Has Anyone Ever Been Right....

Here is the thing with gut feelings, they indicate that something is just not quite right. They don't actually tell you what is wrong.

My ex cheated a lot but half the time my gut said he was again he really wasn't. I learned my gut is a good early warning system but it is worthless unless I do some follow up.

yes, I have been right by the gut feeling. If you feel something is up, investigate. But don't be "looking" for something that potentially isn't there. It would be a huge shame if he was planning something special for you for valentines' day and then you discovered it. So tread lightly and carefully. GL

M

Hi M.-

It is very hard to make a suggestion given this post...

I (for example) trust my 'mama gut' 100% of the time. It has NEVER failed me...ever.

My 'general gut' is only accurate 95% of the time...but that is me....

I think, as a general 'rule'...if you feel a need to ask...something is up.

My hope is...that it is a nice valentine's day surprise...

BUT without clarification...and without 'knowing' you and hubby...it is beyond impossible to speculate...

Best Luck!
michele/cat

My gut feeling is frequently right on but not always. I suggest that you tell him how you're feeling. Be sure to use I statements without accusing him of anything. Often that will set your mind at ease.

I suggest that gut feelings, for the most part, indicate something is up. It may be your own jealousy or it may be something unrelated to faithfulness. The partner may be anxious because of work or dealing with some internal dialogue unrelated to the other. That is why it's important to talk about it. How each partner feels is important and should be talked about from time to time.

After glancing thru your previous questions I noticed that there was a chance you're pregnant. Pregnancy does change a couple's relationship because there is a 3rd being in the relationship. For example: You could be aware that he's treating you differently and he may be feeling anxious about your pregnancy. That sort of thing.

yup, and he was. Always trust your gut.

I was 19 when I first met my husband, he is 7 years older than me and I had no idea how to be with a 'Man' instead of a 'Boy' ...so I was very insecure in the beginning. It didn't help that he is wickedly handsome and very charming! I eventually had to trust in his love for me and get over my own insecurities!

Look within yourself and ask yourself some key questions. Are there actions there on his end that are a valid need for concern or is it more in your head with the 'what if's'?

I haven't been in this particular situation.

However, anybody that I could not trust to be faithful to me is someone that I don't need. I cannot imagine being in a relationship that I could not trust my partner....

It's called 'woman's intuition' and unless you are an insecure/jealous person, I would go with your feeling. If you are an insecure/jealous person by nature then yes, get therapy.

God gave people these 'senses' so we can act on them. My 21 yr old daughter is away at college. I always tell her to go with her gut that if she senses something is not right to follow her instincts and do whatever is necessary to get in a *safe* place.

I hope you figure this out sooner rather than later.

Well that kinda question opens up a whole big can of worms! lol In that scenario I don't know if there is ever just a "gut feeling" I think there has to be a few reasons or fishy circumstances that leads someone to believe their spouse is up to something. You know what I mean? I know someone who had a spouse that had been unfaithful in the past. They had worked through that and it had been about 10 years since it happened. One day the husband was out and about when he had this overcoming feeling to go right home to check on his wife. He got there and found her sneaking a guy out the back door. They ended up getting divorced and she dated that other guy for a while etc. So during that time he didn't have reason to suspect anything but because of problems in the past it wasn't all that surprising. So I guess my question is Do you have reason to be insecure? If not and there isn't anything weird going on then don't let your imagination run wild. And if you still feel "funny" about something then be open with your hubby tell him how you are feeling and why. Try to work it out. Good luck to you and I hope it's all just in your head. :)

talk to him. sometimes that gut feeling pays off and sometimes its just insecurity :)

There's a huge difference in "gut feeling" and downright jealousy.

If you're secure in your marriage but something isn't quite right, I'd trust that. If you're constantly questioning where he is, what he's doing and who he's doing it with regardless, that's jealousy and yes, you are the problem.

I ALWAYS trust my gut.

I was right.
But I agree with Jacy B.
Every men/women is different, so you could be just hurting your self for not reason.

I don't think M. is getting a "gut feeling" about Valentines Day....I think it is more serious than that. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I always say...don't let anyone pull the wool over your eyes. If you feel it, then something is not kosher.

I ALWAYS know when my husband is up to something (it's never been cheating-related, but he has emailed an ex in the past.) I've nailed him so often on things that now I can just say every so often "Is there something you should tell me before I find out?" even if I don't feel something and he will come clean about buying something he shouldn't have or breaking something or not coming through on something....I always trust my gut....but I make sure it's my gut, and not crazy hormones. Gut instinct gets stronger with time.

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Yeppers! With my ex-husband. Red Flags and sirens going off everywhere!!! Instead of being insecurity. I confronted (surprised?) after I walked into the bowling alley and they were holding hands under the table. Told her - you want him - you can have him. If he'll do it to me - he'll do it to you."

If you can afford it - hire a private detective to confirm your fears. But don't be insecure about it. If you have alarm bells going off - then listen to them. If you hire a PI and nothing is going on - great. If not - you have the knowledge and information and can make an adult decision on what to do with it. Don't act on fear. Don't act on impulse. Go on facts.

Trust your instincts. Quote of the day, "A jealous woman does better research than the FBI."

More information is needed to answer.

Your "gut" is telling you something for a reason. If you are talking about cheating, do some investigation, buy don't make accusations unless you have proof and don't ask open ended questions like, are you having an affair? Instead, ask, who are you having an affair with?
If you find that he is somehow cheating, what do you want to do about it? Leave or work it out? Put things in order/place first. Best of luck to you.

You mean cheating? I have never had a feeling my husband was cheating, hes never acted weird, but if he did, yeah I would question it. I trust him, but you know your husband pretty good, if you feel something is off, I would investigate.