Good Advice

Hmmm...

My advice on giving advice would be to advise all advice takers to take advice at face value, and for advice GIVERS (once ASKED for advice in the first place) to take the REACTION to said advice at face value.

That is my final answer!

:)

just like on here, I like to start it as "this is my opinion..." they can take it or leave it... I don't always follow my own advise and it is easier when you aren't the one going through it...

Absolutely. How can you give someone advice like that. Or the "Should I leave my husband?" Only that person can answer that. They have to look into themselves and find the answers and do whats best for their family. You live and you learn.

Now, if we're talking diapers, I have good advice! ;)

Advice is a funny thing... we only "hear" what confirms our initial reaction. So, yes, if I know someone well enough to know that they aren't going to follow my advice- I keep it to myself unless they really push.

I will say Have you tried______?
I do suggest things I have not done in a "what about this" tone.
It gives my friends something to think about. I try really hard not to say If I were you____.
I will also withhold my opinion if I know the friend is only looking for validation. If she truly needs advice and is listening I will give it though.

I try to give people Food for Thought and let them make a decision. I don't think I would give that kind of advice because you may hit a nerve and if things go bad then it will automatically be you fault.

Yes. I will give suggestions if it something I have never walked before. Even if it is something I definitively know the answer too, I will always say to get a second opinion. I am not a professional anything. Unless you count my mom badge, which doesnt come with credentials.

Theresa N. you are cracking me up today!!

Yup. I never, ever tell anyone what they should do (except for 'call the police' or 'go to the doctor'). I'll give a bunch of options, or suggestions, or ask if they've done or thought of x, y, or z, or share my *own* experience... but there's never 1 right answer.

The older I am, the more I know that I don't know...

I've also completed a year-long coaching certification program. One thing, out of many, that I learned through that is that I don't have anyone else's answers, they have their own answers. All I can do is ask questions, guide, and/or share my experiences. Each of us has to come to our own conclusions about what is right for us and our families based on our own knowledge and experience, and the resources we have to work with.

This approach has also made me sound less like a "know-it-all", at least sometimes :-) than I probably came across like when I was younger.

yes , but she is a child-imagine the danger she is in.

Yes! I have been told, by my Mother and husband, that my advice sometimes comes off like I'm a know it all. With family and friends, I really just try to listen and give advice only when I know they want to hear it. That is why I love to come on here! I can give all the advice I want and get it out of my system, then I'm better able to control myself. Like now, when my best friend quitscan't hold down a job for longer than a year. Sometimes it's better just to keep my mouth closed, for the sake of my relationships.

No limits, but my friends and family know it, so they only ask for my advice if they truly want it. If it is someone that doesn't know me well enough to know that I pull no punches, than when they ask for advice, the first thing I say is "don't ask unless you really want to know". I've actually had people retract their request for advice.

Advice is just advice.
It is not telling the person what to do.
Only they can, decide what to do.
And the advice giver, cannot 'expect' the other person to do what they, suggested. Because, it is only advice.

I am a blunt person, and I proceed per how I know the person, using diplomacy and wording, because I know them.
Some people can be told blunt things, others cannot.
So you need to know that, as the advice giver.

Yes, I try to be careful, but it also depends on who and what.
Most of the times I am open about my life and my own mistakes so I can often use: "I would", "I did" or "I wish I didn't" instead of "you should".
I think that helps.

Updated

Yes, I try to be careful, but it also depends on who and what.
Most of the times I am open about my life and my own mistakes so I can often use: "I would", "I did" or "I wish I didn't" instead of "you should".
I think that helps.

If you are reluctant to tell someone to kick their daughter out because you aren't sure if you could do it, then obviously you aren't as certain it's the right thing to do anyway, so no you shouldn't recommend it. Something that drastic is pretty severe, and since you don't know all the sides, you can't weigh in.
What I would suggest is that you tell this family to get family counseling.