Good Age for #1 Before We Work on #2

We got preggers with #2 when my first was 1 year old. They are 22 months apart (both boys) are are GREAT together. When #2 was born we made sure to include our oldest in everything. He had his own baby we got him and he would take real bottles, bibs and blankets and do everything mommy was doing. Today they are 6 and 4 and it is so awesome. They play together ALL the time, sleep together...they do everything together. Although my 4yo thinks he is 6...LOL
If I had it to do all over again I would do it exactly the same. We just had #3 and SHE is about 3-1/2 years younger. It is great because the boys are busy with each other and it allows me bonding time while she is an infant.

I can only offer you my personal experience, but I will say that my girls are 9 days less than 3 years apart, and the age difference has been wonderful. Really, really great. My youngest is only 4 months, so I don't know what their relationship will be like in a few years, but right now, it's great. Even now, the youngest looks at the oldest with so much fascination and joy, and the oldest loves caring for her. The oldest is potty trained and self-sufficient in many ways, so I can be nursing the youngest while the oldest goes potty on her own. And, my oldest is a HUGE help. From getting me a drink of water when I'm nursing to cleaning (her choice, I swear! she insists on dusting and sweeping with me) to letting me know when she hears my youngest poop to entertaining the youngest for a minute while I go to the bathroom, she's really been a big help. I still find time to spend with each daughter on their own, too, which is important to me. If I had to do it all again, I'd pick the same age difference.

I agree with Alison. Mine are also almost 3 years apart and they get along so well. They are 9 and 6 now and are the best of friends and always have been..I also potty trained while I was pregnant so I only had one in diapers at a time. My son loved helping me with his sister and there was never a jelous moment. I loved the age difference then and still do now that they are a bit older. The only bad thing is they are growing up too fast for me.

Honestly, a lot will just depend on how your children's personalities develop. My hubby and his brother at 18 months apart and have NEVER gotten along! They are like day and night.

On the other hand my BFF and her brother are almost 10 years apart (she being the older) and I've never seen a closer set of siblings!

YOU just need to make sure that YOU are ready for the double responsiblity and can handle it without bias one way or the other. Even if unintentional it can affect both kids.

You are the only one that can determine the "right" age for you and your family.

You will probably get many different responses here, but here is my two cents on the topic! My oldest was 3 when we had my second child and it was perfect...1 in diapers, he was old enough to understand the concept of a sibling and he was able to be my big helper. I am now pregnant with #3 - we found out a week after my 2nd turned 1 - this was NOT in the game plan. It is very difficult knowing that my 2nd child is CLUELESS as to what is going on and I am nervous because it is SOOOO hard to think how difficult a transition it will be for him. I would give it some time. Give your body time to be normal again for a while and your hormones to balance out again. I would wait until your baby is at least 2. Good luck!

it's amazing how well kids adjust. We got pregnant with our second baby when our first was 9 months old. when baby came home, she loved on him and still does! She didn't seem to mind that she was sharing her mommy and daddy. However, since I was nursing little brother she wanted to see what all the going ons were about! LOL! I'm still nursing Daniel Daniel at almost 10 months and she keeps a watchful eye that he immediately latch back on or she will guide his head! they really grow into the older sibling role rather quickly and easily. They want to take care of someone. I'm sure any age would be okay...Just talk to her about it...Naomi would give my belly kisses! God bless

Mine are a bit less than 2 years apart, and they get along pretty good most of the time. Sometimes I do feel like my oldest wants to do her own thing and the youngest wants to constantly follow after her, so she really can't. So in a way I think that if I would have not waited as long to have my other daughter maybe they would more in common. My step sister waited almost 4 years and I know her kids do not get along well at all. For that reason I say a year should be good, or else a long time apart. My kids keep saying how they want me to have another baby and how they would be very helpful if I did, I believe that because the baby would be a long age difference from them.

I don't think a 10 1/2 month old has the capacity to think that mommy and daddy don't care about her because they have another child or not. it really is not her decision anyway. and if she is young enough, she will never remember a time when the other kid/s weren't there. the decision should be whether you and your husband want more kids period. it is nice to take her into consideration, but i don't think that should be the deciding factor, what she thinks, at 10 1/2 months, or might possible feel about mom and dad's decision. she needs to live with it either way.
as for the number of kids, well i have 3 boys. and we didn't consider our other childrens feelings about more kids or not. it was not their place to decide or help decide. when they have kids then they can decide.
i have 3 but still want more. my cousin has 1 and can't for the life of her picture more. she thinks i am crazy. i think her little boy will be lonley when she gets old and there will be no-one for him to turn to. mine will always have their brothers, and her boy has us. but it is still a little different. most people i know have 3 or more children on up to 10 kids. i would like to have 2 or 3 more. preferably boys. since i already have boys and i can deal with them just fine. i think a girl a this point would upset the applecart.
but it is all what is in your heart, what you can handle, what you can afford.
but i wouldn't put to much stock in letting your daughter influence your decision now or in the future.
L.

I have a daughter and son who are 16 months apart and we love it. My daughter was 8 months old when we go pregnant with our son. I was really worried that she would not get enough attention, but that was not the case at all. Babies tend to sleep so much we still had plenty of one on one time. Granted I do stay at home so that might make a difference. They do everything together I am so glad we had them so close.