality check. I tend to take most of these people with big grain of salt, or ignore them, or when they've really stepped over the line and been very offensive, I might try to address it directly. Using slurs and demeaning others isn't helpful to anyone.

Perhaps this is long, but it's just my two cents...

I know, God help those who want to remember they're 'human' and not just a 'parent'... we should bring out the torches and pitch forks!!

I'm teasing ;)

Part of being a parent is learning to cope and regain sanity. Let them/us have some fun, and by all means, join in, breathe easy, and relax mama! Take what you will from the site; the rest, let roll off your back. Be in charge of your own happiness.

Everyone I know have good and bad days. If you are having a bad day and the people that respond to you are also having a bad day, you may well get a response that you view as rude.

I never answer a question that I'm not trying to help the person that asked the question. I have been called out several times because my answers weren't approved of by other readers. I always give answers that are the right thing to do regardless of what the readers are looking for. If you are having a hard time with balancing a budget, but must eat out 3 days a week, then I'm going to tell you to quit eating out, even though eating out is what you say helps you keep your sanity.

We will miss you. I hope you change your mind about leaving.

Good luck to you and yours.

I just don't get why people have to announce their departures! Then, complain about how rude everyone is, while being entirely rude.

While I pause in the profound relevance of spray tans, bounce houses, ovens, and chairs...I'll simply say...see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

Well, in the past you've asked about spray tanning, home staging and ovens ...

:) Good luck!

I agree with Megan. The "rants" don't really bother me much - sometimes people really need to get something off their chests. The ones that DO bother me are the ones so full of vitriol that the person ranting and raving and "yelling" at others seem like they are emotionally unglued.

You are NOT one of those people, Steph. I respect what you are saying here. I personally do NOT like it when people say things like "don't let the door hit your butt on the way out" and stuff like that is frequently said to someone who announces they are leaving.

I also disagree that people write this in order to be asked to stay. I AM going to say that I hope you will reconsider. Take a break. Come back when you feel better. I know there are some rude people here sometimes and threads can get toxic. Maybe with some distance, you'll be able to look past that and look to the helpful part of MP. You are a really nice person and a lot of us will actually miss you.

Dawn

Well, to me, there are so many different facets to every mom, you know?

I don't think there's a single mom on the planet I can't learn something from, about kids or about any OTHER subject.

I mean we ALL have our pet peeves, and we all have things we're passionate about. It all stems from experience, and really, that's the point, right? I'm sorry your experience has been different. I'm sorry you're missing out.

So delete away. But I have struck up an electronic relationship here with so many amazing women. It's a rich place. Least that's how I feel.

:)

Moms (and dads) come here to ask questions of other Moms (and dads). Anything goes...as it should. I have been on here for YEARS and don't think to go check on the "About" page to make sure my question is going to fall within one of the listed subjects/catagories. I simply ask a question because I need some help.

I also answer on here like I would in real life. I tend to be sarcastic and say it like I think it. Sometimes its taken wrong. I never INTENTIONALLY want to hurt or upset someone. But honestly, if you have sex...YES, YOU COULD BE PREGNANT!!! I don't even open those questions because I would be snarky on them, so I *try* to be helpful, tell personal stories of myself or those I know, and give input as I can. That's why I think Mamapedia is here. Just my opinion. Take care and best wishes for your future. =)

It seems like you have two different issues. Regarding your first, I'm not trying to bash but you have to admit it's funny you're complaining there are posts on here that have no relevance when you yourself have posted many along those lines... In terms of rude responses, I'm not sure if that's changed or not. I see them as well and they're mainly from the same people so I try to ignore them. I figure they must lead pretty sad lives to spend so much time giving people advice on everything under the sun in often a demeaning or critical fashion. I would think such incredibly smart people would have something more important to do. Seems ironic. So there are posts occassionally that complain about this but it won't change. Take the good with the bad or as you're doing, exit.

This is your post:

"I originally was not going to say anything regarding your comment. However, I teach middle school and I am constantly telling my students that if they do not like something that is being said or going on to walk away. Therefore, I am wondering why you cannot read the topic and if it does not apply to you, go to the next topic and then hit delete on your e-mail for the day. You do not need to sit there and perseverate on the topic. On-line forums open the doors for people to say or ask what they might have never been able to do. What I am about to say is very mean in my opinion, but I feel it necessary. When I see your posts, I move onto the next person. However, today I chose to speak for those that might not voice their opinion. So today, I have put myself in your category and I will own it, however, it will never happen again."

We moms are complex and the questions are about all topics. I don't read ones I am not interested in, and respond to the ones I think I have some knowledge or experience. Even though some people can be off-putting, I just ignore those people. The advice I have gotten from posts are here have been extremely helpful overall.
If this is your indeed your swan song post, then goodbye and good luck!

Yes, I think Mamapedia has changed. I've been on here since it was Mamasource, and the atmosphere is not the same. It's really sad.

I'm seeing a lot more hate and anger towards others here, ands it's not just people being blunt. For example, some people are quick to judge a post as a troll, when in fact (in my opinion) it really could be a mom asking a question. Just because the person is asking their frst question and it's a challenging or heated question doesnt make them a troll. I really miss the supportive atmosphere that used to be on here. I too have noticed the amount of questions asking others not to be rude

I agree with you, there are a lot of questions that don't have much to do with parenting, but I tend to skip those.

I try to go by the adage: If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.

Yes there are a great many different subject topics everyday, some are a little out there, but that's when if you dont want to read it, then you dont, and move on.
I think it's silly to delete your account because the "about" part isn't always correct. The list of things we all talk about on here is endless. And yes, people are rude on here sometimes, do I always agree with it? No, but can I move on and read something else? Yes.

I try to take the good and leave the bad when it comes to this site and the questions.

If you must leave, then leave and best wishes.

I honestly AVOID asking some questions here, and I think it's sad.

Personally I have gotten some VERY rude responses to my questions. And while some people say you should just "take it" or people have a right to answer the way they want, I disagree to an extent.

I've read some questions on here and thought to myself "seriously?what the heck is wrong w/ them?" LOL THOSE questions I choose to not answer. I feel like if I don't have a supportive helpful answer, I'll keep my on-line mouth shut!!
You CANNOT judge a mom's (and now a few dads) entire parenting career on the questions they ask here. On the website you are seeing questions where advice is NEEDED, not all the positive aspects they are experiencing!
And yes, I have noticed collectively a few moms and dads are sooooo quick to snap to judgement on here, call some of us out on our parenting because according to them they apparently KNOW IT ALL. And based on our questions we obviously are not the capable parents they are, and they sure are nasty about it! I have had many struggles as a parent. I was a single mom for awhile and cannot begin to list all the things I went through. And I have had some rude comments pertaining to that situation. These are the people who I truly hope REALITY and KARMA comes back and bites their know it all A$$E$. Especially when you look back on their profiles and questions and see that their kids OR KID is still a small toddler and the real struggles of parenthood haven't even begun!
Sorry you've chosen to leave this site, but I get it. Ive thought about it myself!

The questions and discussions are not restricted to only those listed in the "About Mamapedia." Those are basically suggestions for topics.

It seems you also have an issue with the "how" support is given by people if it's not saccharine sweet. Many people on here write the same way they speak and think and sometimes that means it comes across more bluntly than others would say it. Some topics require more bluntness than others. Some people have much, much thinner skin than others and think a preemptive "don't be rude" is going to keep people from giving them perspectives that aren't ego stroking and hand holding.

Sometimes there's much more wisdom not in knowing the truth or how to speak the truth, but in knowing when to remain silent.

Hmmmm... this is an interesting question. I wasn't going to answer, but the more I read it the more confused I am about what you're really asking. How would you propose that Mampedia gets it's focus back? Maybe there are questions that don't pertain to the "focus" but does the focus exclude everything else? Should they censor?

What I read about your question in the second paragraph seems more about you not liking the increase in rude responses, not really about the loss of purpose. So is your question about you not feeling supported or liking the kinds of questions that are asked because they aren't relevant to the lost focus or about the rude respondents?

I've been on here a long time. I've said before when people have posted about rude responses, that maybe there's been an increase in the "less than constructive" responses, but there's also been an increase in members. I don't really remember any "trolls" on here when I first joined. I think it boils down to choice. If you don't feel like the question is relevant to the board then skip it and move on to someone you can help or that you want to help. Have I always gotten the answer to my problem or the most helpful advice that I was looking for...? No. But I have learned a lot from people on here and I feel like I've helped some, and I think that there are still plenty of people who give constructive advice without being hurtful.

But yeah... it's your choice to leave if you don't get any benefit. I'm not bashing, it just seems sad not to be able to look beyond the obvious people who are on here for their own power trips and appreciate the many many people who are willing to share their wisdom, experience and support.

Good luck~

I think it was so much better when it was mamasource. I liked the smaller feel of it and you could connect with others. Not so much now with the site being so big and all the trolls. I just use it for what I need and move on. I personally do my best not to be critical or hurtful in any way. I honestly answer questions and give my best advice. I hope you don't let others run you off. Stay if you can get some benefit.

"...advice on everything moms need....place where moms can connect with each other...".

Succinctly put. Moms, are also individuals first. And who are we to define what advice or opinions every 'mom'-person out there needs answered each day? And like a few others said, Mamapedia is one of the very few outlets many moms have. True, there are occasional questions which look like they have no pertinence to parenting, but so long as they aren't taking anything away from the site itself, what's the harm?
We're all parents, looking out for the welfare of our children and our families. In our own different ways and thoughts. We are also people willing to accommodate other thoughts and opinions and discussions also - all different possibilities to connect with one another!
I guess the 'About' holds just fine.

Yes I have noticed this too. I have been on here for about 5 years. It has changed. There has never been so much drama on here as there is now. I still like to comment and try to help mothers out with questions. But it feels like now the Mom's on here are looking for "trolls" and call anyone this when they don't like their question. Or find it shady. Instead of just moving on to a different question. Or Moms seem to find fun in making others feel bad, stirring the pot so to speak. People don't seem to care as much in trying to word things in a nice way even when they disagree. You can disagree with someone without coming off as down right rude. So yes, I still come to this sight but it makes me sad to see so many moms bringing one another down instead of lifting each other up.

Yeah there are a lot of rude people on here, If I can't say something nice and constructive I just don't say anything at all. The thing that burns me up is when some moms don't even pay attention to details that are written or don't answer the question that is asked, they attack and derail what the question is about and nit pick on what the writer has said. But guess you get that most places, I just move on and try to forget what I read when someone is being rude. I hope you find another online group that is more supportive to your needs. Good luck! :-)

I don't recall seeing any questions that didn't pertain to at least one of the categories listed above.

I totally agree! And what are all the "just for fun" questions?? I don't have time for JFF. The one time I tried to post an alert to other Moms about paper shredders and toddlers, the site said I could not post it because it wasn't a question. Yet there are all these other mindless "fun" questions out there. I used to religiously read Mamapedia, but my interest is waning because of so many silly questions that don't belong on this site.

I miss the days when the site was Mamasource and was divided into subjects. Like if I had a question about potty training I could go to that part, instead of just a general question dump. It makes it so much harder to see if the question has already been asked/answered before.

Wow, lots of answers. And yes, I do see what you mean. I love the children, recipe and advice questions, but sometimes people ask or say some pretty intresting things. For those I just read on and I answer and/or comment what I could. If I were you that's what I would do. Sorry it made you so unhappy that you're deleting yourself. :~(

Well the truth hurts for everyone...even myself. If the person were face to face, I wonder if they would actually ask the question. Hence, power (courage) when hidden behind the computer screen.

Has Mamapedia lost its focus? I think that being this a basically mom site it is going to be lots of topics besides kids, diapers, babies,meals,marriage, etc since we are women. You are totally right that there have been many insensible answers and silly questions, but I just read and answer to those that interest me, the rest I mostly ignore them.
These sites changes overtime like when small companies become big companies: more people, more conflicts, less benefits...

I am new to the site and like the variety of the questions that center around the many facets of motherhood. I choose to respond to things that are relevant or interesting to me. My daughter is 14, so I don't have a real interest in baby-diaper-toddler exchanges because I'm beyond that stage in my life. It's all about accepting the diversity in the questions and responses. It is clear that this site no longer meets your needs. Sounds like moving on is best for you.