Gift Giving Dilemma

My first thought was like another responder below. How many gifts (total) were in the two bags, and how many students are in the class? If there were 8 gifts (between the two bags?) and there are 9 students in the class, or 7 students in the class, then perhaps he was "supposed" to give each child a gift, or each child and the teacher a gift?

The parent of this other boy are probably the type that give gifts to lots of people. The boy probably considers your daughter one of his best friends and got caught up int he gift-giving fun as he helped his mom shop & wrap gifts for others. He may talk about her all through dinner every night, when they're in the car, when he's in the bathrub, etc. My daughter used to talk about "Alicia" all the time when sheh was in preschool. Alicia was a year older and knew everything there was to know in preschool. My daugher wanted to be just like her. Had I been the gift-giving type (you know those people that always have a gift for everyone) I would have assumed my daughther & Alicia were best buds. I don't think Alicia's parents even knew my daughter existed.

I don't think a reciprocal gift is needed. A thank you card - yes. If your child isn't yet old enough to write thank-you then have her dictate the note to you - and let her sign in. Get in that good habit right away. But learn early not to get caught up in the gift reciprocity - it can become a every-year uncomfortable thing.

I would wonder if all four separately wrapped gifts were really intended for my child, or if possibly the little boy got confused and gave her the whole bag when his parents intended those to be four gifts given to four different friends....I would contact the parents (surely there is a class list, or a room parent has an email for them?) and just say very nicely, "Thank you and Son so much for the gift he gave to Sally yesterday. That was really thoughtful. You know, preschoolers can get things mixed up sometimes so I wanted to check -- there were four items in the bag Sally brought home; is that right---?" It is not rude to check in when little kids are involved, I think; they DO get things mixed up and when parents don't know the other parents in a preschool class, the only way to deal with some things is to just say outright that you're checking to be sure things were done as mom and dad wanted!

I would not feel obliged to give a gift, necessarily, but your daughter could make the boy a nice card and another card for his parents. Do not send the parents' card to school! Mail it or it is very likely to get lost amid the many things going home this time of the year.

It does seem a bit odd to take gifts for a few kids to school but not for everyone at this age, but maybe having Son take the gifts to school was the only way the parents could find to get them to the kids. Son clearly must have really wanted to give something to you child and the other one, which is nice, so try to overlook the awkwardness of a bag of gifts coming to your kid when others were present.

Calliing the parents might just open up a nice friendship with them and lead to some play dates between the kids.

I would tell my daughter to make sure she says "thank you" to everyone who gives her a gift and that's all I would do. I would not put any more effort into it. Good luck.

Things like this are not uncommon.
All throughout their school years, this can happen.
Sure, send a thank you note. That is proper.
And to acknowledge it, the gift.
Sure, you can get a gift in return for the gift he gave your daughter.
That is up to you.
As you said, your daughter and he, are friends in school.

Gifts, if given to particular friends, ideally, yes, you give it to the other kids, discreetly. Not in front of the other kids.
But again, this cannot always be, done.
If anything, I say that this is between the adults, and having the child give it to their Mommy and that it is "private."
But again, some kids, because they are so young, have big mouths and they don't mean to. They are just excited to see a surprise given to them or in their cubby and may exclaim "look! I got a present/surprise/etc. !"
Or... you just give it DIRECTLY, to the Mom. To then take home. For her child.

If gifts are given at school, because that is the only place to drop it off at and give it to the child, then, I personally put the gift in a generic plain ol' bag.... so that it is not attention getting. Then, I tell the Teacher and/or give it to her, to give to the student, just before school gets out.
Teachers are used to this.
They know how.

I wonder if the little boy accidentally gave four gifts to your daughter when they were supposed to go to other kids in the class, too. Children that age can follow instructions to a point! If those were indeed intended for your daughter...don't feel obligated that you need to buy this little boy a gift. Thank you note might be appropriate (to give to boy and his parents-have the teachers do it since you don't know them well) as well as having your daughter express Gratitude/Thanks for the gift.

Aw I think that's sweet! Sure it may not have been the best idea for this boy to give presents out at school, but really it's the thought that counts.
I would just have your daughter draw him a "thank you" picture. You can write the words for her, dear billy thank you for the X it was so nice, etc.

Being a former preschool teacher, here is what I suggest--

Let her open the gifts early.

My (then in preschool) son went through a phase of making some very silly items with whatever was on hand (think decorated toilet paper tube) and wrapping them individually to give to a friend. Was he excited about this? Absolutely! The recipient was a family friend, the mom and I are friends--- and you know, the girl was a bit confused but just said 'thanks' and that was that. (It wa a neighbor, so no sad classmates to worry about.)

So, that's my advice-- open it up, see what it really is, and then decide if it's something you want to buy a return gift for, or an opportunity for your daughter to craft something for a friend who was thinking of her. And I like what SH said regarding gift etiquette at school.

I think its awsome that someone thinks so much of your child! I would be so flattered if I were you. I would send a thank you note and a small gift. It's supposed to be for the child anyways and not for you or the parent. I don't have a whole lot of close friends so another small childs gift would not be the end of me. :) I would try to remember to speak to the parents and feel out if they would be fun potential play dates. My daughter loves seeing her school friends outside of school at the park or wherever. If you just send a thank you note that's ok. However I just think that a small reciprocated gift would probably make them really really happy and I would want that for them. Even though to me their strangers.

Send a thank-you note.

We never give gifts because we have gotten a gift. We only give gifts because we WANT to. So, in this case, I would simply write a thank you note.