Getting Toddler to Go to Bed

Hi L., I think you moved him too soon. We moved my son out of his crib at 2 1/2 because he was trying to climb in and I thought he would try to climb out as well. For about a month after that he would keep getting out of bed and playing with his door and taking all his toys out of his room and putting them in the hallway. Now he is better but we still hear him moving around some nights. He is 3 now. He knows he gets 2 books and then it is bedtime but until last night it was always a struggle because he would try to get me to read one more book or he would say he wanted water or had to go to the potty. Last night after I read the second book he said "bedtime!" and jumped in his bed. Also only change one thing at a time. Maybe put him back in the crib and cuddle with him to make up for no bottle at bed time. It takes a while for them to get use to new routines so keep trying.

When I transitioned both my kids from bottle and bed to just bed, I transitioned them with a sippy cup. I would give them a sippy cup with milk and ask if he/she would like a "drink" before going to bed. But I did do it at 16 months because that is what my doctor recommended. It sounds like to me he is missing the sucking feeling and relaxation that comes with a bottle. I would suggest a sippy cup and some soothing sounds and rocking to get him to settle down. Also, make sure he is taking an early afternoon nap so he is tired in the evening.

linday, when we switched our kids from cribs to toddler beds (27 months of age) i put a gate outside their room. but they were 2 years old at the time. i tucked them in, read a book, kisses and i got out of the room. with the gate outside their door they had no interest in opening the door and screaming. rather they played a bit realizing no one was coming in and would fall asleep after a short bit. before i went to bed i'd go in and make sure they're covered.
bottom line what worked for us was no negotiations bedtime was bedtime and mami was gone. their room was safe, nothing that would put their lives to risk, only plush toys on the floor.

What has worked for us is to stay with him until he falls asleep, either rubbing his back or playing with his hair. Something soothing. Normally takes no time at all.

My guess is that you have changed too many things all at once for your son. Giving up a bottle, and your cuddling, and his crib is sure to turn his world upside down. Maybe you could use the toddler bed at nap time (as a sort of practice time) and let him sleep in the crib at night. If he is in the crib at night and refusing to sleep you would won't have to guard the door since he can't get out of bed. And if you already have him broken of the bottle habit, wonderful, since that can be a tough one. Eventually it will all come together for your sone but I know how long it can sometimes seem.

L.,
When we moved my son from a crib to a toddler bed we anticipated all the problems you are now facing. He always went to bed without any problems, but we were afraid that he would climb out of his bed and not go to sleep. He did do exactly what we thought he would, but instead of fighting with him about being in bed we went through his normal bed time routine, said goodnight and left the room. He would get up from time to time to play or look at books, but he would eventually fall asleep on the floor or even crawl back up into his bed and go to sleep. This didn't last long. Once he got used to the new bed, he usually stayed in bed after we left the room.

Hope this helps.

We had this same problem with our daughter.We didn't fight her on staying in her bed.As long as she stayed in her room.The baby gate is a good idea.We closed the door and for about a month she would climb out of bed and sleep on the floor.After she was asleep we would put her in her bed.After awhile though she just stayed in her bed.This was a much better solution to fighting her and alot less stressful!Hope it works out for you.

Morning L.! First, sorry you're having such a difficult time getting your son to bed. It seems like he is trying to deal with two huge milestones at the same time. If the reason for the toddler bed was safety (he was climbing out of his crib), make sure there is a safety rail on the side of the toddler bed. Also, it will make him feel a bit more like he is still in the crib. Is the toddler bed in the same spot as the crib? Believe it or not, it can make a difference. At 20 months, he may not understand all these changes. Did you get him use to the toddler bed in baby steps? Like naps during the day first? Toddlers are very rigid little routine people and I know mine freak out if something is suddenly changed for them. Did he use to go to bed with his bottle? That would be a major upset to have it suddenly taken away. It helps sometimes (I have three kids) to put water in it for awhile or to just reduce the amount of milk slowly until it's not worth his time. The last thing I would say is just make sure the reasons for these changes are for his benefit and not because you feel pressured due to his age. Each child is different. I learned (the hard way) that it's sometimes best for the child to make big milestone decisions. Otherwise, you're all of a sudden in a huge battle of wills. I believe there is nothing stronger than a strong-willed child, they usually win every time!:) I guess at this point it is more important for you to understand that he may not have been ready for these changes. It is also very very normal for him to get out of bed several times as he adjusts to his new bed. My son got his crib converted to the toddler bed when he was 3 and he still gets out a few times a night. Unless you have "Super Nanny" on her way, you and your husband may have to decide if this is all worth it for your own sanity. It's okay to take a few steps back and start over again when your son may be more inclined to go along with the changes. Either way, good luck!!! (p.s. I also held my kids as they fell asleep. To make the transition to the crib without me I would let them fall asleep while I held their hand and would gradually sit a bit further from them each night. This worked very well for all of them.)

My suggestion is to put a babygate up in his doorway and don't give him the attention he is craving by putting him back to bed. If he falls asleep on the floor by the door then before you go to bed, go into his room to tuck him in and check on him and then put him back in bed at that time. He will get the hang of it. I know this advice sounds easier said then done but it works it will allow him some independence and for him to own this part of his day. He needs to learn to settle himself. In the past you held him and settled him now he needs to do it. He will be a better sleeper once you get through this. I promise you. good luck

Hello L.! It might too much change for him. Infants/Toddlers are creatures of habit and routine. Too much has changed for him. Why not let him keep the bottle as he gets used to the new bed. Then once he is used to sleeping in a "big boy" bed you take his bottle away. That's a lot of change all of a sudden for a child: A new bed and no more bottle. Hope this helps.

We have a 24 month old and just had a new baby so we asked our doctor about when to move to a toddler or big boy bed. She told us that unless the child has issues with climbing out of the crib, that we should keep him in there until he is 3. Psychologically a child really isn't able to understand "boundaries" like you stay in your bed at night, etc. until they are three. So we bought a second crib and we are VERY happy with the decision and plan to keep him there until it makes sense to put him in a bed. We have a toddler bed in his room and a big boy bed, but we are sticking to the crib until he starts getting out of it or after he's 3-- I can understand some families jumping to the big kid bed or toddler bed because they need the crib, but its not like developmentally they NEED to be making these milestones before 3- so I would put him back in the crib if that was an option! Our son loves his crib.

hi, I know what you mean, i have a 2 year old daughter who wanted to sleep in a twin bed, refuses the crib. she's okay about going to bed, but in the middle of the night, makes her way to our room and wants to sleep with us. I take her back to her room and tell her she needs to sleep or otherwise we will put her in the crib, and she doesn't like the crib, not sure if your crib is packed away. that's one way.

You seem to be doing a lot that is good. But, maybe if you read him a story while he is in his bed, and then leave a light on and some books for him to look at until he goes to sleep on his own. I had a daughter that was a night person - which I am not. She read in her bed until she went to sleep after I was already in bed and sleeping. She just was not ready and with four children it was our schedule. This is just one idea. P.

I have gone through the same bedtime struggles with my son, who is 3 years old. You are doing right by being close by and putting him back in bed time after time again. Although, remember to not talk to him or show much affection when tucking him back in, just do the physical placing him back in. Everytime you speak to a child it makes his brain sensors come active for another 5 minutes or so, making bedtime stalling longer. When do you put him down at night? Do you do about 20 minutes or so of downtime before lights out (meaning quiet play time with you and/or your husband). Also, a few minutes of hugs before laying him down might help too (showing him more security). Hopes this helps. I still have to take our son back to bed at least 2 times after his bedtime. He will adjust, just give it some time.

I wouldn't go backwards. You've taken away the bottle now deal with the "staying in bed". With our son, we switched him at a little less than 3 1/2. We explained to him that he had to go to bed and stay in his "big boy" bed. We made sure his room was "child proof" so that if he got up he couldn't do himself harm as well as making his rrom a bedroom not a play room. That would limit him of having things to get out of bed to do. If possible can you put a baby gate in his door way so that he cant go in and out. We put our son in, turned his nightlight on, and closed the door. He screamed, yelled, cried and talked for almost 2 weeks straight for about 20-40 minutes a night, we thought it would never end but we did not respond to it. We could tell that by his screams and cries that he wasn't hurt or scared -- he was mad. But we knew it was for the best. If you have to go to put him bac to bed, the first time I would say "it;s time for bed" but after that, don't say a word just pick him up, no eye contact and put him in his bed and walk out. If everytime you are talking to him - you are giving him your attention which is what he wants.
I know it is tough but if you can handle it, go to the family room and turn the tv up a bit louder, pressing mute periodically so you can hear what is going on and he will eventually work it out on his own and learn to put himself sleep.