Going Back to School in 6 months..worried.

Do it!!!! Go back now... I was so lucky to have my Dad watching my son until this week. Now that I have to pay for childcare, I had to quit one of my jobs because I couldn't afford childcare and the late (non-traditional) hours... I'm trying so hard to finish my dissertation and a 2nd master's degree and I have no time... I stay up all hours of the night trying to get it done. Also- You are guaranteed a career and a way to provide for your child if you finish. You definitely need to finish.

You are absolutely doing the right thing. You will be so glad you did this while you had loving, trusting, and affordable help for your daughter.

You may want to try to get her used to a bottle... It's good survival skills to be able to do both........ You can always pump or mix half formula/half breastmilk if you don't produce as much pumping. Also, for baby food, she may like that Nuby spoon/bottle contraption that lets you dispense food similar to a bottle or breast. (My son got really annoyed at first that food didn't automatically dispense off the spoon... ha ha... that helped)

I completely understand how you feel. I was home with my son every single day until he was about 1 year old. I was traveling 2 days a week to work and teach a few days in my home. You feel guilty for every second you're away, but they will be perfectly fine. You'll be surprised how much they learn from others (every time I picked my son up my Dad taught him something... how to walk..........how to use a radio-controlled car! Ha ha!)

About the lovey- my son was the same way until about 15-16 months... In fact I'm reading that 17 months is when they really start attaching to a lovey. He wasn't attached to anything (but me) until last month, he saw Curious George and decided that was his new lovey... He can't get enough of him now.

Good luck! You can do this and will be a better Mom for it.

You can still nurse her, your body will adjust. Nurse her before you go to school, assuming your daughter is awake. Then you can nurse her when you get home and then again at night. She is at the age where some of the nursing is because of boredom. I love the "Don't offer, don't refuse" technique. Don't feel bad about going back to school. You already have nursed and cared for your daughter in the way most mothers don't for 13 months. You have 6 months to wind down the nursing sessions. Remember, she will be teething pretty badly in the year to come. Molars especially are rough. So when you are with her, allow her to nurse during those tough times. You can use that time to read or study...

I have some advice on the "missing out" feelings. For some milestones my attitude is the first time I see my children do something..is the first time for me. So I get excited, take pictures, praise them. Sometimes they do it for my husband or my mom first, and I am just happy for them. And then I wait to see it myself, and I celebrate the milestone or experience, not who got to see it first. The exception to this was my son's birthday, his second bday I was on bed rest and I told my husband to go ahead and take him to Disneyland without me. After they left I tried so hard to cheer myself up. I couldn't and I just felt worse. At that time being upset did cause contractions so I knew I had to do something. So I went with the opposite. I decided that my positive attitude toward everything I was missing during those months was enough. For that situation what made me feel better was just accepting that it sucked, I didn't like it, and I wasn't going to try to find the silver lining! And that actually made me feel better. A year later it was so worth it of course, and I am glad my husband had that nice day with my son. My husband carried such a heavy load he deserved that day with his son. So yes you will miss out on things but you can find ways to cope. Being happy for the caregivers who see it first, praising your child and giving them a second opportunity to "wow" someone with their new ability, and just accepting that sometimes a sacrifice is just that. A sacrifice. But only you know what is being gained for your family as a whole in the meantime. Best of luck with school!

I don't have any advice regarding going back to work as I have been home with mine. But I have heard a few things about weaning a toddler. (I weaned my daughter at 14 months, but she really didn't even notice!) If you want to completely wean, then you may want to consider a weekend away. This way your daughter will be forced to take comfort from her dad or grandma and you can make a clean break. If you don't want to stop altogether, then I would take it slow. When I weaned my daughter, I eliminated one pumping/feeding every 4 to 5 days, so that over several weeks it happened gradually without any pain. And if you'll be gone during the day, then you'd probably want to cut those out first, leaving the early morning (if she nurses then) and evening ones until last. I think you could probably still nurse during those times even after you return to school. That way you wouldn't totally lose that connection. But I also agree, in 6 months time, she could be very different from how she is now. My daughter changed a lot from 2 to 2.5. She was also a tough sleeper, requiring lots of assistance (including the walking). But she outgrew it. Even if you weren't going back to school, I'd still try to get Dad more involved. You deserve a break here and there--and I'm sure he will do just fine. Maybe you'll just need to leave for longer periods to give them a chance to become more settled together.

If you need help with weaning specifically, I'd talk to a lactation consultant. They can give you a specific plan to follow. Ana at lovingstartlactation.com in Pembroke Pines is awesome!

does she have a lovey? my daughter has a stuffed pooh bear that she takes with her everywhere, sleeps with, etc. It helps her to have him to love on when she's at daycare or whatever.

Maybe before you start school up again, start taking short times out, running errands, whatever, where she stays with fiance or MIL to get used to you leaving and coming back.

I'll tell you, when I went back to work when my daughter was 3 months, it was so much harder on me than her. I called her daycare lady a couple of times in tears, but my daughter was fine, no crying, no nothing!

I know it sucks that you have to leave her, but you're doing what's best for her in the long run, and she wont remember it. It's better for her and you if you finish your education.

I am sorry to say and don't want to sound negative, but you are going to miss out on things. There is no way around that. Can't you wait a little longer until she is in pre school. Or maybe go back part tine at first and gradually go full time? Ur never going to get this time back. I have gone through this that's why I am gently suggestion re thinking going back, and going back full time. Good luck!

1) Your daughter is 13 months old... so is she drinking whole milk by now?
If so, then teach her to drink from other things- like a sippy/bottle or straw cup.

If she wants to nurse... then YOU have to, also, start to decide if/when you do nurse her. For example: if she is grabbing your shirt and wanting to nurse- do not sit down. Keep standing up or walking around and in a normal voice just say "Mommy is busy now, in a minute...." and then make yourself "busy." Then usually the child gets distracted. That is what I did with my Daughter. In order to 'teach' her other things besides using my boobs, as her entertainment or comfort or when bored.
At this age, they do not have to be nursed 'on-demand.' So, you can 'delay' nursing and distract her.
And give her regular whole milk, if you have not gotten her transitioned to that yet.
2) Keep trying to have Hubby do the night time routines. And leave her home when going out of the house. And gradually be gone for longer. You just need to have Hubby do more things with her and in the house too.

Kids adapt.
In 6 months time... a child changes a lot.

Try to relax. Six months is a very long time at that age. For now, try to notice any activity or anything she likes or does that is leaning in the direction you want to go and try to encourage that more. Maybe she begins to bond with a stuffed animal, you could say, "You really seem to really love your teddy. Would you like him to sleep with you tonight?" Also, take note of anything you're hoping to give up that she's losing interest in. If she doesn't ask to nurse, don't offer. Just take notice of those little things and use them to build and transition into what you're hoping for.

As adults, it's really important for us to begin thinking about these things, but transition time for littles ones is really only a week or two. You've got lots of time, so try to relax. And have fun going back to school!

You could try weaning by dropping one feeding at a time and even keep a bedtime one when you go back to school. They really change and grow a lot between 12 and 24 months so 6 months makes a big difference. Keep giving her the lovey or just keeping it nearby. My kids started liking a blankie or cuddly animal between 12 and 18 months.

I can see why you want to go back to school. Is there any flexibility to go back and not take a full load, like maybe 1 less class? You may do fine but I recall friends in nursing school being very busy, especially when they had to do a lot of lab and clinical hours in some semesters. Maybe you can talk to an advisor in your program see if there any tips for returning students. Good luck. I can understand your worries--I've been home 5 years with my kids and will probably need to take a few classes to get up to date too.

You can still nurse, just not during those hours. If it affects your milk supply, you could either pump and throw it away or pump and donate (assuming DD does not really need the milk nutrition, rather the nursing bond). I would definitely start alternating the bedtime routine so your fiance is putting her to bed at least 1/2 the time. He should probably have substantially more 'alone' time with her so she is used to it (also just so they have father/daughter time). Best of luck - I am sure it will be exciting to get back to school.

6 months is a long time when it comes to development with little ones. So try not to worry that she'll be this clingy 6 months from now. I understand your reasons for going to school. She will be fine and adjust. And I agree that you should get her more used to daddy taking care of her. Maybe let them start having some special time together? Maybe he can be in charge of bath or bedtime? As someone who only knew how to get nursing kids to sleep by, well nursing, I can tell you that dad and grandma will find a routine that works for them and that she'll get used to it. Leave for an afternoon around naptime and let them start practicing. It probably won't be as bad as you think.

As far as weaning, you don't have to give it up completely. And btw, her nursing habits of nursing for comfort, boredom, sleeping are COMPLETELY normal. A 1.5 year old (which is how old she'll be when you're in school) can easily nurse just when she's with you. You might instead just try gradually cutting back. I don't have time for my weaning tips but you could click on my name and look for my responses to weaning questions if you'd like. The reason I suggest cutting back is just so you don't get engorged when you start school if you're still nursing very frequently. 6 months is long enough to do it gradually without traumatizing your little one. You might consider keeping nursing at sleep times as a way to connect with her at night after you've been in school all day. It's just a suggestion. If you're really done though, please wean her gently and gradually.

Good luck with nursing school. She will be fine. Remember you're leaving her with people she knows, loves, and trusts. Don't feel like you're abandoning her.

Regardless of whether you're going back to school or not, you want her to learn to self comfort. I had one who refused to take a cup or bottle until 13 months which made me feel very tied down! Just because she doesn't have a lovey now doesn't mean she wont choose one later. Put a small blanket or stuffed animal in your bed and sleep with it for several nights so it will smell like you. As Kristine said six months is a long time, 1/3 or her lifetime! she will grow and change so much. introduce sippy cups now and in another month or two work on changing her bedtime routine. It will all work out, and will be worth it when you get that nursing certification!

No amount of money in the bank will compensate for the love and wonderful bonding time you're having with your precious daughter now. When she's older it'll be too late to nurse, too late to watch her crawl and take her first steps, etc.
You sound like you have a wonderful support system. But it's obvious by your daughter's reactions that she needs you now. 13 months is not the age to teach a child they need to 'deal with it', 13 months is the age to learn comfort, love and security. All of which she seems to be getting from you.
Nurse her, enjoy it and let it be. Did you know America is the only country that nurses for such a short amount of time? The World Health Organization recommends up to 4 or 5, for sure till 2. And switching from human milk to cow milk is just insane, your daughter will not become a cow therefore she doesn't need their milk.

Lots of women go to school and have children, even newborns. It IS do-able and can be less stressful if you have a good attitude about it.

I was a nanny for a mom with 7 children who had her MS in Nursing and was a professor of Nursing at a local Jr. College. Her boss, the Department Head, brought her child over too so sometimes I had 8 kids on an off school day,like teacher conference days. Almost everyone of her children have become nurses and some did really well and others really struggled and they are all Mensa level IQ's.

So, to me it comes down to your attitude. Make time in your daily schedule to study, child free time. Time that has no other responsibilities. Not dinner time, not laundry time, time at school in the library or a quiet nook to study. I used to go to the duck pond at OU and go out on this little area that had a table surrounded by trees that was very quiet and study.

I had my daughter at child care and it was my scheduled time to study. If children are at child care more than 4 hours they get paid for a full day which is 10 hours. So, I didn't run get my daughter as soon as I was out of class. I spent time studying and made good grades because of it.

Nursing school is hard, the clinicals are stressful and you will lose patients and possibly your patience with sick people. I could not deal with that and do nursing. I am not a natural at that field.

Good luck to you, if you find that you need constant child care or financial help talk to your local Human services agency and get free child care and some food stamps to ease the burdens.

Financial aid can be used to pay up your car insurance, phones, cable, house payment, and utilities months in advance to help too.

So I'm thinking you have several issues all related. I nursed my daughter until 13 months and had a tough time weaning her also. I would start by refusing to nurse her b/c she's bored distract her with something else. then make your self a regular "schedule" for nursing like when she wakes up, after lunch, mid afternoon, after dinner and bedtime. the figure out which one would be easiest for you and she to eliminate and skip that one for a while, then keep cutting back.
It also sounds like your daughter needs to figure out how to fall asleep without nursing. This will not be easy she is old enough to be very vocal. But this has to happen now before you go back to school. you might start by just leaving her during naptime with gramma or dad several days in a row. I would read up on how to put child to sleep with out rocking or nursing, supernanny had several epsiodes about this. I ferberized my firstt two which means i let them cry it out, but much earlier than 13 months..=( the next two I taught them to fall asleep on their own right away but we did have loveys (introduced as in infant). Remember you are teaching your daughter a life skill! she will have to learn how to fall asleep on her own at some point!
Start taking more trips to grocery store etc and leaving daughter at home, start letting daddy do the bath and bedtime routine and just more parenting in general. i know its hard b/c she's your baby, but it will help you and your marriage and your daughter b/c you can't always be there. When/if you have a new baby your attention will be divided anyway, so she needs to learn and so do you that gramma and dad can be a good substitute for mom! Good Luck. don't wait start now and go slow!

I loved nursing--hated that she wanted to be on even if/when full...i felt like "listen kid, I love you but mommy needs a break and can't get anything done w/u hanging frome me" lol it was sooo frusterating and the thing that did the trick was getting her a binki. That way she could suck for comfort ect but I was free to do chores ect. At first i had to keep holding her so she was close to me can smell me/see me ect but after a while it worked all the time. She will prob spit it out at first--i hear a lot do and all 3 of mine did but just hold it in will help break that prob.
Good Luck :)