Hand-me-downs....

Updated on July 19, 2011
S.J. asks from Cherryville, MO
30 answers

When you get hand me down clothes for your kids, who gives them to you? Do you ask, or does someone just offer?

ETA: I am just curious - I hear a lot of moms on here talking about their hand-me-downs they have received. No one has ever offered them to me, and I thought maybe it was because I have never asked. I just am not that way to ask. I would even be willing to pay for them. I shop ebay and yard sales in addition to departments stores such as Carters.

I always donate our to a local shelter or will offer them to a friend if they need the size. I am just not feeling the love in return!! lol

Thanks for the answers so far.....just a curiosity question more or less. =)

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I've never asked for hand-me-downs. I've been given/offered by SILs, aunts, friends, and even parents of former students.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

I have never asked out right, I have offered a friend who had a younger daughter my daughters gently worn dress clothes/school clothes, but I do not give her items that I consider unfit for wearing, that would be insulting in my opinion. I mentioned another time to a friend how I was frustrated that my youngest had outgrown some clothes and how I was not looking forward to replacing them and by chance she had a friend whose son had outgrown some things and she passed them on to me.
I do go to garage sales and to places like Good will from time to time, garage sales are awesome, because you can get some really great deals like a quarter for a pair of shorts...and all kids need some play clothes = )

2 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Tucson on

Friends and family members and friends of friends have given me clothes for my kids. I think i must seem really needy. Or i just get lucky. I always get really nice used baby clothes and i have friend who has a daughter the same age as mine, but she is a couple sizes bigger, so when she grows out of them we get them.

1 mom found this helpful

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I've gotten them from people I know who have kids are little older and those people offered.
I have to say though that I don't think I will accept any more because we've accepted items about 4 times and every time people have given us things that were in horrible condition. I wondered why those people didn't know better. I've been given shirts with bleach stains and holes. Jeans with the knees worn through. Dingy worn out clothes. Filthy shoes with frayed strings and peeling soles. Those things were not fit even as play clothes!

When I was pregnant with my first baby a lady from church insisted on giving me her grandson's old clothes so we wouldn't have to buy anything she said. I didn't consider that her youngest grandson was 5 years old, yet she still had a bag of his clothes. Maybe I should have been wary that they were in a trash bag? WELL, much of it was not even washed! The items were dingy and had old, crusted baby food and/or milk on them. There was even mildew on some. I almost threw up at the sight! I put it all back in that trash bag and put it the dumpster where it belonged.
I always hand down or donate my children's clothes they've outgrown and it is all GENTLY used. If there was something worn out or that wouldn't come clean I would toss it or use it as rags. I hope more people learn to identify what's okay to pass on and what should just go into the trash.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I get them my my BFF. She usually just offers, but since were so close if I know there's something she's getting rid of and I'd like it, I have not problem asking. I recently bought new patio furniture, and told her I was planning on selling the old set. She came right out and asked me for it, no problem, that's the way our friendship is.

I have a very small family and none of them have clothing that would fit or be appropriate for my daughters.l

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our source of hand-me-downs is the cousins. Sometimes my youngest is wearing four times hand-me-downs!

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

Several friends, my sitter, and my cousin give me hand-me-downs for my son. Love them, love them!!

My daughter sometimes gets a few things from a teacher at my mom's school. I hand down all of her clothes to a friend at my school. In fact, when I pick out things for my daughter, I sometimes think, "This will look so cute on ______, too!!"

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't ask, someone offers. They're usually from my next door neighbor or my grandson, who's 1 1/2 years older : )

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I give ours to a friend with a little girl, and we get ours from cousins and garage sales. The only thing my friend has asked for is shoes, but I've given her dresses and coats and stuff too.

1 mom found this helpful

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

In my experience, hand-me-downs usually come from close family and friends... and in our circle, we don't have any boys a size or two larger than my son, so we don't feel the hand-me-down love either. sigh. My son's only male cousin is 4 years older (kind of a long time until the clothes would fit = a lot of storing, plus his mom loves to sell his clothes at flea markets...)

On the flip side, we have several close family/friends with little boys a size or two smaller than my son, so we've given TONS of GREAT hand-me-downs.

Oh well. Not much we can do about it! Just glad that at least we have people to hand things down to...

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a mom's group and we swap sometimes, friends, family, garage sales etc. Mainly if you put the word out there to friends and family that you are looking for xyz in what size etc. ask them to keep an eye out for you, then you will start to have people call you with stuff to give you! GL!

M

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J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I have always been offered the clothes. But at the same time, I do not hide the fact that I am a bargain-shopper. Someone might say how cute a shirt is and I will say "I got it for 50 cents at a garage sale! Can you believe that?"

I have been very lucky. I am the youngest of all of my cousins. So my cousins kid's clothes and toys go to me (well, my son). I hope if I have a girl one day that my cousin kept their beautiful boutique clothes. If not, oh well.

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't gotten any hand me downs for my daughter but that's only because the only people I know who have daughters- the girls are all younger then my daughter. But I have given away clothes my daughter has outgrown. I've never been asked for her outgrown stuff but I will tell my friends with little girls when I have stuff and ask if they want it.

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have never asked, but have been lucky enough to receive many, many hand me downs. I just consider it another blessing. I also do a toy-swap with another mom with a daughter the same age as mine -- that is very nice! If I do not get donations, I go to ebay or a throft shop and have gotten some VERY good bargains there. I also "hand down" some of the things I have gotten over the years.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I started a reply and my computer decided to go through an update and lost my respone.

So here it goes. I did hand me downs when my kids were younger. I would go through the items to make sure they were clean, had buttons, did not have stains and were appropriate. The family I gave them to had three boys so they were grateful for the items. My daughter would outgrow items and I would give them to a person who just had a baby girl and he was grateful. Both of these were while we were in the military.

When we came back to the states I gave them to Goodwill and the Salvation Army.

I never gave clothes that I would not use to someone else and I made sure they were clean. Some people don't care and it shows.

Of course my clothes changing came before garage sales. Once and a while there was a flea market and I would sell them there.

All the people were grateful and they ususally said that it saved them from going out to buy clothes. When kids are little they are just happy to have clothes and don't care what's on them so it's easy to switch them around.

The other S.

1 mom found this helpful

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

I have gotten plenty of hand me downs. I just get them from generous friends.

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Medford on

It helps if you have friends who had babies before you. If they are the same sex thats a big plus. It also helps if they like to hand them down to others. There seems to be such a large number of thrift stores now, compared to 10 years ago, a lot of moms are choosing to resell clothing instead of loaning or handing down. If I get used stuff from a thrift store I consider it handed down,,just not from anyone I know, and it cost me a small fee. I sell them back, or do whatever with them when Im done too. Sometimes moms dont want to part with their baby's things, but dont mind loaning them out for a while. I used to loan things, and get them back later and loan again. It was great to see special stuff on friends kids over and over. Until one M. didnt return them and had a garage sale and sold them all.. Not gonna loan anything to her anymore.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

One of my closest friends here has a son that is 18 months older than my oldest son - she gives us 90% of his clothes....some still new with tags....when my kids are done with them - I donate them - if they are still good after being through 3 kids....

If they aren't - I throw them out - sad, but true...

I don't have friends that have kids younger than mine - except for one - but he has an older brother....so he already gets enough from him - I've offered!!!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It is often your friends who have kids just older than yours or family members who pass things down. I get things from Branson shipped in the mail, from my friends here in town, from my sister in another town, etc... I get so much stuff I am really glad I am organized.

I have tubs that slide under the day bed that are taller and ones that slide under the twin bed that are long and low that are labeled things like Winter 2011/2012, Summer 2012 or even Summer 2013. I have clothes up to a young girls 16 in my tubs.

I go through the clothes in the Spring and the Fall and get rid of things that will not fit the next year and divide them in to marked tubs, one for my younger grand-kids and it holds outgrow toys and clothes, one for my friend that gave me stuff so she can pass the same clothes on down to others when I am done with them. I also have one tub that is for clothes that need a decent burial....LOL.

I love getting the clothes because I know that my friends take care of their things and they know I do too.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I have always offered hand-me-downs. Especially my son's clothes. He outgrows things before he can wear them out.
My friend has a son that's younger and I took her a bag of clothes. Her husband was PISSED! He took it to mean that she and I didn't think their kid was "good enough" for brand new clothes. (Husband is an only child and never had a hand-me-down in his entire life).
I've never seen him so mad and wanted to duck and cover, but she started pulling the clothes out...some with the tags still on, all in perfect condition and he was like, "I didn't know you were giving him NICE things".
(As if I would dump off my rags?)
After that, every year before school started, I cleaned my son's closet out and gave their kid the stuff that didn't fit anymore and the husband was very appreciative.
No one ever gave my son clothes because he's the one who outgrew stuff the fastest, but if you know someone who is bigger than your kid, you can always ask what they do with the things they outgrow.
It can't hurt.

Best wishes.

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C.H.

answers from Decatur on

I never ask for hand-me-downs, but if someone offers I pretty much always accept them. As for my hand-me-downs I usually look for a needy family and donate them to the needy family. Last winter's clothing went to a family where Dad has been deployed for two years and their son is growing like a weed. My son's clothing just happened to be the size the other little boy was growing into. It felt so good to see that look of relief on the mother's face.

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V.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

we've been lucky enough to have a family member give us their had-me-downs. I would feel uncomfortable asking. Thankfully she offers them to me. She is the reason my girls are dressed to cute.

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M.K.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I have a sister-in-law who has a daughter 6 months older than mine. My daughter is on the smaller side and always a size or two behind her daughter. She sends me clothes when her daughter grows out of them. I now have #2 on the way and it's a boy so my other SIL is sending me boy clothes. We keep everything and pass them around to each other when a new baby comes. I think we all might be done with having kids but now a cousin's wife is pregnant so we'll probably pass along the clothes to her. Everyone gets rids of clothes when they get too many stains or just worn out. We all add to it as well. But it does save us all a ton of money.

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K.S.

answers from Bloomington on

Good question.

The hand me downs in my family (when I was a kid) went back and forth between me, my cousins and my baby sister and probably back to yet another cousin after that. But, I have no idea if my aunt requested some clothes or if my mom just offered. Obviously it'd be nice if someone offered, but it's acceptable to ask if you could have any of so and so's outgrown clothes.

Failing that, there's garage sales, clothes aren't free, but they're cheaper.

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

I hate throwing out clothes that could be used. If I know of a family who has a child a size or two smaller than my child, I ask them if they're interested in some clothes my kids have outgrown. If they are, I drop them off and tell them if they don't fit they can pass them along to another friend or donate them. When there's no family to ask, I generally donate the clothes. I'm donating two big bags today full of kids' clothes, shoes, swimsuits, etc.

I would be fine if a neighborhood mom asked me to consider her for future hand-me-downs. I'd be happy to have a close place to take them and get pleasure knowing the clothes are continuing to be used.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Usually from really close friends. I don't think I would ask for them.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I have received clothes from family (my sister has 3 girls older than my daughter) and friends who have kids slightly older than mine. I also hand down clothes in good condition to friends with younger kids. I usually ask if they will want/need an item.
I think it depends on how old your kids are and if you know people that can actually hand things down (as in have older kids). Now that my daughter is older she pretty much "uses up" her clothes and when she has grown out of them, they are no longer even fit for donation.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I give them as soon as I can because I want them out of the house. I try to find someone who has kids slightly smaller than my own and ask about sizes. If I don't know you...

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well you have to be in the position where you can be first in line for them. What I mean by that is that your friends are not going to give you theirs if they have immediate family member kids, on both sides, that could use them. From my experience they go to family first. That's how I got all of mine. IF no family then they go to friends-probably starting with either close friends or somebody the give knows could really use them. I do wish there could be some way to get people hand me downs that need them. There is nobody younger to give my kids to and I have thrown in the goodwill bin some wonderful clothes. Oh-and that's another thing...I would feel funny about asking people I kind of know if they could use them. I have felt this way about my own clothes too.

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