Getting Rid of Binky

when my daughter was 25 months old, you wouldn't believe how obsessed she was with the binky! One day, i decided enough was enough... and I told her "it's all gone!". she accepted it!!!!! I was floored! now I'm going to try that trick with my younger daughter starting sunday. we'll see if it goes as smooth. wish me luck! and good luck to you too!

We took the binky fairy route, wrapped it in a box with a bow, put it in the mailbox for the fairy to come get and give to all the babies. The "fairy" left a little lantern style light in the mail box for my daughter to use at night instead of her binky. It worked, a few weeks ago we found an old one laying in the bottom of the toy box and she told me we needed to give it to the babies!

Hi, K. -
We have a 16-month-old daughter, and I can understand about getting rid of the "vice". We were giving our daughter a nighttime bottle when we put her down for the night, thinking that she was hungry, at least that's how it was when she was a few months old, so we just kept it going. However, we were TIRED of taking turns with getting up in the middle of the night to change her at least twice. Gradually, we gave her less formula, then just plain water. By the time she hit almost 13 months, we said no more bottle. That first week was tough, but we stayed consistent and just kept a united front with each other. She fussed and cried here and there, but eventually, she learned to just go without it. I'm really glad that we eliminated the nighttime bottle, and we've had pretty good nights of uninterrupted sleep.

As far as your situation goes, I'd just cut the binky off cold turkey - get rid of ALL binkies (cabinets, bedroom, the car, diaper bag, etc.) so that she can't see them anywhere. If doing it that way won't work, there's something that Supernanny did on one of her shows a while back....Explain to your daughter that she's a big girl now, and it's time to say good-bye to binky so that other babies can have it. Have a good-bye binky little "party", and put all binkies in a bag, and put it in the mailbox so the binky fairy can pick them up and share them with babies who need your daughter's help. As a reward for your daughter's cooperation, maybe give her a special dolly/bear/lovie of some sort (blanket might work, too). This way, she'll have something else to give her comfort, and you won't drive yourself crazy with the binky dangling in her mouth. All I know is that the earlier you eliminate something that your child really doesn't need (no matter if it's too hard for you or her), the better off you'll be, both short- and long-term afterwards.

Oh, and the screaming and crying when she's told no, just tune it out. I know it's not fun, but the more U hold your ground, the more she'll realize that it's not worth it for her to be overly dramatic about it. Our little one is ALREADY displaying the terrible 2's with her behavior here and there, and we tell her no. We explain why we tell her no, and if she continues with the tantrum, then what else can we do? I've been advised to scope out a "naughty spot" in all food stores, Walmart, malls, restaurants, etc., so that if/when our daughter misbehaves, the "naughty spot" is a universal understanding that bad behavior has consequences.

I hope this helps...I'm no expert or anything, just a Mom willing to go the distance for the sake of sanity!

Our 20 month old son is in for a bit of cold turkey himself soon. We haven't set a date, but it is SOON. We cut binky time down to naps, nighttime, and car/public "emergencies" about 2 months ago in preparation for this. We are used to the 2 weeks of transition by now with the other phases and stages and we are aware of the noise that comes out of our son. But, it is just noise and it ends when he finally moves on. We just get through it and support each other. (My opinion) I don't think this is really about our son wanting the binky as much as it is about my husband and I needing some control of the noise. But, that is us and our situation. The best advice I have read here is "stick with it" and "consistency." Don't lose sight of the big picture with immediate satisfaction. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

You should just get rid of it. By giving it to her for nap and bedtime she knows it is still there. She maybe cranky for a few days and cry for it but after that she will be fine. Trust me. I forgot to take my daughters binky to the sitter one day when she was 15 months old and she never asked for it again.

Hi K.
When my daughter turned 2, the pediatrician said, it's time to get rid of the binky, after trying a few different things, I read about this in a magazine, tell your child that it is time for the "binky fairy" to come and take your binky for other new babies. So, one night before bed, we got out a basket and put all of her binkies in there, the next morning, we ran over to the basket and oh my goodness, the binky fairy did come, now new babies would get to have a special binky to use. Believe it or not, this worked. I think Riley only asked one time for it and I just said, remember the binky fairy took it? She never asked for it again. Hope this helps!
From one K. to another!

Hi K.,

I wish i could help, but I am dealing with the same thing. My daughter is 11 months and i want to get rid of it by 12 months. Ha! What about cold turkey and just letting her scream. Easier said than done. I can't do that, but a friend of mine did. She says it is horrible for about 2 weeks and then it is over. Keep me in the loop. I am dreading this.
A.

The binky fairy is always a good choice.

With my daughter I cut it to bed times, if she wanted it, she had to sit in her bed. Then I started asking her to go 5 min without it, if she was still awake when I came in I would give it to her, and I did, then we went to 6 min, 7 min and so on, till one day she fell asleep without it, when she got up, I said see you don't need it, and so we gave them to another baby who would need them.

With my son, he was acting up at my inlaws ( I guess about age 2) I said something like if you don't stop no pasi tonight, he didn't stop, I took the pasi's and that was it, cold turkey.

You have to do what will work for you, but you have to be consistent, and you have to stick to it, otherwise you have to start all over.

Good luck.

I watched on Supernanny, they told the child that the "Binky Fairy" needed all of the 'big kids' binkies to give to all the new little babies. They had the little girl draw a picture for the 'new little baby' that would be getting her binkies and made a big production of putting it all in the big envelope, putting it in the mailbox, etc. The next morning, the envelope was gone, and a brand-new toy had been left in it's place.

This was such a cool idea! That way she has some 'control' over giving up her binkies and being a big girl.

I noticed that you have a 7 month old and you mentioned that your daughter only slept with the binky and now wants it all the time. It sounds like she may be regressing which they sometimes do when there is a new baby. I agree with the binky fairy idea.

My pediatrician told us to go cold turkey at 18 months because if you wait longer it will take A LOT longer. It went VERY well. I think you're still within that window and could go cold turkey.

K.,
Can you tell her no (except for naps & bedtime) and DISTRACT her with something else? If you can get to the point of only naps/bed, then eliminate it altogether maybe? OR you could go cold turkey--brace yourself for a few miserable days. A word of advice, if your youngest is still using a paci--stop it now before she gets too attached, too. Give her a special blanket or stuffed toy instead now.
Have you seen on Supernanny where she has the kid put her pacifier out for the Binky Fairy to give to babies who need them? Then the Binky Fairy leaves a cool new toy in it's place? That might work. Maybe you could de-binky your house all at once!

K.,

In my opinion, I don't feel there is a compromise. Either you get rid of it completely or you don't. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to break your daughter of her habit.

I had my daughter gather up ALL of her binks and throw them into the garbage can. That way she did it willingly and I didn't look like the "meany!" BUT, prepare your daughter about 3 days ahead of time that there will be no more binks so that it is not a complete shock.

Good luck to you!

E.

Hi K.,

My daughter was about the same age when her soothie (binky) went away for good. I started with her tossing it back into her crib when she got up. This way she was the one doing it and the one in control. Stick to your guns. If she is giving you a run for your money, she is just testing to see how far to go before you bend. Then we talked about giving it up for good for about a week or two. (just talking) Then one day, we asked her to give the soothie to Frosty, the snowman in the front yard. When she wasn't watching, my husband got rid of the snowman, soothie and all. When she looked for it, we explained that Frosty needed it and took it back to the north pool. In her mind that was very logical and we never had an issue. Good Luck!

I sort of had the same problem with my daughter....and she kept biting through it! So I went cold turkey...it's about all you can do. Try to cut her back again to just naps....distract her with something else when she demands it...then start cutting it back to just at bedtime....then not at all.....it will be rough...but worth it.

I know it will be tough but you need to stand your ground. I had a similar problem with my son. I just took it away and within a few days, the crying stopped completely. He hasn't had it since, even when sleeping. With enough patience and determination, you and your daughter will get through this.

In my opinion.. I am one that is and always have been totally against binkies.. My son was never introduced to them and I forbided it. My MIL would always try to give him one but he wouldn't take it.. I threw them away w/o her knowing.. I was always told that if it's a habit u have to break don't introduce it to your child. My one friend has a 4yr old that NEEDS his binky and she willingly gives it to him. I think it looks disgusting and stupid. She also has a 2yr old going in the same direction. But also neither of these kids are potty trained either. Binkies to me mean lazyness.. O my kids crying toss a binky in their mouth that will shut them up..

Now if ur still reading this.. You need to hold your ground and not give it to her during the day at all. She needs to understand that she's not getting it till nap or bedtime. If she wines and cries don't give in cause then she'll think that she will always get her way by wining and crying. Now that is a different issue u do NOT want to get into. GL!

My daughter was 2 in February and I do the binky only at night and for naps (sometimes in the car if it's a long trip and she might fall asleep). I have always done this, but I think you could switch over by putting her in her crib if she keeps asking for it. I think I had to do this once and a few other times she said she did want it and would go in her crib, but halfway to her room she gave up the binky instead of going to the crib. I think if that is what you want to do, just be consistent with it and she will learn that you are serious that the binky belongs in the crib. I do this mostly because I don't want to have a problem with her teeth and I also don't want to have the problem of where is the binky if she walks around with it and then leaves it somewhere. On the other hand, my niece and nephew used the binky until 3 or so and gave them up with almost no problem. I think 3 is a good age to make changes like that because they understand stuff like the binky fairy. Good luck!

At this age, they do become very attached to their comfort item and they want to walk around w/ it. We let our son carry his blankie around the house, but he must put the binky back in the crib. Every once in a while he tries to con us into letting him have the binky... They will test you! When she screams and cries for it during the day, just walk away, fold laundry, ignore it and it stops. But maybe she'd like to have a stuffed animal, or blanket nearby to help her feel more secure.

My daughter will be 2 July 31st and I took it away during the day because my sitter gets mad at me for giving it to her. She cries/whines for about 5 minutes every morning and I just say no, it's for nighttime. As soon as we walk in from the sitters she demands it like 5:00pm. I give in and let her have it. I don't even think she'd understand if I tried the binky fairy thing. I am going to let this go until her 2nd birthday in July and say now your a big girl and go cold turkey. It's going to be tough. Good luck.

Oh the binky dilemma!!! 2 out of my 3 kids LOVED, LOVED their binky!! My oldest gave it up to Santa, needless to say he was almost 3 and I could reason w/ him about giving it to Santa. My youngest child is 2 1/2 and he just gave up his binky a month ago. We finally put our foot down about no binky because, in spite of our efforts to keep extras where we could find them, I found myself spending half my day looking for a binky!! Not to mention, as a parent, I'm not a big fan of the binky at all. They are filthy and impairs their ability to talk but, at the same time, I tried not to worry about MY concerns because in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal. BUT be prepared for about 1-2 weeks of tantrums, crying and power struggles!! STICK TO YOUR GUNS and eventually they stop wanting the binky. Also, one reason I waited as long as I did w/ my children before I took it away was to prevent (hopefully) thumb sucking. Now the thumb you can't take away and a much harder habit to break. So, when you do decide to take the binky away, you want to consider whether your daughter is really ready or if you should wait a little while longer. Go w/ baby steps and DO take it away while she's awake during the day and only give it to her for sleeping. Again, it will NOT be easy but if you are consistent she will follow your lead! Good Luck!!!!

I'm very interested in this discussion -- my 23-month-old is a binky addict as well. I learned from a child development specialist in one of my playgroups that if the binky is a comfort object to the child, then pediatricians say it is okay for them to have it until as old as 4 years old.

I myself still harbor guilt about weaning my child at 20 months -- the mid-morning nursing was very hard for her to give up. I feel very reticent to take her bink away anytime soon, especially before she is old enough to be reasoned with and understand.

The responses to this request so far have been about taking the bink away -- any moms out there with the opinion that having a bink is not the end of the world? Just curious.

If your ready to get rid of the binky completely you could try what I did with my daughter. I snipped the very end of the binky off. Every week I would snip a little more. she would look at it a bit strange because it felt different in her mouth. After a little while she gave it up on her own.

Hi there K.! We had the same problem with our daughter! It's horrible, isn't it? Well, if you just stand your ground, she'll let it go eventually! My daughter gave hers up-unwillingly-a month before she turned 2!! And that was a night time only thing too! She actually lost it in a spare room in our house, so we had no choice to give it up. Then, after watching an episode of 'SupperNanny" I did the same thing they did on the show, I told her that "It was given to babies that needed it." Ever since...she's been fine! She does ask every now and then for it, and we just have to remind her that the babies have it cause she's a "BIG Girl"!
She will give it up...but you MUST put your foot down, and be strong. I know that it's hard...we just did it...but it's worth it. Your daughter will talk more and keep pushing the 'big girl' thing. give her a 'special' animal or something to sleep with at night or something. that may help as well. Take your time, and it'll work.
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GOOD LUCK!!
-C. S.

Binky Fairy didn't work for me. The snipping idea sounds wonderful though. I'm going to try that next. Good luck.